12 oz. Starbucks Coffee from Potbelly Sandwich Works

Item Purchased: 12 oz. Starbucks Coffee from Potbelly Sandwich Works
Location Purchased: Potbelly Sandwich Works / Midway Airport / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.55 + tax

Review: I had a choice between McDonald's coffee or Starbucks coffee.

"Choice."

Yeah, right.

Potbelly's sandwich works is a great little sandwich shop with locations all over the Chicagoland area. Starbuck's is a decent coffee shop (in the physical sense) with horrible over roasted bitter product and locations all over the Milky Way... Including inside of other establishments' locations. They haven't quite secured their rooty tentacles in this Potbelly's location, but the seeds have been scattered by some sadistic rogue Johnny Coffeeseed. The outer shells of these seeds have started to crack and the Starbucks green is showing. This is apparant, in part, by the coffee sleeves that Potbelly's uses. Though a pale cardboard brown in color, these sleeves boldly proclaim that Potbelly's "proudly" brews Starbucks coffee. I'm proud to say that I am not proud to be drinking it. I am, however, not proud to say that I am a caffeine addict in the worst way.

From my blackened bitter tongue to you, I blow a sloppy overroasted kiss.

Rating: 1 / 5

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Heading to NYC

I'm heading to NYC today. Purchases will be documented and I'll play catch-up on the reviews when I get back.

If you wanna help me out, head over to The Consumatron Minute and suggest some places for me to check out during my short stay.

Thanks for reading!

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Green Onion Bundle from Dominick's

Item Purchased: Green Onion Bundle from Dominick's
Location Purchased: Dominick's / 3145 S. Ashland / Chicago, IL
Price: $0.79 + tax
Purchased on: 01/27/07

Review: To the extended disappointment of many of my friends, I use green onions/scallions in just about every dish I come up with. I love the things. Maybe it is a leftover habit from working in a Chinese restaurant for so long. The floral and spicy flavor these shoots add are just what most dishes need to make them pop.

Dominick's green onion section is usually low on stock when I go grocery shopping. I can't figure out if this is because winter is the only season that these dirt dwellers don't grow very well or if it is simply because Dominick's stock is so good.

I think I'll stick with the former. These are good, but not the best I've had. For instance, I had to vigorously wash my mouth out with water after taking this picture because of the bitter flavor that was left.

It is precisely that subtle bitter flavor that tastes so good when cooked and mixed with other foods, but these scallions could stand to be a bit more subtle.

Rating: 3 / 5

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Jan. 30th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Small Costa Rica Coffee from Caribou Coffee / Haircut from Great Clips (Leti) (just a trim this time... too cold for full cut) ]

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Trader Joe's Soy Sauce (17.6 fl. oz.)

Item Purchased: Trader Joe's Soy Sauce (17.6 fl. oz.)
Location Purchased: Trader Joe's / 1840 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.99 + tax (01/23/07)

Review: This huge bottle of soy sauce is a bargain for only $3.00. Since my girlfriend and I cook with tofu and other protein cakes made from soybeans, I tend to use soy sauce often. Not in large quantities, mind you, but quite often. Just a little dab of soy sauce here or there can make a world of difference in a tofu dish. Think of the difference between a White Castle Slider and a T-Bone steak from Morton's. There is more to it, of course, but soy sauce is important.

You don't want that sickly sweet sauce that you find in most grocery stores that is made for western tastes. Sure, it's salty, but it almost makes your bowl of rice taste like candy.

What you want, is your soy sauce to have a bite that balances delicately on the fence between spicy and bitter. That's exactly what this soy sauce offers you.

It's also low in sodium, which I didn't even notice until I got home. loses a few fractions of a point for that... I'd rather have had the full flavor regular style.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

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2 Trader Joe's Organic Black Beans (15 oz. cans)

Item Purchased: 2 Trader Joe's Organic Black Beans (15 oz. cans)
Location Purchased: Trader Joe's / 1840 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $0.99/ea. + tax (01/23/07)

Review: To be completely honest, I can't tell the difference between these beans and the regular Trader Joe's black beans. I suppose it comes down to trusting the label "organic" or fishing around in my pocket to see how much bean change I have left.

These beans taste fantastic, are not mushy like many canned beans end up and fry up nicely. The only difference I noticed was that this can of beans did give me more gas than the average can of beans. My girlfriend tells me that I just need to eat more to get my body used to it. Well... as long as she can stand me, I'll keep eating these delicious and affordable legumes.

Rating: 4 / 5

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Jan. 29th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Small Colombia Blend Coffee from Caribou Coffee ]

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Busy Weekend. Reviews Later. For Now... A Trailer

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Jan. 28th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Lentil Soup from Sultan's Market (Cup) ($3.00) / 2 Falafel Sandwich from Sultan's Market ($3.00 ea.) / Coca-Cola Classic Soft Drink (12 oz. can) from Sultan's Market ($1.00) ]

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Procedural Changes at Consumatron.com

In case some of you aren't aware.

Consumatron (.com and .net) is a one man job with collaborative tendencies. All of the posts that you see on these sites are written/filmed by yours truly. That one man sometimes feels like several men. The writer me reviews the purchases that the editor me makes. The photographer me collaborates with the writer me to spruce up each post. The videographer me works with the reporter me and the actor me to produce the new Consumatron Minute. The copy editor me works closely with the layout me to make sure everything looks right and that the site's template is spitting the information at you in a manner that makes the spit seem like sprinkler water on a hot summer day. Finally, the editor-in-chief (who is quite the anal retentive one) makes sure that absolutely every purchase is reviewed and posted to the site in a timely fashion.

Our office is a cramped one, causing blow-out fights and some severely disastrous and drunken office parties, sometimes. Mostly, we get along. Our daily meetings are brief, and we tend to speak casually over coffee.

After over a year of a nearly perfect record, I've been able to convince the editor in chief me to cut the rest of us some slack.

From now on, purchases will be reviewed when consumed. This doesn't seem like much of a change, but it is a world of difference to some of the employees here who have their hands in several of the operations all at once. All this means is that if editor me buys a can of black beans from Trader Joe's (like he did a few days ago), the rest of us are no longer obligated to have black bean stew for dinner that evening. We will record the purchase and keep it on a list of articles to be published, but that article may not be written until photographer me gets hungry and decides to crack the can open later in the week.

If a review is published about a product that was not purchased on that very same day, a "Purchased on:" tag will appear in that review. (see example). This slightly less demanding way of doing things will allow for a few benefits:

1. Reviews of products may be published on Buy Nothing Days, thus keeping the site mobile for those of you who can't wait to read the next thrilling review of everyday consumables.

2. More time will be available for the respective mes to work on the newly launched Consumatron Minute, thus providing you with the best minute we can muster.

3. More time will be available to work on reviews for Mediatron.

4. We will not cause serious health risks by forcing ourselves to eat every last thing editor me purchased while at the grocery store.

We hope this change in procedure will not be too jarring to our readers/viewers. Please direct any comments or questions to the ornery temp secretary me working at the front desk. (We're not too sure how long he's gonna last).

Thank You For Your Continued Readership,
-Publisher Me

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Jan. 27th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ El Ranchero Tortilla Chips w/salt (14 oz. bag) / Herdez Medium Salsa Casera (16 oz.) / O Organics Crunchy Peanut Butter / Dominick's Butter Quarters Sticks (1 lb.) / Omega 3 Brown Eggs from Vegetarian Chickens /Brownberry Whole Grain Classics 12 Grain Bread (24 oz. loaf) / 3 Limes from Dominick's ($0.99) / 3 Organic Lemon from Dominick's ($2.97) / $5.00 Voluntary Microsponsorship of The Show with Ze Frank ]

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Lunch Special (Create A Lunch) from Kohan

Item Purchased: Lunch Special (Create A Lunch) from Kohan
Location Purchased: Kohan Japanese Restaurant / 730 W. Maxwell St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $7.95 + tax

Review: Kohan has a sushi roll on their menu that goes by the name of "Awesome Sushi." I want so badly to try it, but these winter months are tough on the pocketbook, what with the gas bills and whatnot, so perhaps some other time. For now, the Tuesday and Thursday build-it-yourself lunch special will do me just fine.

Though fresh, tasty and expertly prepared, the combination of shrimp, tofu, noodles, sprouts, pea pods, and peppers I chose this week was not quite as good as the last time I purchased Kohan's special.

All of the ingredients were fresh and I hate to come down on a dish prepared by one of the friendliest restaurant staffs in Chicago, but I just couldn't get down with Kohan's peanut sauce or baby shrimp. To be fair, the waitress warned me that the shrimp was "the small kind." I appreciate that kind of forthright honesty from someone who is taking my money. It means that I will let them take my money many more times in the days to come. The peanut sauce, however, tasted a bit watery and though it's spiciness was ample, there was no significant flavor to back it up.

I will be back to Kohan again in the very near future. They do good work. I just need to realize that shrimp is something worth paying for and Japanese food is not usually known for its peanut flavor.

The tofu in this dish, however... It is absolutely fantastic!

Rating: 2.75 / 5

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Jan. 25th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Caribou-Blend Coffee from Caribou Coffee / Small Hazlenut Gelato from Massa ]

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Small Roastmaster's Reserve (Changaimina) Coffe from Caribou Coffee

Item Purchased: Small Roastmaster's Reserve (Changaimina) Coffe from Caribou Coffee
Location Purchased: Caribou Coffee / 1328 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.55 + tax

Review: Holy crap! A Caribou coffee blend I've never tried before?! Can it be true?

This particular roast is a light/medium roast that hails from Ecuador (which reminds me... Saskya, if you are reading this, send me your e-mail address!). The coffee has a flavor similar to Caribou's Colombian blend with a steady coffee flavor. What makes this blend so special is the peppery bite to it. On first taste, it may seem as if the coffee is a bit too acidic, but the bite of the coffee lasts throughout without lingering in your mouth like a swallowed penny (coughsbuxcough). The exotic spice is just what I am looking for in an average cup of daily coffee. Caribou's Changaimina delivers...but only for a few months, since this is their specialty winter blend.

I may just have to pay the stupidly expensive price for a pound of this stuff before it disappears.

Rating: 4.5 / 5

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2 Lightlife Three Grain Organic Tempeh (8 oz.)

Item Purchased: 2 Lightlife Three Grain Organic Tempeh (8 oz.)
Location Purchased: Trader Joe's / 1840 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.69/ea. + tax
Purchased on: 01/23/07

Review: If tofu is a vegetarian's staple, then tempeh is a nail gun. Tempeh has enough substance and natural flavor that it is much more likely to be the food that will make a stubborn carnivore stop ridiculing you for hugging cows and eating plants. Made from whole soybeans that are soaked and partially cooked then fermented, tempeh takes the form of a dense and solid brick. Often mixed with varying other beans and whole grains, tempeh often has a nutty rich flavor before it is even cooked.

Unlike Tofu, tempeh's natural firmness makes it much more manageable, yet it is still absorbant enough to fare exceptionally well with a marinade. Its firmness also allows for thinner slicing (I've heard of people making tempeh bacon), easy sandwich construction and finger food accessibility.

$1.69 for eight oz. of tempeh is a price that cannot be beat in Chicago (prove me wrong... I'm cheap) and the nutty flavor of Lightlife's three grain is some of the best store-bought tempeh I have tried. Tonight, I'm making Fajitas with the recipe to be found on the inside of each package.

Rating: 4.5 / 5

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Trader Joe's Limes (bag of 6)

Item Purchased: Trader Joe's Limes (bag of 6)
Location Purchased: Trader Joe's / 1840 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $0.99 + tax
Purchased On: 01/23/07

Review: The good thing about Trader Joe's produce is the freshness and the price. To put it plainly... they're fresh and affordable. The bad thing about Trader Joe's produce is that most of it must be bought in bulk. Of course, this isn't so bad if you cook regularly like me.

TJ's limes, in particular are a bit on the small side. They would be perfect if I were a bit Corona drinker, but some of you already know how I feel about that sorry excuse for a beer. As it stands, these limes are great for that little squeeze of juice you might use as a garnish, but if you are looking to get a cup full for a recipe, skip Trader Joe's and head for the next corner store. Or, I suppose you could just buy two bags and do a bit more squeezing. It would probably still save you a significant amount of money.

Rating: 4.5 / 5

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Jan. 24th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Smoked Turkey Pita Sandwich from 7-Eleven / Snyder's Sourdough Nibblers (small bag) ]

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6 pk. Oranjeboom Premium Lager (16 oz. cans)

Item Purchased: 6 pk. Oranjeboom Premium Lager (16 oz. cans)
Location Purchased: Trader Joe's / 1840 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.99 + tax

Review: Recommended to me by a friend as "watery swill" that tastes like the beer he used to like in London, I jumped at the chance to try Oranjeboom. "Watery swill" isn't the most glowing of reviews, but I like to keep my beer snobbery at a minimum and have to keep in touch with the real people. (Hell, I come from the land of Miller, after all)

Though Oranjeboom's name suggest something extraordinary, I'd like to propose the tagline, "every country needs a PBR!" Much like my proletariat potable of choice, this beer is a pale golden lager that tastes best when chugged directly from the can or bottle. Though most English speaking drunks... er... cold coffee connoisseurs may expect the "Oranje" in the name to suggest an orange flavor, it in fact does not. Oranjeboom is simply a satisfying Dutch pale lager with a bit more of a bite than PBR or Old Style and the cleanest finish of the three.

If it were a bit less expensive than $5.99, I might consider buying this beer as a staple in my refrigerator. As it stands, I may just have to save it for special occasions... Like Fridays.

Thanks to Mark Day for the recommendation... Check out his videoblog... The guy is way funnier than you are!

Rating: 4.25 / 5

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Trader Joe's Indian Fare Palak Paneer (10.5 oz.)

Item Purchased: Trader Joe's Indian Fare Palak Paneer (10.5 oz.)
Location Purchased: Trader Joe's / 1840 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.99 + tax

Review: Palak Paneer is one of my favorite (and one of the most ubiquitous) dishes in Indian cuisine. I don't usually like to go the convenience route with a dish I enjoy so much, but while browsing the aisles at Trader Joe's I just couldn't resist.

Palak Paneer looks like a leftover fluid prop from The Exorcist, but don't let that turn you off. The pea-colored viscous stew in Palak Paneer is a mixture of pressure cooked spinach, garam masala, garlic, ginger, green chili paste and a handful of other spices. The cubed chunks are a form of mild unaged cheese (no rennet used in its making, for those of you who are strict vegetarians) called Paneer. The dish can range from mild to hold-on-to-your-hats spicy. I prefer the latter.

I didn't expect much from this modest and inexpensive box of pre-made palak paneer. It has been so long since I have had Indian food, that I would have been happy with something resembling it the way Chef Boyardee foods resemble fresh pasta.

To my surprise, this boil-in-bag convenience food was not only moderate in flavor, but extreme in spiciness. Despite all of the reaching for my water glass that eating this stuff caused me to partake in, the mild-but-competent flavor was still present and somewhat impressive.

Though nowhere near the quality of flavor that one can get on Devon Ave. here in Chicago, Trader Joe's Palak Paneer is a convenience product I can get my taste buds behind.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

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Trader Joe's Organic Basmati Rice (32 oz. bag)

Item Purchased: Trader Joe's Organic Basmati Rice (32 oz. bag)
Location Purchased: Trader Joe's / 1840 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.99 + tax (01/23/07)

Review: Maybe I was just really hungry, but this rice actually smelled amazing while I was cooking it! Most rice doesn't impress me nasally (basmati or not), but this particular batch lived up to it's name completely. Basmati literally translates as "Queen of Fragrance," ya know.

The taste, on the other hand, is nothing but bland grain taste. And this is fine. As a fairly priced organic basmati, this rice serves as a base to any dish you might cook up. It cooks quick, comes out tender and retains a slight stickiness which comes in handy when you eat rice dishes with chopsticks as often as I like to. I've paid upwards of seven dollars for a two pound bag of inorganic basmati before. Remind me to stock up the next time I am at TJ's.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

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Trader Jose's Handmade Whole Wheat Tortillas (15 oz.)

Item Purchased: Trader Jose's Handmade Whole Wheat Tortillas (15 oz.)
Location Purchased: Trader Joe's / 1840 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.49 + tax (01/23/07)

Review: Very few tortillas can be enjoyed as a snack by themselves. Usually you need some kind of filling or topping (if not an entire meal) inside of tortillas to make them count as something edible. To my surprise, I found myself happily chewing on one of these tasty food wrappers today at work when I found myself getting hungry.

Since they are hand-flattened, these tortillas are thicker than most others and have a slightly bumpy texture that makes any dish you prepare with them large enough to satisfy most. They are made with honey and have a slightly sweet flavor, which would make them the perfect wrapper for ham or turkey. At two fifty, these tortillas are a bit more expensive than most, but the comforting thought is that the extra money is going toward a laborer somewhere in Massachusetts who spends eight hours of her day flattening whole wheat bread just so you can have a tasty burrito. It's probalby not an entirely true thought, but it is comforting nonetheless.

Rating: / 5

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Trader Joe's Tandori Chicken Wrap

Item Purchased: Trader Joe's Tandori Chicken Wrap
Location Purchased: Trader Joe's / 1840 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.69 + tax

Review: I almost didn't buy this wrap today because of the seemingly high price. My girlfriend then wisely pointed out that I have spent just as much on a substandard sandwich from 7-Eleven more times than I would like to admit.

Sold!

Get this woman a vacation, because the paltry three bucks and change I spent on this burrito almost seems as if it isn't enough. The meal-sized fist food is expertly wrapped in a tomato tortilla, stuffed with more chicken and carrots than you'd get in a convenience store salad and mixed together with a mild cucumber sauce. The chicken isn't as spicy as something with the word 'tandori' in its name should be, but the ingredients are fresh, filling and a hell of a lot better for me than the gristly turkey I usually eat on my budget lunch days.

If only Trader Joe's and 7-Eleven would exchange their ubiquity with each other, the world (and my stomach) would be a happier place.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

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Jan. 23rd - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Trader Ming's (Joe's) Ginger Peanut Noodle Salad (10 oz.) / 2 Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Bars (3 - 1.75 oz. bars) / 2 Trader Joe's Organic Tomato Paste (6 oz.) ]

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Double Stuffed Turkey Sandwich from 7-Eleven

Item Purchased: Double Stuffed Turkey Sandwich from 7-Eleven
Location Purchased: 7-Eleven / 1350 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.59 + tax

Review: Much like the 7-Eleven Smoked Turkey & Jack Cheese Sandwich I have eaten more times than I would like to admit, this sandwich boasts whole wheat bread and a lot of turkey. As an added bonus, there is no turning lettuce drooped on top of the fixin's. Since it was nowhere to be found in the product description, I also thought there was no mayonnaise on this sandwich. Unfortunately, squeezed between the off-yellow (almost beige) cheese product and the mounds of deli sliced turkey, there was a bit of normal 'naise. Yuck.

7-Eleven has packets of ketchup, packets of mustard, packets of relish... and packets of mayonnaise at their condiment bar. Why can't they just leave the damn stuff off of their sandwiches? Not everyone likes egg yolk gunk on their sandwiches. (of course, if I had it my way, they could leave off that disgusting cheese-like-substance too).

I'm nitpicking though. This sandwich is mostly bread and turkey. For a budget lunch, this isn't too bad.

Just be sure to grab a handful of mustard packets on your way out.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

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Introducing... The Consumatron Minute!

New year, new projects!

For some ungodly reason that stems from some sort of creative anxiety, I've started a videoblog over on Consumatron.net.

Called 'The Consumatron Minute,' the ground rules are such:

1. Each videoblog will be one minute long. Sixty seconds... No more. No less.

That's really all I have so far. One rule from which I will be experimenting and, hopefully, collaborating and communicating with you all. I'm planning on doing a minute every weekday, but we'll see how that goes. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Oh, and about that buzzing in the audio... A new camera is on its way. I just felt the need to jump in and start. Working with what you have is the mark of a true artist anyway... right? (and comments like that are the mark of a true douche bag)

Without any further word jazz... here's the first episode... It's a rocky start, but it's a start nonetheless. Head on over to Consumatron.net and let me know what you think.

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From the That New Old-Time Religion department:

The Chicago Bears are going to the Super Bowl! I realize that I can be ostracized for saying something like this, but... I don't really care. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the occasional football game and can admire it for the competition it is, but I just can't get behind the neo-tribalism and arbitrary territorialism of sports fans. I've seen drunken beat-downs in the street outside of my old apartment (located a couple of blocks from Soldier Field) that stemmed from fan rivalry. Rex Grossman represents me about as much as you can smoke Magritte's pipe. I'm not criticizing sports, teams or a person's enjoyment of them. Athlete's abilities and dedication to a game is something to be admired. I'm simply baffled by the level of importance that professional sports holds in our society.

How important is the Super Bowl to Chicagoans? The Chicago Tribune reports that it may just be worth $10,000. I'll watch it at a friend's house and spend the $9,900 I save on something else, thank you very much.

(Chicago Tribune)

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Jan. 22nd - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Costa Rica Coffee from Caribou Coffee (travel mug refill) ($1.50) / 7-Eleven English Muffin w/Sausage, Egg & Cheese Breakfast Sandwich / Snyder's Sourdough Nibblers (small bag) ]

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Jan. 21st - Buy Nothing Day (unintentional)

I had some leftovers this morning and about a pot of coffee all to myself. What more could a guy ask for? How about a dinner at Francesca's Forno, courtesy of my amazing girlfriend? Hope you all had a good weekend.

New horizons tomorrow.

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Whole Bean Costa Rica Coffee from Bridgeport Coffee House (1 lb. bag)

Item Purchased: Whole Bean Costa Rica Coffee from Bridgeport Coffee House (1 lb. bag)
Location Purchased: Bridgeport Coffee House / 3101 S. Morgan St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $10.00 + tax

Review: During the week, I make myself a cup of Greek coffee. A single serving (actually, a double) for the morning crunch before I have to be at work is good enough for me. For those lazy weekends, when I lay around the house trying to convince myself to wash the dishes and do laundry, I like to have a full pot brewing. By mid-day, I'm as wired as a Google server. Unable to hold a dish, let alone wash it, not much in the way of chores gets done, but damn if I don't get something creative out of the cobwebby nooks of my consciousness.

Bridgeport Coffee House is the perfect place to stock up on brain cleaning seeds. Their coffees are locally roasted, not too dark and more affordable than the more recognizable names in the legalized drug market.

The Costa Rica blend from BPCH is a medium roast that drinks like a light. Inner flavors of the coffee bean become full and bloom in your mouth. The slight earthiness reminds you that you are drinking coffee while the smooth and crisp finish prepare your palette for another cup. A perfect coffee with a midrange price for a perfect guy with a midrange... uh... nope... can't tie that one up poetically.

I guess I need another cup.

Rating: 4.5 / 5

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Large 16" Pan Style Pizza w/Pepperoni from Ricobene's

Item Purchased: Large 16" Pan Style Pizza w/Pepperoni from Ricobene's
Location Purchased: Ricobene's Pizzeria / 252 W. 26th St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $16.54 + tax & delivery charge

Review: I spent the day recovering from being sick and didn't leave the house much. Low on dry goods and energy, I decided to do what any red-blooded American would do (no, I didn't use a drive-through). I ordered a pizza. After a flu, this is the equivalent of rubbing dirt on an open wound in attempts to heal it, but I figured, if I could handle this, I could handle anything.

Not only could I handle it, but I found my discerning taste (along with my normal physical taste) coming back to me.

While I love Ricobene's and hold them up to be one of the five best pizzerias in Chicago, I almost called them back to complain. At first glance, I was convinced that they forgot to give me my pepperoni. Maybe it is because I grew up eating the delicacies of Tombstone and Jack's frozen pizzas where the pepperoni is a thick circle of spice bologna-like substance, but the paper-thin and sparsely applied sausage lief that came on this pizza isn't worth the extra $1.75.

I was a bit disappointed, though not discouraged completely. Since I barely ate anything yesterday, I inhaled nearly half of this large pizza and have a bit left for tomorrow morning with my cup of coffee (take that, flu!). The flaky buttery crust and slightly sweet tomato sauce I love was still present but I'll be thinking twice the next time I order out for a pepperoni pizza.

Rating: 3.25 / 5

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From the Would You Like A Light With That? department.

Chicago's Daily Southtown published an article on Thursday, pointing out the hottest consumer fad in this increasingly technological age... The drive-up window. Drive through banks, drive through pharmacies, and now... Drive through tobacco stores. The manager of Cigarette Outlet (located at 58th & Harlem, just in case you happen to be driving by while reading this and want to pick me up a pack of smokes... I'm just too busy to walk down the block to get one) pointed out the convenience of having a drive-through window and said, "What's the point of coming in?"

I have a better question. What's the point of driving to the store to get a pack of cigarettes in Chicago, when you have to walk no farther than 4 blocks from any particular point in the city to find a store that sells them?

Did we make fattest city in America yet? Where's the drive-through gym?

(Daily Southtown)

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Jan. 20th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Coffee from Bridgeport Coffee House / Breakfast Sandwich from Bridgeport Coffee House /$5.00 Voluntary Microsponsorship of The Show with Ze Frank ]

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Jan. 19th - Weekly Buy Nothing Day - Last Cigarette

I wish I could say that I refrained from consumerism today solely because I wanted to take a break from it all. The truth is, I have been wrapped in a blanket and unconscious most of the day due to the ultra hot flu that seems to be so stylin' these days.

I'm not here to complain, though. Because if I did, I'd probably go on for at least a few paragraphs about how I smoked my last cigarette today and how nice it would be to have one with a glass of Scotch right about now ('now' being the moment in time I feel as if I will slip, once again, into sweaty slumber).

I told you at the beginning of the year that there were a few projects in the works here at Consumatron central... Well, one of those projects has been pushed back and will have to wait until a later date, but another project just got pushed up.

Just watch me smoke my last cigarette and I'll try to explain:
Neat huh? I'm not sure how regularly I will update The Consumatron Minute, but I have already shot and edited the first three episodes (I get stuff done between naps when I'm sick...what can I say). First episode airs on Monday. Let me know what you think.

Okay... back to bed.

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Bota-Nice Redskin Spanish Peanuts (4 oz. bag)

Item Purchased: Bota-Nice Redskin Spanish Peanuts (4 oz. bag)
Location Purchased: 7-Eleven / 1350 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.19 + tax

Review: Though not as tasty as Bota-Nice's Japanese Style Peanuts, these will suffice (I don't really have a choice if 7-Eleven isn't going to reorder the Japanese ones, do I?). Using a lot of each of the three ingredients in the peanuts (peanuts, iodized salt and vegetable oil), Bota-Nice knows how to pack a flavorful punch inside of a cellophane bag. Using the who-knows-how-many chemical ingredients in the little packet of hot sauce included with the peanuts, Bota-Nice and La Botanera know how to pack a tangy, slightly spicy punch as well.

Eating Bota-Nice products may have just spoiled me. I used to feel that any peanut product I ate needed more salt. As you can see in the picture, these peanuts have the perfect amount of salt. Now, I feel as if any peanut product I eat needs more hot sauce. Something tells me I should stop wearing so many white T-shirts.

Rating: 4 / 5

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Jan 18th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Small Daybreak Coffee from Caribou (in travel mug, but they still charged me $1.55!) / Soprano Panini Sandwich from Massa ]

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Jan. 17th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Small Daybreak Coffee from Caribou ($1.55) / Smoked Turkey Pita Sandwich from 7-Eleven / Snyder's Sourdough Nibblers (small bag) ]

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2007 New Year's Resolution - Week #3

Oh man! Ninety bucks in the PayPal account (instead of in the pockets of Altria or R.J. Reynolds)!

Only Four cigarettes left!

Make that three!

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Snyder's of Hanover Jalepeno Pretzel Pieces (12 oz. bag)

Item Purchased: Snyder's of Hanover Jalepeno Pretzel Pieces (12 oz. bag)
Location Purchased: 7-Eleven / 1350 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.09 + tax

Review: These things are the Flamin' Hot Cheetos of the pretzel world. The two differences are that you won't see Snyder's bags littering the streets of Chicago on a regular basis and the pretzel dough doesn't dissolve in your mouth like a packing peanut in a spring puddle. If you think about it, these two differences may be intertwined. One may be the cause of the other, or vice versa... But that's beside the point.

What you need to know, is that Snyder's of Hanover Jalepeno Pretzel Pieces take everything that is healthy and sacred about eating pretzels as a snack and throws it out the window of the thirteenth floor of an apartment high-rise. You've got sodium, spice and fatty oils covering the baked goodness, which leads to heartburn and higher cholesterol.

In other words, these things are tastier and healthier than Flamin' Hot Cheetos (FHC). In fact, I would suggest that the aging FHC fan switch to these pretzel pieces in order to add... oh... I don't know... a few weeks on to your life.

Rating: 2.75 / 5

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Jan. 16th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Kaku Bento Box Lunch from Kohan ]

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Jan. 15th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Smoked Turkey Pita Sandwich from 7-Eleven / Small Daybreak Coffee from Caribou ($1.55) / Small Hazlenut Gelato from Massa ]

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Blackened Catfish Fillet with Brown Rice & Smoked Gouda Mac N' Cheese from Handlebar

Item Purchased: Blackened Catfish Fillet with Brown Rice & Smoked Gouda Mac N' Cheese from Handlebar
Location Purchased: Handlebar Bar & Grill / 2311 W. North Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $11.75 + tax

Review: If you are reading this review from inside of Chicago city limits, stop now and get over to 2311 W. North Ave. to try this amazing piece of food yourself! (unless you are at O'Hare, because that ridiculous tendril of the city limits shouldn't really be considered part of Chicago anyway)

Catfish is everywhere in the Midwest. It's one of the few types of fish that you can catch in this area and serve fresh virtually year-round. As with most other foods that are so widely available, there is a lot of poorly prepared catfish to be had in this city. I suppose the fact that Handlebar's menu is pescetarian gives them a slightly better chance of being competent seafood cooks, but even that is no sure bet. Take a chance, however, and you will find this blackened catfish dish to be one of the better fish dishes to be found in the city. Not only is the fish itself of solid texture and consistency, but the combination of flavors used to prepare it are worthy of any four star restaurant.

Served without lemon or sauce to accompany it, this confident charred fillet has a slight citrus flavor cooked into it, a fragile smoky crust and a barbecued spiciness that could put most grilled land animal flesh to shame. Instead of dissolving to much in your mouth as most catfish does, the texture remains and you find yourself chewing something substantial and worth far more than its price tag.

The entree comes with two side dishes of your choice. Because fish usually doesn't fill me up, I chose the carb-full brown rice and Handlebar's specialty... Smoked Gouda macaroni and cheese which, for me, is a prerequisite for eating here. Though I finished everything on my plate, I could have ordered a lite salad and still walked away clutching my satisfied belly, which was full of flavor and amazement when I walked through the entrance I plan on walking through much more often.

Rating: 4.75 / 5

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Tecate Beer (12 oz. can)

Item Purchased: Tecate Beer (12 oz. can)
Location Purchased: Handlebar Bar & Grill / 2311 W. North Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.50 + tax

Review: Tecate's slogan should be: "Because Corona is gross and Old Style isn't Mexican."

A cheap and pale lager, Tecate is fairly interchangeable with beers such as Old Style or PBR. It has a refreshingly crisp taste and comes in an unmistakeable red and gold can (unlike those other two brands that have the same color scheme). Tecate is also often served with a lime wedge (which most Mexicans don't used in their beer, I'm told) just like Corona. Drinking my beer over a mid-afternoon Sunday meal of blackened catfish, I realized something. I realized that I should add lime to more of the pale lagers I drink. Unlike the off-piss flavor that Corona develops with or without lime, Tecate actually tastes quite good as a citrus drink.

In addition to the great taste, it is worth noting that Tecate was the first beer to introduce the ecologically friendly non-removeable pull-tab on its cans back in 1985, thus reducing lager related pollution and making it much more difficult for the Ronald McDonald House to raise money.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

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Jan. 14th - Unreviewable Purchases

Purchased for my girlfriend:

[ Large Orange Juice from Handlebar Bar & Grill ($4.25) / Black Beans Maduro from Handlebar Bar & Grill ($9.50) ]

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Jan. 13th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Slice of Pepperoni Pizza from Massa Cafe / San Pellegrino Aranciata (11.15 fl. oz. can) from Massa ($1.65) / $5.00 Voluntary Microsponsorship of The Show with Ze Frank ]

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Jan. 12th - Weekly Buy Nothing Day

Worked. Walked. Talked.

I want to start using these Weekly Buy Nothing Days as days of creation as well as reflection.

I suppose the best way to do that is to stop talking about it and ju.....

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Lunch Special (Create A Lunch) from Kohan

Item Purchased: Lunch Special (Create A Lunch) from Kohan
Location Purchased: Kohan Japanese Restaurant / 730 W. Maxwell St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $7.95 + tax

Review: It's hard to believe it, but amidst the cardboard cutout pantomime of Maxwell St, there are still treasures to find. Bypass those plaques and the vaguely demeaning statues of the amalgamated memory of people who used to live, work and hustle on Maxwell St. and you will find Jim's Original. Beyond that, it gets tough. The historic architecture of the area has been covered with pristine facades. The stores that old timer's remember have been torn down, flattened and reduced to ashes of ashes. To catch a deal, you have to head over the highway to Canal St. There's not much left here but co-eds, condos and the type of businesses that come with them.

So, while treasure may be a relative term, you can still hunt around for a lunch-time deal. A hearty meal while you pass through (because, really... what else would you do in this part of town anymore?). You'll pay a damn sight more in cash anywhere other than Jim's, but you might save a few days on your veins. And when you work in the area, like me, lunchtime variety is hard to come by and the thrill of the hunt is all one can cling to without going nuts.

Kohan is a fairly new and fresh addition to my repertoire and probably one of the healthiest choices in the area. A Japanese sushi restaurant is not my income bracket's idea of a filling and affordable lunch, but this is a college campus... There are deals to be found... specials that bet it all on the chance that some student who was given a cheap California roll will bring his doctor parents here for dinner when they visit. Kohan's specials fall on Tuesdays and Thursdays and, though I'm no doctor, I am thinking of coming back for dinner when I have a few extra bucks in my pocket.

For $7.95, Kohan lets you choose one meat (calamari and shrimp are choices), rice or noodle, six fresh vegetables, one sauce and up to five different spices. I was required to fill out a piece of paper with check marks to order my meal. Briefly, my choices were chicken, noodles, bean sprouts, bell pepper, broccoli, pea pods, tofu, and garlic with teriyaki sauce. Don't pay too much attention to what I ordered though. There is a near infinite number of combinations to be made from the choices on Kohan's create-a-lunch menu.

Waiting for my meal to be created, I expected a cup-a-ramen size entree. Instead, I received a huge and heavy brick of the freshest vegetables, perfectly fried tofu and tender chicken all soaked in garlic and teryiaki. Quite simply, it is amazing that this only costs eight dollars.

So, if you find yourself near the new Maxwell St., please accept my empathy. After that business is over with, you should stop in Kohan and give them some of your business. I can't hold a business owner at fault for trying to succeed in an up-and-coming neighborhood. Especially if they are good at what they do... And Kohan most certainly is.

Rating: 4.5 / 5

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Today is National Tax Advice Day

Most consumers dread their yearly taxes. Me? I look forward to them because I always claim "0" on my W-4 form. Though I don't feel all that great about letting the government hanging on to such a large chunk of my money, it has taught me to survive on less and that is an essential skill in this world.

Regardless of whether you are scared or excited, you probably have questions about your taxes. That's why you should take advantage of National Tax Advice Day! H&R Block has all sorts of free information and tools over on their website to help you prepare for April 16th!

(H&R Block)

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Primo Panini from Massa Cafe

Item Purchased: Primo Panini from Massa Cafe

Location Purchased: Massa Italian Cafe / 807 W. Roosevelt Rd. / Chicago, IL
Price: $6.59 + tax

Review: Grilled panini bread. Check. Tender grilled chicken. Check. Crispy bacon. Check. Fresh avocado. Check. Swiss cheese. Check. Warm and soggy lettuce. Che... What the hell?

Everything was going so well with this sandwich until I realized that Massa heated up the lettuce along with everything else, reducing it to the consistency and texture of a re-used tissue. Note to Massa: heating up lettuce is only okay some of the time, but not usually on a sandwich.

Everything else about this sandwich is great. The fresh avocado tastes like a nature made guacamole and the combination of bacon and chicken (strike that... the combination of bacon and anything) makes any sandwich better.

With every sandwich purchase at Massa, you receive a free bag of Vitner's potato chips. Vitner's brand chips are neither here nor there. They taste like any other potato snack product. Their mascot, however, is something to be pondered. Named Vinnie, the Vitner's mascot is on the front of every bag of chips. He is pictured as a cool saxophone player with sunglasses on. Out of the horn of Vinnie's saxophone flow five potato chips. Now, I'm sure Vitner's designer meant for the potato chips to represent musical notes, but I can't help but think of them as something else. See, Vinnie is, himself, an anthropomorphic bag of potato chips. With puffed cheeks and eyes hidden behind his large sunglasses, it looks as if Vinnie is vomiting into his saxophone and spraying his potato innards all over the place. I may have a perverse mind, but my friend Josh views Vitner's Vinnie in the same way, so you can't use this as evidence.

Fortunately, eating Vitner's potato chips doesn't elicit the same response from me.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

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Last Day To Nominate Your Favorite Blogs!

Just a reminder... Today is the last day to nominate your favorite blogs for the 2007 Weblog Awards. The deadline is 10:00 EST tonight, so head on over there and let them know who you think is the best at rambling incoherently online in hopes that someone will read it.

And if you enjoy the hard-hitting... um... opinions on um... 7-Eleven food and um.... Caribou coffee... Yeah, that's it... that Consumatron is known for, show some love!

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Jan. 10th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Caribou-Blend Coffee from Caribou Coffee (travel mug refill - $1.50) ]

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From the Dude... I'm Not Getting Dell department:

Michael S. Dell, of Dell Computers, wants to offset the impact of computer energy consumption on the environment. That's why he's started the "Plant A Tree For Me" program which asks customers to donate $2.00 for every laptop they purchase and $6.00 for every desktop PC. The money will then be donated to two nonprofit organizations that promote ways to reduce or offset carbon emissions and, yes, plant trees. While I commend the desire to clean up the environment, I am confused about the method. Is asking the consumer to voluntarily contribute to this fund really going to help the environment in any significant way? Wouldn't it be easier to raise the price of the machines and donate these amounts with each sale? The prices wouldn't raise significantly and no opportunity would be left open for a penny pinching consumer to deny the environment its fair share.

Dell has done a great job with its free recycling program, but if Mr. Dell truly is "personally interested in the environment," he can do a lot better than simply asking his customers to consider a donation. I worked in non-profit telemarketing for a year and can tell you that this approach is not the best way to secure funding.

(New York Times)

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From the Can You Hear Me...Ah Who Cares... I'm Gonna Watch A Movie department:

Apple announced the new Apple iPhone today. A Cell Phone that can play MP3s just like an iPod (boring), play movies and TV shows (yawn), browse the web (that's sorta cool) and use desktop level applications (okay! I'm listening!). I don't get down with the big A for my computing, but I just might want one of these when they are made available. No word yet on pricing or carriers, but I think I might hang on to my old dinged up LG phone for a little while longer now.

Apple iPhone: Link
Engadget's Live Blogging of the Keynote address made by Steve Jobs this morning: Link

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Jan. 9th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ 18th St. Omelette from Hashbrowns / Bottomless Cup of House Blend Coffee from Hashbrowns / Slice of Pepperoni Pizza from Massa Cafe ]

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2007 New Year's Resolution - Week #2

I have two packs of cigarettes left and already my friends are offering me smokes when we are out together. I'm not exactly sure if that makes them good or bad influences, but in a week or so, I won't care if they are rabid wolves. It will simply make the transition from half a pack a day to a few cigarettes a week that much easier. So to all of the friends and wolves out there... Thanks.

As you can see on the right, I've deposited another $30.00 into the New Year's resolution bank account. In addition to that interest gaining, lung clearing savings, I am already noticing a few more dollars in my pocket every day. It already feels better than that calming inhalation of chemicals into my lungs. I've even been stubbing out my cigarettes early. I'm not sure if it is the minor sickness I am getting over or the psychosomatic result of my realistic resolution, but I think I am beginning to dislike the taste of cigarettes.

I'm sure I'm going to love that last cigarette from my carton, though, as I sip a glass of Scotch and blow my last purchased smoke ring. I'll keep you updated.

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Jan 8th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Smoked Turkey Pita Sandwich from 7-Eleven / Small Fireside Blend Coffee from Caribou ($1.55) ]

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Little Miss Sunshine DVD Rental from Red Box

Item Purchased: Little Miss Sunshine DVD Rental from Red Box
Location Purchased: Red Box / Walgreens / 111 S. Halsted St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.00 + tax

Review: I may review the film, Little Miss Sunshine, in the near future (short story: I enjoyed it... It's worth a view). For now, I'd like to briefly address the phenomenon of DVD rental vending machines.

I'm sure, at first, you will all miss the friendly minimum-wage paid employee at your local video rental store with his infinite wisdom regarding the cinematic oeuvre of such visionary auteurs such as Master P and Carrot Top. The good news? You no longer have to sift through those unique independent films and silly movies where the actors don't even speak English. Instead, Redbox offers a selection of about forty movies that have recently been profiled in such illuminating periodicals as Celebrity Hairstyles and Cellulite of the Rich and Famous.

All sarcasm aside, these machines offer an inexpensive movie rental option, with a few titles that aren't complete crap, but with the increasing availability of video on demand and without the selection of your corner video store, Netflix or even a Blockbuster, I can't see these things surviving much past the introductory stage.

RedBox DVD kiosks do offer two positive features, however. First of all, you don't need a membership. The system operates on credit cards only. Pick your movie, swipe your card and out pops your movie. You have twenty-four hours to return the movie or else another dollar will be charged to your card. After twenty five days, if you have not returned your DVD, it is yours to keep. The second plus is the option to return the movie to any RedBox DVD kiosk across the country.

A fairly good option as a cure to last-minute boredom, RedBox would be a great addition to airports. As it stands, the bulk of RedBox's distribution has been focused on placement in McDonald's restaurants and drug store chains like Walgreens. Great as a novelty, I think I would grow bored with the limited selection RedBox offers and would rather make the extra trip to my local video store or wait for my next Intelliflix/Netflix queue to ship.

Maybe I'm being myopic, but I don't think the wave of video entertainment future lies in vending machines.

Rating: 2.75 / 5

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Reviewed On Mediatron - The Show With Ze Frank

Item Purchased: Voluntary Microsponsorship of The Show with Ze Frank
Location Purchased: http://www.zefrank.com/theshow / http://www.gimmesomecandy.com/zefrank/
Price: $10.00

Review: Is contributing $10.00 to a show I watch and enjoy every day better or worse than spending the same amount or more on a movie? Read the Mediatron review of the Show and you decide!

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Jan 7th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Seitan Ruben from Earwax Cafe ]

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Filete al Ajillo from La Condesa

Item Purchased: Filete al Ajillo from La Condesa
Location Purchased: La Condesa Restaurant / 2230 S. Ashland Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $10.99 + tax

Review: Knowing what I know about the inner workings of the Chicago restaurant industry (a little bit), I savvy myself smart enough to know that any fish entree you pay $10.99 for is most likely frozen and not fresh. I'm no fish snob, but I do believe that fresh is better than frozen and that frozen fish doesn't usually end up tasting exceptional. La Condesa provides an exception to this rule with their Filete al Ajillo.

On this menu, this dish is simply described as a grilled fillet served with special sauce. Not many gringos would take a chance on something like that at an authentic Mexican restaurant, but then again, there aren't many gringos like me.

The grilled fillet is catfish and it comes so smothered in a spicy red sauce that you may think that the waitress brought you a shallow soup instead of fish at all. Don't worry... It's there and it's grilled to perfection. The red sauce has a subtle head, but finishes with a hearty kick that other spicy red sauces could take notes from. If the fish isn't enough to fill you up, the rice, beans and salad will be.

Amidst all of this delicious greatness, you may find it easy to forget to try the best part about a meal at La Condesa... The handmade corn tortillas. Unlike most corn tortillas, La Condesa's handmade wraps have the consistency of Indian naan that has been flattened a bit more thoroughly and flavor unlike anything that would be expected from a dietary staple.

La Condesa, itself, isn't a fancy looking restaurant. In fact, if someone blindfolded you and brought you there, you might think it was a Pizza Hut. Judging by the floor plan and architectural features of the place, I would bet money that the building used to be a Pizza Hut in a past life. Now, La Condesa is one of the best Mexican restaurants in the Pilsen area with friendly waitstaff, live musicians and prices in the mid-range that will seem high until you taste the skillful dishes you receive there.

La Condesa... You may just be seeing a whole lot more of me in the near future!

Rating: 4.5 / 5

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From the Buy Nothing Year Round department:

The associated press has a new year follow up story about a group of San Franciscans who made a pact to refrain from buying new things for a full year. The group calls themselves The Compact, after the Mayflower pilgrims. Some of the members have vowed to do it all again this year after a one day restocking day. The Compact does have some exceptions to their rule such as food, drink and necessary medicine. Necessary cleaning products, socks and underwear are also allowed. All in all, it's a pretty amazing project that I doubt most Americans could even dream of.

(Yahoo News via Michaelia)
see also: The Compact's blog

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2007 Bloggies Nominations Are Open!

The 2007 bloggies are accepting nominations for a plethora of blog categories. I urge you all to head over and nominate your favorites!

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Jan 5th - Weekly Buy Nothing Day

Holy crap! I didn't accrue any debt on my credit cards this holiday season! That's friggin' amazing! Maybe all of those buy nothing days paid off!

Well, today is another one of those days. No spending for me today. Instead, I'm taking stock of what I already have and enjoying the friends around me. No debts incurred.

For those of you who are new to Consumatron, or if you just need a refresher on what Buy Nothing Day is all about, you can read the Adbusters campaign site and think of me as an anti-capitalist pinko or let me give you the explain-it-to-me-like-I'm-a-three-year-old explanation:

I think people place too much emphasis on shopping as leisure activity and compulsive behavior. I believe we can all live on a lot less than we do. I also believe that we all have more than we consciously think we do. Fun is not only predicated by economic activity and amount of toys. Therefore, I like to take a day out and just enjoy what I have around me and see what kind of creativity stems from voluntary resistance.

Today, I will work and walk and read and think. My roommate and I have been discussing recycled art projects like the bowls I made from old records (pictured above). Maybe we will weed through our massive music collection a bit more and see what else we can come up with. What will you do?

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Jan 4th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Half Sandwich (Soprano) and Half Salad (Mandalay) Meal from Massa ]

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Spanakopita Appetizer from Nine Muses

Item Purchased: Spanakopita Appetizer from Nine Muses
Location Purchased: Nine Muses Cafe & Bar / 315 S. Halsted St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.15 + tax

Review: The more I eat in Greektown, the more I realize that there are more ways to make spanakopita than there are dishes at a Greek holiday. Nine Muses' particular recipe ends up looking like most other restaurants' spinach pie (complete with a side of thick French fries), but is actually leaps and bounds above the rest. First, the spinach/cheese mixture inside is finely mixed and set due to the freezing (it's an appetizer... of course it's frozen), but has a pleasant, chewy consistency. Flavors are mixed nicely, and there is a hint of onion flavor to the mix. The highlight, though, is the flavor and consistency of the filo dough. Most other Greek Pita dishes have a somewhat soggy and flaky consistency to their filo. Nine Muses creates a architecturally sound structure around their cheese. It is similar to a large potato ship arch that must be cracked through in order to eat your meal. I, for one, approve. At a little over five dollars, this appetizer is the size of a full meal and entirely worth your time and money.

Nine Muses, itself, is another story. I can't tell if this place is a night club dressing like a restaurant or the other way around. The staff is friendly and accommodating, but expect a side order of annoyingly loud Greek tinted house music with your meal or drink.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

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Mythos Beer (12 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Mythos Beer (12 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Nine Muses Cafe & Bar / 315 S. Halsted St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.38 + tax

Review: Heineken Brewery was founded in 1864 while Mythos Brewery was founded in 1970. Sorry Mythos, but you're about one hundred years too late. Not to knock Heineken (I enjoy Heineken), but if you are going to produce a beer that will be heavily exported to other countries to represent your culture's brewing expertise, why would you simply mimic a normal, run of the mill straw colored pilsner? I can probably name a green bottled beer for each finger and none of them taste all that different. Mild, refreshing and a minor, yet varying, bitterness. Mythos is probably the mildest of all of the greenies I have tried, but by no means is anything special.

The more important question is why all beer that comes in a green bottle happens to be a mild, refreshing beer with mild, yet varying, bitterness? Is there some kind of alcoholic beverage global law that makes this a requirement? If anyone has an answer, please let me know, because I haven't been able to find anything.

The best part about drinking a green bottle beer in Chicago's Greektown on a Wednesday night is that Nine Muses had a half-off special on all drinks. The usual $4-6 dollars you pay for a Heineklone is pretty ridiculous, but at three bucks and change, you can't go wrong.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

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Kaku Bento Box Lunch from Kohan

Item Purchased: Kaku Bento Box Lunch from Kohan
Location Purchased: Kohan Japanese Restaurant / 730 W. Maxwell St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $10.00 + tax

Review: I probably shouldn't be spending so much on lunch right after the holidays, but I don't want to start off '07 by putting crap into my body during lunch time. There's at least 51 more weeks to do that. So, a slightly-more-than-I-would-like-to-pay lunch was in the stars for me again.

That's not to say that this varied and filling lunch isn't worth it, because it is. A bento box from Kohan will get you at least five different offerings in one take-out lunch container. Where to begin?!

Okay... in the order I tasted them. Ready? Go!

First, Kohan's chicken yakitori is glazed and grilled to glossy yumification along with green onion pieces skewered in between the 4-5 chicken chunks on each stick (you get two with this bento box). Next, we have two medium sized goyoza (dumplings, like samosas or peirogis) fried to a crispy consitency and filled with a pork mush seasoned with what tastes like a brown sauce. The cold and limp cucumber salad is surprisingly tasty with its vinegar dressing and chewy bay leaves and cabbage mixed in while the California rolls are a solid average (high point: you receive four... I was expecting two). Finally, if all of this didn't already fill me up, the huge scoop of teriyaki fried rice is so thick and sticky that there is no way I could walk away from this meal hungry.

Whew... In addition to all of that, I also received a cup of miso soup, but was too full to even try it.

While I may not be willing to spend $10.00 on lunch every day, Kohan offers something that no other restaurant in the vicinity of Maxwell Street offers... variety and quality food for one moderate price. The meat and vegetables used are fresh, prepared to perfection and served with a smile that makes you want to stay rather than take your meal back to the office.

In fact, I just may do that tomorrow... I wonder if they have wi-fi.

I know they have sake. :)

Rating: 4.5 / 5

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From the Books Go Digital... Then Go Back department:

CNN Money reports that a company called On Demand Books has developed a $50,000 vending machine called the Espresso. No, this machine doesn't pour you cups of highly concentrated coffee. The Espresso is a print on demand book vending machine. With over 2.5 million books available in its database, a handful of the machines are set to go live in approximately 25 bookstores and libraries later this year. The vending machine can print, align, mill, glue, bind two books simultaneously in less than seven minutes, including full-color laminated covers, and render my resume worthless. I'll bet the machine doesn't have a pretentious attitude or talk down to the customers though! You'll miss that when it's gone!

(CNN Money)

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