Consumer News and Links for Jan. 31st (Late Edition)

From the Du-ju-ana Shoplift For Mommy? department:

A Middletown, Ohio woman, Dujuana Horton, was caught teaching her two teen children how to shoplift from Wal-Mart. She urged her 13-year old daughter to stuff DVDs into her purse, then took her into the washroom to give her a lesson on how to remove the security strips. She has been charged with theft and contributing to the delinquincy of a minor. I sure hope these kids aren't home-schooled. (WCPO)

From the Check Yourself! department:

In another thrilling Wal-Mart delinquency story, Wendy Michelle Austin of Alabama was arrested for writing bad checks to the Wal-Mart Supercenter in Demopolis, AL. This marks the sixth shoplifting arrest made since the crooks company opened their store on Jan. 23rd. (The Demopolis Times)

From the Babysitter's Club department:

Juanita Rodriguez, 39, of Taunton, MA left her five-year old son home alone with a convicted child molester while she was busy shoplifting from a local department store. Juanita was arrested, as was Raul M. Ruiz, 50, who is listed as a Level 3 sex offender (that sounds like some kind of twisted version of Dungeons & Dragons). There's negligence and then there's complete stupidity! Juanita should have taken her five-year old son with her and taught him how to shoplift. That would have been easier to forgive. (The Enterprise)

From the We Don't Sell Wheelchairs department:

A top shopping mall owner in Australia has paid $38,000 to the Muscular Dystrophy Association of Australia for taking mall wheelchairs away from two brothers who were trying to get backto their car. One brother crawled back while the other had to be carried by his sister. That's one security guard you don't want to piss off! (Brockton News)

Jewel Nonfat Yogurt - Plain (32 oz.)

Item Purchased: Jewel Nonfat Yogurt - Plain (32 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.70 + tax

Review: Plain Yogurt, to me, is the culinary equivalent of acrylic gesso. It is the base for many foods and desserts. The primer for all sorts of ingredients that have actual flavor beyond sour and milky. Despite this view of yogurt, I still know people who eat the stuff with nothing else in or on it by the spoonfull. I have one question for these people: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? DID YOU EAT PASTE AS A CHILD?

Okay, so that is two questions, but they go hand in hand really. Given the situation.

Enough about ludicrous dietary activities. I purchased this extremely large tub of edible gesso in order to provide the base for a vegetable dip I am making tonight. I will be adding garlic, mint, onion, salt, pepper and a bit of cucumber to it. You know... Things that have flavor? My kitchen canvas will become a Modigliani or, at the very least, a Thomas Kinkade. I will be the Cooker of Light! Sorry to all of you paste-eaters, but this little dish might be too much for you.

Now I just have to figure out what I am going to do with the rest of the yogurt after I am done cooking up the neon.

Rating: 2.75 / 5

Dean's Ultra-Pasteurized Whipping Cream (1 pint)

Item Purchased: Dean's Ultra-Pasteurized Whipping Cream (1 pint)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.99 + tax

Review: "Whipping cream? Why would you buy whipping cream?"

I can hear you all asking me now. You probably think I don't know about aerosol technology or nitrous oxide. You probably have images of me sticking my face in the opening of the carton, trying to get a quick high.

Sorry, but I just think that whipping cream tastes a lot better when someone takes the time to do it right. Will I have the patience (or arm stamina) to do it right? I sure hope so, because the dessert dish tonight relies on my ability to whip this cream into a fatty creamy substance.

Not something I buy too often, I sometimes will use the leftover whipping cream in my coffee the next morning. Since whipping cream has nearly three times the fat content of my usual half & half, I can only tolerate this for about one cup of coffee. Any more than that and the coffee starts to taste as if I melted butter into my cup. I do like the process of turning liquid into a semi-solid though. There's something in the act that reminds me that my limbs are an important part of my body. It's like meditating on hot coals as a first-day yoga student and expecting to reach enlightenment. Wish me luck. I'm not sure if the last couple of sentences made any sense, but wish me luck anyway.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Sun Belle Raspberries (1/2 dry pint)

Item Purchased: Sun Belle Raspberries (1/2 dry pint)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.39 + tax

Review: Raspberries are usually a late summer crop. This might explain why it took some digging this morning to find a container of them. Blueberries and strawberries were plentiful, but I had to go to the end of the juice freezer and move a few blueberry cartons to find these things. I am hoping that the climate of Chile allows for the raspberries I bought today to be considered fresh since that is where they were grown. They taste fresh, but I'm not sure how preservatives and chemicals work. (Though I do know how tupperware works, if you need someone to model some food containers) From the one berry I ate today at work, Sun Belle Raspberries must be picked at the exact height of the season, because they were surprisingly juicy and sweet. The tanginess I love was still there, but in a perfectly balanced ratio.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract (1 fl. oz.)

Item Purchased: McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract (1 fl. oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $4.71 + tax

Review: One fluid oz. for $4.71!!!! All I can say is that I am thankful that our cars don't run on vanilla! What makes this seemingly ubiquitous flavor so expensive? Do secretive monks wring out vanilla vines in subterranean lairs, then sit down with a pint of fresh ice cream and watch Beauty and the Geek and silently cry? Even if that is how this small vial of flavor comes into being I wouldn't want to pay this amount on principle (Monks with bad taste).

I know that it only takes a little bit of this elixer of flavor to turn even the most bland dessert into a mouth-watering treat, but I just can't wrap my head around paying almost five bucks of my hard earned cash for a bottle this small. I may have to find other uses for vanilla extract than just cooking. Smelling salts for children perhaps? Eyedrops to make tears taste good? I'm open for suggestions. Tonight I will simply be using it to add to some whipping cream for the dessert I plan on making.

Then, maybe the next time I watch Beauty and the Geek, someone near me will lick up my tears.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

Buy some vanilla extract from Amazon.com: Consume.
Image from Amazon.com

Jewel Brand Plastic Entree Containers w/ Sealing Lids (5 ct.)

Item Purchased: Jewel Brand Plastic Entree Containers w/Sealing Lids (5 ct.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.40 + tax

Review: Since my girlfriend and I have started cooking every week, I find myself amassing more and more of her tupperware containers as I use them to transport the leftovers. Some day I will get around to washing the containers that are topping the mountain of dishes in the sink at home, but for now, I am buying all new containers to give to her. Of course I will probably use one or two of these tonight after we are done cooking, but that is neither here nor there. She'll still come out 3-4 containers ahead of the game in the long run.

It surprised me that the supermarket had their own brand of plastic food containers. I mean, is the container industry that competitive? Do container smuggling rings exist? Why does one brand's cover locking ability advertise itself as better than the other brand's when they all only sort of work? Taking the path of least resistance (in cover-lockability and wallet-fillability, I opted to buy the generic containers. I actually have a couple of these laying around the house (also atop the mountain of dishes in the sink) and I have never had trouble with the covers. Of course, whenever transporting food in these quasi-disposable containers, I always wrap the potential mess in a plastic bag just to be on the safe side. There hasn't been an accident yet, and a pack of five containers for the price of what one so-called permanent container whose brand has given rise to bizarre subcultures of women who like to throw parties around them and "burp" rubbery plastic covers costs is okay by me.

Obviously my mother's tupperware parties where I had to be the Vanna White of freshness by taking each new invention around to a group of women are still traumatizing me.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

Good Day Chocolate Chip Cookies (12 oz.)

Item Purchased: Good Day Chocolate Chip Cookies (12 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.75 + tax

Review: I purchased these cookies to use in the dessert dish I will be making tonight. Originally, I was going to buy some gourmet cookie from the top shelf of the dessert aisle, but because I was going to work and knew that some of my co-workers have a spidey-sense for baked goods, I decided to get the bulk discount package of cookies. This way, my friends at the book shop were able to munch and I still have some left to crumble up and serve tonight.

As with all of the discount brand cookies, these wafer thin snacks are a little stale tasting and scant on the chocolate chips. When biting into one of them, I am reminded of over-sized Nilla Wafers with a few chocolate sprinkles stuck to them. These cookies are not something I would buy if I were craving sweets, but I am confident that they will become more than a cookie in my able hands tonight.

Rating: 2 / 5

2 Herbal Garden Fresh Mint (3/4 oz.)

Item Purchased: Herbal Garden Fresh Mint (3/4 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $4.58 + tax ($2.29 ea.)

Review: Mince Mince Mince. That's all the dip I plan on making tonight seems to care about. Mince this, mince that! Why don't you mince it yourself!

Because, that would be dry and flakey, that's why. I was happy with the taste of Herbal Garden's Basil that I bought last week, so I thought I'd give an odd show of brand loyalty and take them up on their mint offering. I really like the company's policy of supplying pesticide free and organically grown herbs to the layman's food outlets across the country. No longer does an amateur chef like myself have to be swindled by the specialty food stores of the world. All I need to do is hop down the block to the megasuperultrastore on the corner and have my way with the fresh spice section. Like this mint, which smells like a brewed mint tea while it is still in the package. I purchased two because I wasn't sure how much of this it will take to make 1/4 cup of minced mint (hey, say that five times fast) and I need some extra garnishing for the Fool's Chocolate I plan on making for dessert.

Rating: 4 / 5

Image from theherbalgarden.com

Fresh Red Onion

Item Purchased: Fresh Red Onion
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $0.54 + tax

Review: I'm not a big fan of onions in general, but I respect them for the flavor they add to foods that they are prepared with. My only worry is that I begin crying like a baby forced to watch Teletubbies tonight when I am mincing this onion down to a manageable size to fit in the dip I am going to prepare. I'm glad the recipe called for the red variety of onion. Even if it hadn't I would have probably used a red onion anyway. I can't articulate the difference between red and white onions, but I can tell you that I smile a lot more and make sounds like the Teletubbies when I am presented with the red kind.

Big as a softball, hard as a rock and slightly fragrant before I even cut it, I can tell that this onion was worth every one of the 54 cents I paid for it. Also, I never really thought about it much, but something tells me that the farming and preservation of root vegetables is on the easy end of the produce spectrum.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Fresh Cucumber

Item Purchased: Fresh Cucumber
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $0.79 + tax

Review: We've had some problems with inappropriate websites being accessed at work, so to be on the safe side, I decided not to search for a cucumber stock photo to accompany this entry. I'm not sure I even want to know what would come up if I did a Google image search for the word "cucumber."

What is the protocol for picking out a cucumber at the supermarket by the way. You knock on melons and squeeze tomatoes. All I know is that Jewel has two different kinds of cucumbers: Smallish cooking cucumbers and large-ish generic cucumbers. I opted for the large-ish ones and chose one of the largest and greenest I could find. Crisp and slightly sweet to the taste, this is going to provide us with great dipping material for the side dish I plan to make tonight.

I'd give you ballpark measurements of the cucumber I bought, but I know some of you are reading this at work and I wouldn't want your boss to think something nefarious was going on.

Rating: 4 / 5

Fresh Head ofGarlic

Item Purchased: Fresh Head Of Garlic
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $0.27 + tax

Review: It's cooking night again, and even though we still have the jar of crushed garlic I bought last week, tonight's recipe calls for minced garlic. Though it is tempting to be the typical lazy man in this situation and just throw in a bit of the crushed garlic, you have to understand something.

I'm very passionate about cooking.

Not that I follow recipe directions to the letter, because I don't. In fact, I add spices and other ingredients all of the time to make my own creations (remind me to tell you about my pizza omelette sometime). Most guys probably wouldn't think much of the difference between minced and crushed, but to me that is like cooking with apples and oranges! Crushed means you are adding flavor. Minced means you are adding texture and flavor. Big difference, see! Shutup. Cooking is something I enjoy and I don't get to do it as much as I would like to, so I like to make a process out of it.

Jewel's produce is usually hit or miss, but I don't think it is that easy to screw up something like a head of garlic. This particular one was large and stinky, just the way it is supposed to be.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 31st (Morning Edition)

From the Not The Result, But The Experience department:

Leave it to the Japanese to come up with the ultimate postmodern shopping spree. At this website, you pay money to purchase an item of your choice. However, you don't actually recieve the item itself, but a video of a Japanese woman shopping gleefully for you. Now even if you are a shopaholic but don't have the room for more stuff, you can still experience the joy of the purchase. Totally weird and somewhat disturbing! (Mofukunosusowokarage via Boing Boing)

From the International Relations department:

Author and investment strategist Bob Froelich outlines a new generation of Chinese youth in his new book, Investment Megatrends. Today's Chinese 20-30 year olds keep a credit debt higher than the average American, revel in instant consumer gratification and have a deep ache for American products. His name for this group of people? Chuppies. (groan) I think back to all of the "made in China" stickers that I have seen in my life and can't imagine being excited about seeing a tag that says "Made in the U.S.A." Does this mean that Chinese people are buying all of our overalls, tractors and day-traders? (Miami Herald)

Jan. 31st - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Carnation Sweetened Condensed Milk (14 oz.)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: 2-for-1 pack of Marlboro Blend 27 Cigarettes
Price: $7.33 w/tax
Review: (LINK)

2 Jewel Party Peanuts (12 oz.)

Item Purchased: 2 Jewel Party Peanuts (12 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.15 + tax (2 for the price of 1)

Review: All I needed were a few peanuts for some pasta I was going to make. A little pasta, a little vodka sauce, some chili powder, Old Bay seasoning and a few peanuts for added protein and crunch. However, Jewel was offering these generic store-brand peanuts for two for the price of one, so I have peanuts for my pasta and peanuts for snacking. I am a firm advocate of keeping your diet stocked with different nuts and seeds, but I am not under the illusion that these specific peanuts are healthy in the least. With each bite, you can taste the oil and salt seeping into your veins and clogging them. I dropped a few of these peanuts into my bowl of ice cream this evening, and it immediately transformed my sweet oatmeal cookie cream into something resembling potato-chip flavored ice cream. A great snack to go along with a beer at the end of the night or to use in a stir fry. However, if the recipe calls for salt, you may want to hold back and just let these nuts do the trick. Come to think of it, you may even be able to hold off on the cooking oil a bit when using these slippery things.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

Three Chili Chicken on Cuban Roll

Item Purchased: Three Chili Chicken on Cuban Roll
Location Purchased: 7-Eleven / 1350 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.69 + tax

Review: Convenience food lesson #1: If you microwave it and it doesn't emit an odor, run in the opposite direction.

I wish I would have followed this rule when I bought this sandwich today. I always like to try the new sandwich creations at 7-Eleven, and usually they come up with something I can tolerate. Not this time! The appeal, for me, was the promise of three chilies and smoked pulled chicken. Like I said though, when I nuked this poor substitute for a sloppy joe... nothing. When I took the sandwich from the microwave, I waved it underneath my nose as if it were smelling salt. Still nothing. Fer Chrissakes! You would think that with three chilies inside of this mess and a Cuban roll with all sorts of spices and onion-like parts that there would be at least a faint smell of stinky. Nope. Nothing! NOTHING! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I KNOW THAT CONVENIENCE FOOD IS THE NUTRITIONAL EQUIVALENT OF STYROFOAM, BUT AT LEAST TEASE ME!!! LIE TO TWO OF MY FIVE SENSES!

I'm okay... I'm okay...

Seeing that scent is supposed to be a major factor in how something tastes, I expected the mush-on-a-bun to just be a filling substance to get me through the day and give me the minimal amount of energy it takes to slug my way to 10:00 PM. Wrong again. Even worse. The "chicken" tasted like brown and the bun tasted like gray. I don't have synesthesia, I just don't know how else to describe the drab heavy taste. This chicken was the kind of chicken that makes you remember all of those videos that the crazy PETA people show outside of concerts and shopping malls. I'm pretty sure I ate a part of a chicken who is still hooked up to a life support system in some lab and is the victim of growth hormones that help it to grow back the pale green flesh the butchers take for their lunch "meat." The so-called peppers and salsa reminded me of mushrooms (I hate mushrooms!), and the so-called cheddar cheese tasted like nothing more than American Cheese with a darker food dye in it.

Instead of having the energy to get through my work day, I was left with just enough energy to massage my queasy stomach and fight off the bloated feeling this sandwich gave me.

Something tells me that I will be making some food tonight so I can bring my lunch to work tomorrow.

Rating: 0.15 / 5

Carnation Sweetened Condensed Milk (14 oz.)

Item Purchased: Carnation Sweetened Condensed Milk (14 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel
Price: $2.54 + tax

Review: There is not much to say about condensed milk. With the consistency of petroleum jelly after a day in the sun and the look of collected phlegm (or other unmentionable bodily excretions), it's amazing that this stuff was almost sold out at the grocery store today. I've always thought that drinking cow milk is a rather odd thing for humans to do - and with all of the added hormones and such, it is even more odd and disgusting when you think about it - but milk with the water removed? Opening this can made me think that this is what the inside of my stomach looks like every time I eat a bowl of cereal.

So if I am going to go on and on about how disgusting this goopy dairy dreck is, why did I buy a can of the stuff you ask? To make Ca Phe Sua Nong with my new Single Cup Coffee Filter, that's why! Because condensed milk already has loads of sugar added to it, it is the perfect creamer for coffee. I hear that certain bakery recipes call for this stuff as well. I am also sure it would act as a great lubricant for large machinery... if it weren't for the sugar of course. Any other uses? I can't think of any. As a coffee contribution, this disgusting substance gets a rating of 5, but due to it's relative disgusting nature (funny, this makes me queasy, but I can watch the goriest horror movies without so much as a flinch), I'm rating it as precisely mediocre.

Rating: 2.5 / 5

Buy some condensed milk from Amazon.com: Consume.

Image from Amazon.com

Jan. 30th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Planters Smoked Almonds (1.5 oz tube)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Chocolate Chip Cookie from Caribou Coffee
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Newman's Own Vodka Sauce (26 oz.)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Ben & Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk Ice Cream (1 pt.)
Review: (LINK)

Soft Sesame Coated Candy (3 candy patties)

Item Purchased: Soft Sesame Coated Candy (3 candy patties)
Location Purchased: Viet Hoa Plaza Inc. / 1051 W. Argyle / Chicago, IL
Price: $0.96 + tax

Review: These inexpensive and seasame-laden gummy discs are one of my favorite Asian desserts. What you get is a flat caramel colored circle about 5-6" in diameter pocked with more sesame seeds than a D&D player has acne. When you bite into or try to tear these discs into bite-size pieces, the struggle ensues. So sticky and fused together are these candies, that I presume that you burn enough calories tearing and gnawing as you gain by digesting. Made up of peanuts and corn syrup, the candy tastes a lot like Peanut Butter. The sesame seeds enhance the nutty flavor and give the candy a cobblestone texture that prevents the candy from sticking to your teeth. Unfortunately, the sesame seeds themselves stick between your teeth. Such is the life of a candy addict I guess. At $0.96 for three discs, this is a much better value than any peanut butter and chocolate candy bar. If you absolutely need the chocolate flavor however, I suggest spreading some Nutella on these sticky candies. Then watch the messy struggle ensue!

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Banh Hoi Tom Thit Nuong

Item Purchased: Banh Hoi Tom Thit Nuong
Location Purchased: The House of Noodle / 1063-1065 W. Argyle / Chicago, IL
Price: $8.95 + tax

Review: Very few of the items on The House of Noodle's menu had an English translation in the title. Instead, someone like myself who reads only a bit of German and a lot of Americanese has to read the descriptions of each dish to get an idea of what they are getting into. Not wanting to ingest more cow tonight, I chose this dish which consists of lemongrass pork and grilled shrimp served atop a bed of knitted vermicelli noodles. Also on the plate is a heaping hill of mint leaves, bean sprouts, carrot strips, onions, peanuts (yum!) and lettuce. I must not have read the entire description because the first thing the food runner brought to our table was a large bowl of hot water and a plate of dried rice papers. Essentially, what I ordered was a do-it-yourself spring roll kit. I have never made spring rolls before, so I needed a bit of guidance from my friends on how exactly to go about the process. What ensued was a joyous dinner hour of dipping the rice papers in water, dipping my fingers in the various foodstuffs on my plate and wrapping them up like finger-food burritos. Being a fan of interactivity, the process of constructing my dinner as I ate thrilled me to no end. The House of Noodle also stocks each table with three different chili sauces and several other condiments with which to garnish your meal. It was like eating 10-15 different pork-and-shrimp-based appetizers for dinner. Some were tangy and spicy, others were mild and luscious. Some had chewy noodles inside, while others only resonated the crunch of sprouts and peanut. The pork was delicate, tender and sublimely marinated and the shrimp were just the right size for the rice papers given to me. We all tried our hand at rolling a spring roll or two, but the prize has to go to Michaelia, who mastered the art on her first try. I felt bad because she made such a beautiful presentation of my food, but couldn't try it herself due to her being a vegetarian. She still had fun with the construction... and didn't even seem to mind too much that she was touching the flesh of dead animals in the process. Something tells me that her talents were simply an extension of her recently learned skill of rolling cigarettes. We spoke fleetingly about the prospect of opening her own restaurant where her primary task was to prepare spring rolls for people. Maybe if we sold tobacco, she could to both. Spring rolls and cigarettes! I'm not sure that combination has been attempted before!

Much like the restaurants in Chicago's Chinatown, The House of Noodle doesn't spend a lot of time on their cosmetic atmosphere. Simple tables and chairs, spaced comfortably, a small bar and simply uniformed servers. In my opinion, this is a good way to tell a quality ethnic restaurant from the places established simply to take tourists' money. The House of Noodle is one of the former. I will return soon and keep it on my short list of places to bring friends who visit me from out of town.

Rating: 4.5 / 5

Bo Lui (Grilled Beef) Appetizer

Item Purchased: Bo Lui (Grilled Beef) Appetizer
Location Purchased: The House of Noodle / 1063-1065 W. Argyle / Chicago, IL
Price: $4.25 + tax

Review: Vietnamese Cuisine has so much meat in it! My friend James purchased a bowl of noodle soup that had almost every part of the cow in it... including tripe! With over eighty things on the menu and nearly seventy of them beef-based, I decided that when in Little Vietnam... and began with a beef appetizer.

This appetizer comes with two beef skewers on a bed of lettuce, served with a side of cucumber slices and fish sauce. The beef was so heavily marinated that it was a shiny greasepaint red. Subtlety and beef are not two concepts I place side by side, so this teriyaki-tasting beef stick was a perfect warm-up to get me ready for the further carnage that was about to ensue. Especially tasty was the method for eating these beef bits that James walked me through. First, take a healthy chunk of de-skewered cow, wrap it inside of a lettuce leaf along with a cucumber slice and dip it in fish sauce before gnawing. How the Vietnamese consider something this heavy and spanning of the food groups an appetizer, I'll never know. I do know that I would order this dish again, despite not being beef's number one fan.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

Trung Nguyen Coffee (Ground - 15 oz.)

Item Purchased: Trung Nguyen Coffee (Ground - 15 oz.)
Location Purchased: Viet Hoa Plaza Inc. / 1051 W. Argyle / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.22 + tax

Review: Vietnamese coffee grounds for my new single cup coffee filter so I can make some Vietnamese style coffee.

I like to be consistent when I can.

I was a bit disappointed when I couldn't find a whole bean version of this coffee, but the strong scent of this product, even before cracking the pull-tab seal, was a major selling point for me. I caught a whiff of something spicy and thought it may have been some of the chicory scent from the coffee on the shelf next to it, but when I got home, I realized that it was cherry. The inclusion of cherry in this medium roast of coffee brings out certain flavors of the coffee bean that are otherwise lost. The resulting cup of coffee is strong and ticklish to both the taste buds and the nose. Full-flavored and then some, this coffee may just make me go out of my way for - I thought I'd never say it - pre-ground coffee. The only pre-ground coffee I enjoy more than Trung Nguyen is Cafe Bustello, which my local Jewel doesn't seem to carry.

Update (01/30/06): I just brewed a pot of this coffee in a regular drip coffee maker and the resulting coffee turned out a bit acidic. Looks like I won't be heading up to Argyle St. as often as I originally thought. I'll stick to brewing this stuff in my single cup brewer with condensed milk .

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Image from trungnguyen.com.vn

Stainless Steel Single Cup Coffee Filter

Item Purchased: Stainless Steel Single Cup Coffee Filter
Location Purchased: Viet Hoa Plaza Inc. / 1051 W. Argyle / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.99 + tax

Review: The primary reason for heading up to Little Vietnam on Argyle street this Sunday was to wander around with a couple of friends, find some good food and have a good time. Those three things should be a constant goal of life if you ask me. However, it is also nice to have personal goals. My personal goal for Sunday was to find and purchase one of these coffee filters so I could make Vietnamese style coffee in the comfort of my own home whenever I please. Missions accomplished!

This coffee filter is an extremely simple contraption consisting of three components. First, the base and filter are designed with a wide brim at the bottom so that it is able to sit upon almost any coffee cup you may have laying around your kitchen. Second is the water screen which screws into the inside of the filter to compress the coffee grounds, and third is the loose fitting lid to keep the water inside hot as the coffee brews. Though the brewing process of this filter is simple, it does require a bit of patience. The wait may seem exceptionally long if you are the type of person who likes to drink very large (Venti for you Starbucks zombies) cups of coffee. Despite the brewing time, this filter does result in an exceptionally strong and bold cup of coffee almost every time. There are a few specifics you need to know when making coffee in this filter, but for the most part, it is as easy as pouring in a few teaspoons of coarse coffee grounds, screwing the water screen into the filter, pouring some boiling water into the filter and placing the cover on the top to keep the freshness of the brew in. I like to start with some condensed milk in the bottom of my coffee cup. If you do this, the coffee will drip through the filter and rest on top of the milk. When you are done making your cup of coffee, stir to mix the two liquids and the end result is almost like a latte made with equal parts espresso and equal parts milk.

My only problem with this coffee filter is the instruction sheet. It tells you to pour in a bit of boiling water to get the brewing process ready, then tells you to unscrew the water screen a little to allow room for the coffee grounds to expand. The problem is that even if it isn't touching the grip of the water screen, the steam will make unscrewing the steel component extremely uncomfortable and difficult. To get around that small inconvenience, I simply keep the water screen fairly loose on top of the coffee grounds.

I suspect that I will be using this filter a lot in the coming months. I may even head back up to Viet Hoa Plaza and get one to keep at work. Usually I drink two to three cups of coffee in the morning to get myself going. With a cup from this brewing process, I only need one or less.

Rating: 4 / 5

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 29th (Mid-Day Edition)

From the Toys For Dirty Old Men department:

A company called Satugo has developed a 3.0-MP camera in the form of a bouncing rubber ball. I actually think this is pretty cool (and it will probably save those camera-tossers over at Flickr some repair money), but part of me says that this is just the evolution of shoes with mirrors on the toes. "I'm sorry ma'am, I seem to have dropped my rubber ball under your dress!" Coincidentally enough, the SRP starts at $69. Cue Bill & Ted soundbytes. (MobileMag)

Reviewed On Mediatron!

LIVE: Titmice, Milk at Midnight, Telenovela, Adam Fitz & Big Buildings

Reviewed on Mediatron!

Reviewed On Mediatron!

CD: "I Don't Wanna Go Down To The Basement" Live at the Sweatbox Compilation

Reviewed on Mediatron!

Jan. 29th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Spanish Classic Breakfast Sandwich from Kristoffer's Cafe
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Cup of Coffee from Kristoffer's Cafe
Review: (LINK)

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 28th (Mid-Day Edition)

From the Poetic_Justice.MPEG department:

"Our poll shows that gadgets are now the way to a man's heart," said Miranda Su, vice president of sales and marketing at IOGEAR Inc. "With affordable, convenient tech tools now available and in demand, gift giving becomes a lot easier. Males and females alike are hoping to get an mp3 player over a dozen roses or heart-shaped chocolate."

Sorry to all of the poets out there. Looks like you're out of a job! (IT News Online)

From the It's Not An Errand, It's An Adventure! department:

New England retail chain, Ocean Stat, buys discontinued products, closing store's stock and other inexpensive leftovers to sell at steep discounts in their own stores. This results in a stock that continually changes and is always a surprise. They like to call this inconsistency "Adventure Shopping." The next time I go to the thrift store, I'm telling all of my friends that I am going Adventure Shopping. This is gonna be sweet! (Bangor Daily News)

From the They're Heeeeeeere... department:

Archaeologists have discovered 1300 skeletons in a medieval cemetery on what is to become an $834 million shopping center. Man those kids are going to be pissed when they realize that they have to actually run to use their slip-n-slides! (Sunday Times)

Jan. 28th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Medium Dunkin' Donuts Coffee (Cream & Sugar)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Peanut Donut from Dunkin' Donuts
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Bacon, Egg & Cheese Breakfast Sandwich on Poppy-Seed Bagel from Dunkin' Donuts
Review: (LINK)

Mmmmmm..... Healthy Breakfast!

Item Purchased: Camel Turkish Royal Cigarettes (Hardpack)
Review: (LINK)

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 27th (Late Edition)

From the Indie Shopper department:

I randomly ran across this site while surfing the web. Quixtar.com is a sort of internet middle-man between the consumer and independent business owners. You can use Quixtar.com to search for whatever it is you need and they will bypass all of the megamarts and superstores to put you in touch with what is the modern day equivalent of a mom-and-pop store. Kinda cool. Be sure to check out their "Hot Buys" section while you are there! (Quixtar.com)

From the Talk Is Cheap, Data Storage Is Cheaper department:




Holy keychain cache Batman! Amazon.com has a Memorex 2 GB USB 2.0 Travel Drive for only $69.99 after a $25 mail-in rebate! (Amazon.com)


Image from Amazon.com

Weekly Buy Nothing Day! Jan. 27th!

Want to learn how to Buy Nothing? Ehow.com has an amusing six-step primer on the process here.

As for me, I'm taking the day off from digging through my pockets for spare change and wadded up Washingtons. I'm going to read a bit, write a bit, take a walk through the sunny bearable day Chicago has given us and work a bit. Then after work, some music making and habit breaking fun.

What are you doing today?

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 27th. (Mid-Day Edition)

From the Bono-fied Charity department:

Bono, of hob-nobbing with world leaders and Angelina Jolie fame (oh yes, he also has a band with a couple of friends named after a spyplane and German submarine), has been using his superstar status to urge several large corporations to participate in an ethical shopping program where a fraction of the proceeds from certain lines of products will be donated to charity to fight Aids, Tuberculosis and other world ills. Bono has hooked up with the likes of American Express and Nike's Converse to create Product Red. There will also be an opportunity for those interested to get a credit card where 1% of the purchases made will be donated as well. Bono has been receiving much criticism for hooking up with large corporations like Nike, but I like to think he is on the right track. The problem is, how much are these companies committed to sustainable industry and fair employment for the people in the countries where they set up factories? It's always good to cut your profits and trick everyday consumers into doing good, but if the company itself is not helping at its base level of operations, isn't all of this just chasing windmills? (Belfast Telegraph)

From the Trade Fair Trade? department:

Alex Frey over at the University of Maryland's Diamondback challenges our acceptance of fair-trade do-goodery by breaking the reaches of the process down into basic easy-to-read economics. He had me going until he made this comment:
"These farmers could switch to a different occupation or crop, one where they will not be dependent on the continuing charity of others to survive."

Funny. I feel that same way about the automobile industry's reliance on combustion engines and petroleum. Hey, I know! Why don't coffee farmers and auto mechanics get together, create and market automobiles that run on coffee beans, give every child a kitten and a puppy and live happily ever after? (Diamondback Online)

From the Cute And Worthless department:

Some young hipster from the UK developed a cute little carrying case for your iPod that is made to look like a hoodie sweatshirt. While this is cute, I can't believe so many people are buying this crap! You can't even use your iPod's buttons while it is in the protective carrying case. I already have to pull my iPod out of my pocket when I want to change songs. I'll be damned if I'm going to fumble with its hoodie like it is some drunken indie rock girl too! (Review & Observer)

From the Reminders department:

Woot.com still has some of those 8.1 megapixel cameras left. I can't believe they haven't sold out! Don't sleep! (Woot.com)

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 27th (Morning Edition)

From the Quicksnap McWoot department:

Oh man this is so hard for me not to buy. $254.99 for a Vivitar Vivicam 8.1 Megapixel Digital Camera at Woot.com! If only I didn't get my gas bill in the mail yesterday. For those of you with more disposable income than myself, act fast. This one probably won't last long! (Woot.com)

To Be Reviewed on Mediatron

Item Purchased: LIVE: Titmice, Milk at Midnight, Telenovela, Adam Fitz & Big Buildings
Location Purchased: Subterranean / 2011 W. North Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.00

Item Purchased: CD: Sweatbox Compilation
Location Purchased: Subterranean / 2011 W. North Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.00

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 26th (Late Edition)

From the Evil Genius department:

I hate to admit it, but Wal-Mart is smarter than I expected. With a new music downloading service popping up every minute and basically mimicing iTunes, Wal-Mart has decided to go a slightly different route in order to hype the crap they sell in their music department. Instead of being able to download artist's albums and songs, Wal-Mart's website is offering free advertising content for select music groups such as videos and song clips. They will also feature exclusive live sessions from artists which you can stream or purchase tracks from for $0.88 each (I'll bet Apple is shaking in their boots at the $0.11 warfare). Disgusting as this advertising tactic is, I have to give Wal-Mart credit for working around the ubiquitous technology and music service choices already in place and coming up with something that doesn't threaten to compete, but rather take further advantage of iPodders with horrible taste in music. (PRNewswire via Engadget)

From the Lazy Sunday department:

I've been busy out of my mind lately, but I promise to make at least two updates to Mediatron this weekend. I've been working on some reviews and review ideas. Stay tuned. Or don't.

Medium Mocha Java Blend Coffee from Caribou Coffee

Item Purchased: Medium Mocha Java Blend Coffee from Caribou Coffee
Location Purchased: Caribou Coffee / 1328 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.70 + tax

Review: I'm willing to bet good money that people see this coffee blend and buy it because they think it is going to taste like a cafe mocha: all chocolatey and sweet. Nope! Sorry! The mocha in this coffee actually refers to a port city in Yemen where 17th century European traders bought coffee, bedded natives and otherwise raised a ruckus. 40% of this coffee blend is made up of beans from that region. The rest of the blend comes from coffee beans off of the island of Java (no, it's not just a cute name for a cup of coffee).

This coffee isn't that bad for a dark roast. Low in acidity and a bit heavy on the palette, I can honestly say that I enjoy drinking this blend. My love for Java beans started when I was in high school and used to buy my coffee exclusively from Milwaukee, Wisconsin's Fuel Cafe. As a burgeoning young coffee snob, I used to drive the 20-30 minutes every weekend to get a bag of their house blend, which was made primarily of Java coffee beans. Now, no matter if the roast is light or dark, the earthy taste of Java never fails to put a smile on my face...or at least raise my frowning scowl to a flat expressionless line.

Rating: 3 / 5

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 26th (Morning Edition)

From the Caffreeine department:

Gevalia coffee is offering a free 4-cup sample of their coffee with (from what I can tell) no strings attached. You don't even have to enter your e-mail address or phone number so no annoying phone calls or spam! I have received four Gevalia coffeemakers for free in the past by joining their coffee subscription service and promptly quitting after receiving my shiny new contraption. Now I don't even have to worry about the breakup call! (Gevalia Coffee)

Jan. 26th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Medium Dunkin' Donuts Coffee (Cream & Sugar)
Review: (LINK)

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 25th (Late Edition)

From the Cheap Love department:

For those of you who have let the Hallmark Corporation make you their bitch, here are some really bad (but free) valentines for you to print out. I'm providing this link for those of you with children who insist on passing out valentines to every cute boy in class. I suppose this would also be a valid link for those of you who want to end your current relationship but lack the courage or tact to do it any other way. Of course if you are just cheap, you could always try and convince your snookums that the ink used in printing her valentine costs more than a store-bought card. That will really impress her. (DLTK's Printable Crafts for Kids)

From the Terrorist Fashion (Round 2) department:

As a follow up to yesterday's link about the black market being directly tied to terrorist organizations, here is a story about 18 landlords on Manhattan's Canal street that have agreed to post signs saying retailers are not allowed to sell Louis Vuitton merchandise. Canal St. has become a popular destination for tourists looking for the counterfeit bags. Louis Vuitton himself is in discussions with several other landlords, trying to convince them to take the same measures. Good God's America! You are a true patriot, Louis! Your efforts to secure your profits is ending terrorism as we speak! Keep this up and we may call our deep-fried potato strips French Fries again! Christopher J. Falvey is so proud of you! (WNBC)

From the Best Shoplifting Story Ever! department:

A 33-year-old female prostitute from New Zealand stole a $250 watch and flew over police officers on a paraglider in an attempt to escape. Do you need me to tell you how awesome that scenario is? (New Zealand Herald)

From the Worst Shoplifting Story Ever! department:

A 30-year-old Beijing woman was caught stealing approximately US$1.50 worth of powdered milk. When four security guards confronted her, she confessed and begged forgiveness. The security guards proceeded to beat her with wooden blocks and clothes racks for nearly 12 hours then threw the woman out of the back door of the supermarket. Nineteen days later, the woman died of cerebral hemmorhage. Do you need me to tell you how disgusting that scenario is? (China View)

From the You Still Don't Get Any Health Insurance In The Future department:

Super-Discount-Centers Costco and Wal-Mart are considering using biometric scanners to let their customers pay by scanning their fingerprints. Oh good! The employees still won't be able to feed their families or go to the doctor despite the 50+ hours they work, but I get to check out with HAL 9000. (CNN via Engadget)

Jan 25th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Medium Coffee from Gourmand Coffeehouse
Price: $1.65 + tax
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Cinnamon Chip Scone from Caribou Coffee
Review: (LINK)
Note: After eating that monstrosity yesterday, I had to renew my faith in all that is Cinnamon Chip.

Item Purchased: Medium Costa Rica Coffee from Caribou Coffee
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Chocolate Chip Cookie from Caribou Coffee
Review: (LINK)

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 24th (Late Edition)

From the I Almost Agreed With A Conservative department:

Christopher J. Falvey blogs about the direct connection between the black market and terrorism. He starts out by illspeaking irresponsible, gluttonous consumerism which is something I agree with. Then, he goes on to prove himself a complete asshat by stating:

"The bad guys are no longer a few derelicts on a street corner peddling fake watches from a trench coat. Rather, the bad guys are now extremist political organizations- terrorists- many bent on disrupting or destroying capitalism itself."

And what examples does he cite? None whatsoever. Sorry, but I don't buy my bootlegged porn from Bin-Laden. I buy it from Perry, the Vietnam vet with one leg who hangs out down the street. As long as he keeps bringing me my extreme hardcore, he can fund whatever extremist lunch organizations he wants to.

(VN/VO Syndicate)

Cinnamon Chip Scone from Starbucks Coffee

Item Purchased: Cinnamon Chip Scone from Starbucks Coffee
Location Purchased: Starbucks Coffee / Sears Tower / 233 S. Wacker / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.95 + tax

Review: Do you like frosting? Sugar and frosting? You don't really have to like cinnamon or scone bread to enjoy this dessert designed to send a typical child into orbit. Unlike the other cinnamon chip scones I write so tenderly and lovingly about, Starbucks' version of one of my favorite bakery items aims for birthday cake status by heaping on the ultra-sweet frosting. Though I know some of you will think that I am trash talking this item simply because it is from Starbucks, I assure you I am not. I actually like the chocolate chip cookies and blueberry muffins at Starbucks. Before you judge me to be a snob, try one of these monstrosities yourself! Then you can tell me how right I am and also judge me a snob.

Rating: 1 / 5

Grande Medium Yukon Blend Coffee from Starbucks Coffee

Item Purchased: Grande Medium Yukon Blend Coffee from Starbucks Coffee
Location Purchased: Starbucks Coffee / Sears Tower / 233 S. Wacker / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.70 + tax

Review: So I am stuck working in the Sears Tower today where there are two options for coffee. The first option is Starbucks, which you all know how much I hate. The second option is Corner Bakery. Though I hate to admit it, Corner Bakery wins the Consumatron award of being one of the only places that makes worse coffee than Starbucks. Their coffee is light roast just the way I like it, has a light caramel flavor just the way I like it, but Corner Bakery either doesn't use enough coffee grounds in their filters or they water it down after it is done brewing. I am ashamed to admit that Corner Bakery might be able to learn something from Starbucks. If there is one thing worse than coffee that is too dark, it is coffee that tastes like a coffee flavored soup.

All that being said, I trudged into the Starbucks on the ground level of the Sears Tower and ordered a "medium" coffee. The overly-enthusiastic nice young man behind the counter promptly corrected me by repeating "Grande Coffee?" I begrudgingly said "yes" and thought to myself just give me my damn caffeine regardless of what you call the cup it comes in!

The Yukon blend doesn't taste like anything I've ever had from the Yukon. Instead, it tastes like someone filtered water through dirt from the Yukon the, for good measure, dumped a few of the old grounds in the cup of coffee too.

Rating: 1.25 / 5

Image from Starbucks.com

Vegan Blueberry-Lemon Muffin from Argo Tea

Item Purchased: Vegan Blueberry-Lemon Muffin from Argo Tea
Location Purchased: Argo Tea / 16 W. Randolph / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.25 + tax

Review: In addition to Argo Tea's regular muffin selection, they also offer a few different flavors of vegan muffins delivered to them daily from The Chicago Diner. As many times as I have been to the Chicago Diner, I have never tried any of their bakery, so I went with the tree-huggin' option today for only a quarter more. In addition to never eating a vegan muffin, I also don't know if I've ever had a blueberry muffin with lemon in it either. Wow! What a day of new experiences. I'm going to go home and tell my friends about it tonight! I am not a vegan myself, and am not familiar with what they use to substitute the eggs that usually go into making muffins, but I'll be damned if I could tell the difference! This muffin was fluffy, moist and packed with blueberry chunks. The lemon flavor added a zing to an otherwise zingless (yet delicious) muffin. All of this and free wireless too! I will definitely be coming back to Argo Tea.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

Small Armenian Mint Hot Tea from Argo Tea

Item Purchased: Small Armenian Mint Hot Tea from Argo Tea
Location Purchased: Argo Tea / 16 W. Randolph / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.25 + tax

Review: I've been meaning to check out Argo Tea's location in the Chicago Loop for quite some time now. I don't make it into the loop much anymore. Usually when I do, it is to meet someone at a mutually easy-to-get-to location. This location ends up being the Borders Bookstore on State & Randolph most of the time, which is how I came to find out about Argo Tea. I was standing outside of Borders waiting for a friend and began to pace as I usually do. While pacing westward, I happened upon this dual-level mod tea shop and noticed that they offered free wireless for their customers. Which is exactly why I head over there this morning before having to go to work in the Sears Tower.

This tea offers a stronger mint flavor than most peppermint teas I buy elsewhere. I'm not sure of the tea leaf origins or the specific blend of leaves, or what even makes this tea Armenian, but the menthol scent and smooth mint taste makes me happy I decided to get a cup this morning. The price is a bit high, leaving me to hope that the word Armenian in the name means that this tea was passed down from an actual Armenian recipe and not just a catchy name given to some otherwise cheap mint tea to make it sound fancy.

Argo Tea is a surprisingly relaxing spot to grab a cup of coffee or tea and just relax, for being in the loop. If I ever need to meet someone at an easy-to-get-to location in the near future, this place will be on the top of my list.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Jan. 24th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Medium Dunkin' Donuts Coffee (Cream & Sugar)
Review: (LINK)

Diamond Of California Chopped Walnuts (8 oz.)

Item Purchased: Diamond Of California Chopped Walnuts (8 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.50 + tax

Review: Technically, I have already reviewed these walnuts. The only difference is that last time I bought Diamond of California walnuts, they were only shelled and not chopped. Different strokes for different recipes. If you'd like to read the full review, why not follow this link?

You may ask why all these ingredients, Kevin? Why spend nearly $35.00 on one dinner dish? Well, the answer is that it saves money. I know, I sound like my mother when she says she saves money by using coupons (despite the fact that she would never buy the couponed item if she didn't have the coupon), but hear me out. I spend nearly $50 during the work week on lunch. Since my girlfriend and I have decided to spend a night a week (if our schedule allows for it) cooking together, this has prompted me to also cook simple dishes in advance for my work week. So, yes, I have to lug a tupperware container with me to work every day, but at least I am not paying nearly $10 for a crappy sandwich from Quiznos four-to-five times a week. I make some pasta, load it with spices and sauce, pack it up in containers and line the fridge with them (it provides a nice visual contrast to the cheap beer lining the bottom shelf anyway).

Want to save some money? Why not try spending one night a week with a friend, family member or loved one where you surprise each other with a home cooked dish and stick to an equally home-cooked (though not quite as fancy) dish for the rest of the work week? If you are not the cooking type(s), go out to a moderate restaurant or even order some delivery or carry out. The shared time and cooking experience will be much more valuable than the 5 sandwiches a week that some guy in a hair net makes for you.

P.S. Last time I cooked with Michaelia, I posted a step by step recipe. If anyone wants me to do that again for this couscous dish, drop me a line, or simply purchase 15-minute Vegetarian Recipes from Amazon.com. That's where I got the idea for this one (page 126 152). I've modified it a bit, but all of the basic ideas are there. It's a great cookbook for the busy vegetarian who doesn't have a lot of time to prepare their favorite foods.

Rating: 3.25 / 5

Buy Diamond Of California Chopped Walnuts from Amazon.com: Consume
Image from Amazon.com

Herbal Garden Basil (3/4 oz.)

Item Purchased: Herbal Garden Basil (3/4 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.29 + tax

Review: The basil and other spices in Jewel are much like the lemons and other produce: not the freshest, yet not the worst. Many of the whole-leaf spices have brown spots on them and I had to dig for a while through these slender plastic containers to find the one with the least spots on the basil leaves. Despite the cosmetic blemishes, this basil smells fresh and looks crisp enough to make the "fine chopping" I need to do tomorrow night a cinch.

Rating: 3 / 5

Athenos Natural Crumbled Feta Cheese (4 oz.)

Item Purchased: Athenos Natural Crumbled Feta Cheese (4 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.29 + tax

Review: Pre-packaged, pre-crumbled feta cheese? I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that I am some kind of heathen when it comes to the gospel of dairy. You are thinking that I should know better since I am originally from the land of cheese and beer, Wisconsin. You are probably also thinking that hey, pre-packaged, pre-crumbled feta is still worlds better than the crappy American cheese you have on your refrigerator door. You'd be absolutely correct on that last account. I know. I was expecting some dry and pasty Feta taste from this purchase too, but to my surprise, the chunks and crumbles of feta in this small plastic container still contains some moistness and has the strong feta flavor with just a hint of bitterness that I have grown to love. It was hard not to eat the entire container of cheese tonight while I wrote these reviews.

Rating: 4 / 5

Buy Athenos Natural Crumbled Feta Cheese from Amazon.com: Consume
Image from Amazon.com

Krinos Kalamata Olives (8 oz.)

Item Purchased: Krinos Kalamata Olives (8 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.99 + tax

Review: All of the fresh serve-yourself olives available at jewel looked like baby toes after a long bath. Wrinkled to hell and soggy! So, after a bit of digging around, I found this pre-packaged container of Kalamatas that looked as if they had just been picked from the branch before it was given away in an act of goodwill. These olives have smooth skins and a healthy brownish-red color. They come bathed in oil like all good olives should. The only thing that worries me is that the package says that these olives are good until January of 2007. What kind of space-age chemical/vacuum needs to be used in order to preserve plants that long? The package reports that these olives are imported and fresh. How fresh can produce be if it lasts for over a year? Maybe eating these olives will help me to live a longer, oilier life?

Note: My package is smaller than the one pictured.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

Buy some Krinos Kalamata Olives from Amazon.com: Consume
Image from Amazon.com

2 Large Lemons from Jewel

Item Purchased: 2 Large Lemons from Jewel
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $0.90 + tax ($0.45 ea.)

Review: Jewel's lemons always look like they have been rolling down dirt hills like little children. Brown spots and scuff marks a-plenty on the rinds, which makes yielding a lemon zest you can trust a bit more work than it should be. However, what can you expect from a generic grocery chain's produce department? One lemon will give me the zest I need after a bit of grating, but I purchased two lemons because I need some freshly squeezed lemon juice to add to the dish Michaelia and I will be cooking tomorrow night.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

Racconto Extra Virgin Olive Oil (17 fl. oz.)

Item Purchased: Racconto Extra Virgin Olive Oil (17 fl. oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $6.49 + tax

Review: Buying olive oil is a lot like buying wine. It comes in all kinds of crazy bottles and vintages. From 8 oz. up to quarts of the stuff, olive oil can range from a couple of bucks to almost a hundred on the same shelf. Of course, my local Jewel grocery store is no gourmet shop and I can't much tell the difference when I fry up an egg or use it to boil some rice, so naturally, I reach for the most affordable bottle of the stuff. I mean, you don't drink olive oil from a glass or a bottle, so what is the big deal. Are their olive oil sommelier out there somewhere? The Racconto brand of olive oil was affordable and slippery like all good oils should be. So, I bought it. End of story.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

McCormick Black Peppercorn Grinder

Item Purchased: McCormick Black Peppercorn Grinder
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.49 + tax

Review: I feel cheated. I bought this tiny pepper grinder thinking that after I had exhausted the pepper inside, I could refill it with more peppercorn that I would buy in bulk. I didn't notice until later that the label on the outside says to dispose this miniature glass grinder when it is empty. The grinding mechanism is a cheap plastic top that will probably snap if I try and force it off, but when I finally use all of the pepper inside, you can bet I am going to try to hack this otherwise handy little device. Pepper mills have always seemed obnoxiously large to me. If I could find one this size that I could refill for only a couple of bucks, I would buy it up in a second. Regardless of the wasteful, profit-enhancing design of this little contraption, the black pepper inside is strong and the grinder spits out a good mix of fine and coarse pepper pieces.

Rating: 2.5 / 5

Buy a McCormick Peppercorn Grinder from Amazon.com: Consume
Image from Amazon.com

McCormick California Style Crushed Garlic (4.25 oz.)

Item Purchased: McCormick California Style Crushed Garlic (4.25 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.39 + tax

Review: I used to have a garlic press but it got lost in a move a while back. I really need to get one of those things. It's the one kitchen tool that I think everyone needs. If you don't have a pizza cutter, you can use a knife. If you don't have a can opener, you can use a knife again. However, if you don't have a garlic press, a hammer or knife will only get you so far. So, I decided to buy this small jar of crushed garlic, which the label guarantees, was made from fresh garlic.

I'm not really sure what to say when I review something like garlic. It is stinky and no vampires have attacked me yet. So I guess that's good. This fine mush of a condiment looks as if it is ready to be spread on a slice of toast, but I think I will just stick to cooking a couscous dish with it tomorrow night with my girlfriend.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

Buy McCormick Crushed Garlic from Amazon.com: Consume
Image from Amazon.com

2 boxes of Near East Couscous Original Plain Mix (10 oz.)

Item Purchased: 2 boxes of Near East Couscous Original Plain Mix (10 oz.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1224 S. Wabash Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.50 + tax ea.

Review: I have two fundamental questions about couscous. First, if couscous is a pasta, is there a way you can buy it fresh? Second, can someone tell me how one goes about making couscous from scratch? I've only ever seen it dried.

I love couscous. It's like eating mashed potatoes without the mash. Near East packages some fast-cooking, slightly pricey and tasty dried mini pasta balls. I do wish I would get a bit more than 10 oz. after paying 2.50 for a box. I need to find a nice mideastern grocery that sells dried couscous by the pound for cheap. Anyone know of a place?

For now though, Near East brand is my brand of choice. Every time I have previously bought this brand, the couscous has turned out fluffy and light. Add a little butter or salt and you have yourself a meal!

Rating: 3.75 / 5

Buy Near East Couscous from Amazon.com: Consume

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 23rd (Late Edition)

From the Melon Baller Sounds Like Something Dirty! department:

Rex Jory at the Advertiser in Australia argues that we can gauge our consumerism by the crazy contraptions in our kitchens. Things he has in his kitchen include a plastic pineapple corer, a strawberry huller and a metal melon baller. I don't even know what these things are! The most exotic tool in my kitchen is a pepper mill. Who needs all that stuff? If you own any of this stuff, do you actually use it on a regular basis? I'm just curious. I love to cook and prepare food, but I can't think of one single instance where I would need a melon baller in place of a spoon that I already own. (The Advertiser)

Medium Reindeer Blend Coffee from Caribou Coffee

Item Purchased: Medium Reindeer Blend Coffee from Caribou Coffee
Location Purchased: Caribou Coffee / 1328 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.70 + tax

Review: Looks like Caribou is trying to get rid of their Christmas leftovers! Every winter, right before Christmas, Caribou has a countdown to the day they get their first shipment of the Reindeer Blend. The fact that they are still brewing it on January 23rd should raise more than a few red flags.

It's not that it is a bad coffee, but it certainly isn't a great coffee. A bit more acidic than I prefer, Caribou's Reindeer Blend coffee tastes a bit like day-old coffee from my home coffee maker (and yes, I know full well what that tastes like. This doesn't make a coffee bad. Three day old coffee... now that's bad!). It is a medium roast with a heavy feeling to it after it lands in your stomach and the caffeine doesn't seem to last long (though that could have just been from the beer I drank last night).

Christmas is over. I hope the days of Caribou hyping this blend as if it were something special are over too.

Rating: 2 / 5

Consumer News and Links for Jan. 23rd (Mid-Day Edition)

From the Man Eats Car...Burps Sound Like Horn! department:

Rumors are flying around the internet about a new kind of eco-friendly car that the top-level executives at Ford are kicking around ideas for. Though he was a prick, Henry Ford did want to link agriculture and industry in a sustainable relationship and that, according to a news story from The Hindu Business Line, is where this idea stems from. Wow. It only took them a hundred years! Though the plans for making cars out of biodegradable materials only exist in sketches and e-mails at the moment, there is already talk that the restructuring it would take to put these cars into production could close as many as 43 auto plants and cut 25,000 jobs. I'm not sure where I stand on this. I support the move to a more eco-friendly automobile, but if it means that many jobs to be cut, I don't know if I can get behind it. Can't we train the existing employees in waves and make a gradual move toward the new technology? Also, even though the cars could be made from soy-based polymers, there is still no talk about making fully electric cars. These cars would be hybrid gas-electric cars. That's great...but is it that momentous of a leap? (Hindu Business Line)

From the Rap Battles department:

For all of you who laughed your ass off when SNL aired the Lazy Sunday (Chronic-What!-cles of Narnia!) video, three guys from LA have waged a full-out coast war the old school way... with a Rap Battle! Mark, Sam and Adam have shot their own rap video about their "Lazy Monday." They spend a day downtown drinking coffee and painting ceramics at "Color Me Mine." This is hilarious! Not exactly a consumer-based link, but these guys drop a lot of crazy-hilarious literary references and since I work at a bookstore, I have to give them props.

My favorite lyrics?

"Yo Redvines is west coast like Tupac Shakizzler
So step off our licorice, go suck on a Twizzler…"

(NarniaRapBattle) Thanks Lynda!

Spanish Breakfast Burrito from Kristoffer's Cafe

Item Purchased: Spanish Breakfast Burrito from Kristoffer's Cafe
Location Purchased: Kristoffer's Cafe / 1733 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $4.00 + tax

Review: Ahhhh! Another bleary-eyed, but relaxing breakfast at Kristoffer's Cafe. I've been so busy/stressed/lazy lately that I haven't made the time for myself to head down to one of my favorite breakfast spots in Chicago. Finally, though, I got up at the crack of 8:30 today and slowly crawled my way down to Kristoffer's by 10:30.

Kristoffer's Spanish Breakfast Burrito comes plum and stuffed with egg, chorizo sausage, refried beans and cheese. For only $4.00, you get this sizable burrito with some of the best chorizo I've had at a breakfast joint. Unlike most diners' chorizo, it is not greasy or sloppy, but perfectly cooked to a spicy moist. And if the spice from the sausage isn't enough for you, every breakfast burrito from Kristoffer's comes with some of their home-made hot salsa. This stuff is spicy and not too filled with onion flavor like other salsa tends to be. Did I mention it is spicy? It may be my taste buds suffering from the spice, but I swear I also taste a hint of citrus in there somewhere. It is a perfect accompaniment to your burrito...or any egg dish really.

Did I mention, I got a free 12 oz. coffee with my order? Well, I did. Hell yes! $4 for breakfast and coffee? It amazes me that Kristoffer's is not packed with locals every morning. If you are in Chicago, you should help remedy that.

Rating: 4.5 / 5

Jan. 23rd - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Camel Turkish Royal Cigarettes (Hardpack)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Newman's Own Vodka Sauce (26 oz.)
Review: (LINK)

Mostly Updated!

Most of the items I purchased this weekend have been posted to the site and backdated. Everything I have bought today has previously been reviewed on Consumatron.com so I am not going to even list them.

I am DJing an office party tonight (hey, before you snicker...what would you rather do, sit around and make small talk with your co-workers or drink beer and play music you love instead? Thought so!) and taking a day break from the site.

Reviews and news return tomorrow.

1 Laundry Dryer Load

Item Purchased: 1 Laundry Dryer Load
Location Purchased: Josh's Apartment Laundry Room
Price: $1.00

Review: Though I set this dryer load to begin just before Josh and I made our way over to the Empty Bottle Handmade Craft Fair, I am assuming that the timer was correct and set to real earth time unlike the washer. Even so, forty five minutes of high heat on my clothes from this dryer were not enough to dry everything. I will admit that there were some pretty heavy sweaters in my laundry today and I may have made the load a bit too big, but I am used to the huge tumblers at the Laundromat. Fortunately, my work clothes came out dry and I could rush back home to change and go into my restaurant job just in time.

Rating: 3 / 5

1 Laundry Load

Item Purchased: 1 Laundry Load
Location Purchased: Josh's Apartment Laundry Room
Price: $1.00

Review: Instead of sitting in a sterile laundromat today while cleaning my white shirt for work and my undies for everything, I decided to take advantage of my friend's in-house laundry and spend some time hanging out at Josh's place. The washer in Josh's basement gets the job done, but doesn't seem to be able to change temperature settings. Another signifigant problem is the fact that the timer on the washing machine seems to be set on it's own measure of time. Though it said 21 minutes after I inserted my quarters for the wash load, I set a timer on my cell phone and when it went off, the washing machine said that there was still nine minutes left until the load would be finished. Cold laundry and more time out of an already limited amount before I had to be to work? Maybe next time I will stick to the laundromat and meet my friends afterward. Despite the money I saved, convenience plays a large role in reptitive chores such as laundry.

Rating: 2 / 5

Appologies for the lag in updates!

Yes, I know.. I hate it when bloggers act like there are people hanging on to their every post as if it were their dying breath. As if any one blogger is so important that any of you care.

However, I am about to make one of those silly statements.

Thing is, I'm having trouble gaining access to the internet this weekend, but I am still writing the reviews. Hopefully by tomorrow, I will have a new batch of reviews for you, all backdated to the date of purchase.

If you are reading this, thanks for caring. Otherwise, hi Mom! Hi Dad!

That about covers my consistent reader base.

Hope all of you are having a great weekend!

Purchases to be Reviewed on Mediatron

Item Purchased: Movie Rental: The Brothers Grimm
Location Purchased: Movie Time
Price: $4.00
Note: To be reviewed on Mediatron

Vietnamese Coffee

Item Purchased: Vietnamese Coffee
Location Purchased: To-Pho Cafe / 19 N. Wabash / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.00 + tax

Review: Those of you who have been reading Consumatron on a regular basis may have noticed that if there is one thing in the culinary vein of things that I am passionate about, it is coffee. So, whenever there is a form of this black liquid drug for me to try, you can bet your beans I am going to try it.

Vietnamese coffee, as served by To-Pho Cafe is brewed by the cup, rather than by the pot, making it a bold and strong drink. First, you begin with a cup containing a bit of condensed milk at the bottom. Over the top of the cup, you place a metal drip filter with coarse grounds inside and a metal plunger weight atop them. Slowly, you pour hot (almost boiling) water into the top of the filter and patiently wait until the water seeps through the coffee grounds, through the filter bottom and into your cup. This is repeated until your cup is full, yielding an 8 oz cup of black liquid. Since the condensed milk is so dense, you must stir the finished brew with a spoon until the cup is completely mixed. The concoction yields an earthy dark cup of coffee that has a bit of a cocoa taste to it with the slightest hint of sweetness. The end result is what I imagine a mocha to taste like if it were made with half of the usual proportion of milk. Of course, we like our milk, don't we? It brings stars to our eyes and bucks from our billfolds.

Of course, you may know that I usually don't prefer darker coffees, however, this coffee isn't necessarily dark roast, but highly concentrated coffee, like that of espresso. A dense coffee, such as this Vietnamese coffee is a welcome change to my usual morning pick-me-up.

Rating: 4.5 / 5

Vegetarian Pho from To-Pho Cafe

Item Purchased: Vegetarian Pho from To-Pho Cafe
Location Purchased: To Pho Cafe / 19 N. Wabash / Chicago, IL
Price: $10.00 + tax

Review: This dish was purchased for Michaelia after we got out of work early, but I had enough of it to be able to review it sufficiently.

To-Pho Cafe is one of those rare restaurants in Chicago's Loop area that advertises itself as serving ethnic cuisine and actually delivers! Most "ethnic restaurants" in the Loop that I have tried tend to be watered down ethnic knockoffs made for tourists, students and other people who don't care or know the difference. Not so with To-Pho. First of all, To-Pho brews its own soy sauce and broth for their soups as well as offering complimentary appetizers with every order. The menu is small, but ample for carnivores and vegetarians alike. Our waiter, James, is noticeably passionate about food as was apparent by the way he described the chicken, cilantro, lime, sprout appetizer served on a shrimp chip that he offered me. Though To-Pho is a small restaurant tucked away in Wabash Ave's jewelry row, there is room for about twenty parties to sit and dine comfortably. The prices of the entrees are in the mid-range but servings are large and filling. During the lunch hours, To-Pho turns into a counter-style lunch stop where you step up and order your food. When the crowds die down, it becomes time to dine down with a date and a bottle of wine. Though To-Pho doesn't serve liquor, but they are BYOB. The best part? No cork fee and no hidden glass fee. Even if you buy a bottle of two-buck-chuck, the employees of To-Pho make it look fancy by wrapping a napkin around the bottle like a scarf.

The Vegetarian Pho is a bowl of cafe-made vegetarian broth loaded with thin noodles, green beans, broccoli, mushrooms, fried tofu and served with a side of sprouts and lime wedges that you can add at your leisure. Also on a side dish, you are given Hoisin (plum sauce) and some of the spiciest red sauce I have ever had. This meal is fantastic and filling for even the most ravenous carnivore, yet enough to please any taste-seeking vegetarian.

Rating: 4.25 / 5