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Friday, June 30, 2006

Quick Release from Rapid Transit Cycle Shop

Item Purchased: Quick Release from Rapid Transit Cycle Shop
Location Purchased: Rapid Transit Cycle Shop / 1900 W. North Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.00 w/tax

Review: Dear Chicago Association of Bicycle Thieves,

This letter is a simple missive to ask why. Why would you simply take a quick release from my bicycle's back wheel? I can understand the value of the entire wheel, gears and all, but quick releases are a dime a dozen (okay, actually $60, but that is retail price... you could net $10 at most for a dozen used quick releases). So, once again, why? Is it simply that your bike-stealing black market careers have conditioned you into roving kleptomaniacs, grabbing hold of any spare bike parts you come upon? Or was the individual you sent out to raze my bicycle last night a new recruit? Did he have so much trouble simply lifting the rear end of my bike and sliding the back wheel off that he had to resort to pointless component thievery? Maybe he only had one arm? Regardless, I can't imagine this individual climbing the ranks of your organization too swiftly by simply coming back with handlebar tassels and quick releases. What, exactly, is the logic behind your burglary? Is it to rob from the haves and give to the have nots? I can respect that on a fundamental level. If not, though, then what? Personal gain? Again, this makes no sense. Did you, perhaps intend to unleash chaos on the unsuspecting biking public in Chicago? If so, I am sorry to admit that you came close but failed miserably. In the 5+ miles I biked without a quick release on my rear wheel, it would have been so easy for the frame to come loose from the wheel, catapulting me over my handlebars and into morning traffic on Western Ave. Fortunately for me, this didn't happen. You lose. Fuck you.

Perhaps I should have more thoroughly examined my bicycle in the morning before riding it. Perhaps I shouldn' t have so much faith in the general public (even petty thieves like you) to be at least mildly intelligent. Perhaps. Thank you for making me realize the error in my ways. I am just thankful that it didn't take a trip to the hospital to do so.

Once again, with fondest regards... Fuck You.

Sincerly,
Kevin

--

Dear Employees of Rapid Transit Cycle Shop,

Thank you.

Thank you for not laughing in my face when I asked you if the replacement of a quick release required some sort of alignment. I promise to read Zinn And The Art Of Mountain Bike Maintenance. Thank you for quickly fixing my bike and sending me on my way. Thank you for your affordable prices. Finally, thank you for being one of the best no-nonsense bicycle shops in the city of Chicago. You are truly a staff that believes in biking as a way of life and not a supplier of car roof ornaments. I am forever a fan.

Sincerly,
Kevin

Rating: 4.75 / 5

Thursday, June 29, 2006

From the Let's Prolong The Agony Of Shopping department:

Okay, so let's say you are out and about, picking up some groceries when you decide to swing by your local electronic entertainment supercenter to buy the new Notebook DVD. Your store has it on sale for $19.98, but you have the feeling that you can find it for a much better price. What do you do?

Well, if you have Scan Buy Shopper installed on your cell phone, all you have to do is enter the barcode number and access reviews and online price comparison for the product you are interested in. What?!?! Amazon.com has the DVD for $14.99!?! Thank god for Scan Buy Shopper! Now I will save $4.99. Of course, you spent a few minutes of your cell phone plan looking this up (multiply that by the hundreds of impulse buys you encounter every day) and there is the gas you wasted by coming all the way out to the store without buying anything. So really, that single DVD will cost you approximately $22.00. Way to go Scan Buy Shopper shopper!

I'm all for price comparison and bargain hunting, but using your cellphone as a personal shopper is just going to prolong the already massive amount of time you spend leaning on a shopping cart while you cruise the aisles. Having this new toy in your hand is going to make you want to look up everything with a sale sticker on it. This is probably just some scheme researched by cell phone companies to increase minutes used.

Progress that helps us regress... yay!

(Scan Buy Shopper via Luxist) of course this comes from Luxist... is anyone surprised?

June 29th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Sprecher Dopple Bock (16 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Sprecher Dopple Bock (16 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Otto's Beverage Center / N88 W15413 Main St. / Menomonee Falls, WI
Price: $1.45 + tax (Purchased on 06/18/06)

Review: The Sprecher Dopple Bock is a complex beer. At first I didn't think I liked it. Too bitter. Then, I drank some more and thought that my taste buds were confusing sharp darkness with bitter. Finally, my mouth began deciphering the caramel and sugar flavors deep within this dark amber (light black) beer. I will need to jet up to Wicsonsin again to get a few more of these before I can truly report on all of the flavors wrapped within. This beer reminds me of a dark, malty beer that has been injected with just the right amount of carbonation. The carbonation itself brings out the flavors and makes you sip slowly in attempts to figure out exactly what it is you are tasting.

Not as good as Sprecher's Black Bavarian, but for a darker, full brew, the Dopple Bock is fantastic.

Rating: 4 / 5

Sprecher Mai Bock Beer (16 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Sprecher Mai Bock Beer (16 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Otto's Beverage Center / N88 W15413 Main St. / Menomonee Falls, WI
Price: $1.45 + tax (purchased on 06/18/06)

Review: This beer is as close to an IPA as I will come. A slightly amber bock beer with a healthy malt consistency to even out the equally healthy hops consistency, Sprecher's Mai Bock is a great choice for someone who wants to relax in the summer sun and crack open a lighter tasting beer. It will prevent you from wasting your figure on a case of Miller Lite as well. Since bock beers were traditionally brewed to sustain monks during the fasting season, this will not only refresh, but fill you up after one or two beers. There are two kinds of beer drinkers. There are those who like to gorge themselves on cheap beer and get wasted by the end of the night and there are those who like to enjoy the tastes of different beers and take the edge off after two or three. I fall firmly into the second category. Sprecher's Mai Bock is a great beer to take with me on that fall.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

From the Picking Up Girls On Myspace? I'd Rather Read A Book! department

I have set up an account on the WSJ profiled Librarything.com for Consumatron. It is not something I plan on spending a lot of time on, but a simple place to list all of the books I have reviewed on Mediatron in hopes that people will somehow wind their way to my reviews through this new-fangled social networking thing.

I'm on the fence on whether or not I will be setting up a personal account on Librarything.com. Though it is a handy alternative to attending book club meetings, I do so enjoy the quickly drained bottles of red wine and long chats about which of Jane Austen's characters that I would court.

My Librarything.com profile: Consumatron Reads!

June 28th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

- Bowl of Chili from Quiznos / Chocolate Chip Cookie from Caribou Coffee / Small Daybreak Coffee from Caribou Coffee / Large Mango Iced Tea from Caribou Coffee -

Consumer Notes: There was a publisher rep in the book store today who was nice enough to buy me a sandwich for lunch. The rest of the day I spent trying to figure out why one of the residents of the apartment I had applied for hadn't turned my application over to the landlord. Luckily, the landlord is a very understanding lady who took a substantial amount of time out of her day to work with me and get all of my application information processed. Keep your fingers crossed out there. Though I have enjoyed being homeless for the last month+, I do miss having a base of operations where I can unwind or work more in depth on Mediatron updates.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Goose Island Nut Brown Ale (1 pt. on draft)

Item Purchased: Goose Island Nut Brown Ale (1 pt. on draft)
Location Purchased: Goose Island Brew Pub / 1800 N. Clybourn / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.00 w/tax

Review: Could it be? Another Goose Island beer that I can tolerate? Most Goose Island beer is disgusting because regardless of the initial taste, it still has that awful Goose Island signature aftertaste. I don't know what it is. Maybe they have a special barley that passes through a goose's intestine, like kopi luwak coffee. Maybe Goose Island uses water straight from the Chicago river. Maybe I am just a natural beer snob since I was born and raised in Milwaukee, WI. Whatever it is, I simply don't understand how so many of my Chicago brethren can honestly say that they enjoy Goose Island beer. Of course, I also don't know how they can whole-heartedly get behind a sports team like the Cubs, Bears or Bulls year after losing year.

Goose Island's Nut Brown Ale is one of the few brews from this brewery that doesn't leave your mouth wanting a tooth brush and a Schlitz. It tastes slightly creamy, slightly bitter, slightly dark and extremely refreshing. Unlike most nut brown ales, this ale doesn't leave a bitter hops taste in your mouth and its coffee undertones are mild. Where I can only mildly tolerate Goose Island's Honker's Ale, I have to admit that I really like this beer. It is a bit absurd that the brew pub where this beer is made charges $5.00 a pint, but if I ever see it for sale in the grocery store, I will more than likely pick some up.

Rating: 4 / 5

June 27th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Small La Minita Peaberry Coffee from Caribou Coffee
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Medium Mango Iced Tea from Caribou Coffee
Review: (LINK)

Free Coffee In Chicago Today!

If you read Consumatron on a regular basis, you know how much I like coffee, so when I read this on Chicagoist.com, I felt the need to pass it along to you. Four coffee shops in the Loop are offering free coffees, cappuccinos or lattes in celebration of the new movie I will probably watch when it broadcasts on channel 5 in the year 2012, The Devil Wears Prada.

If you happen to be near any of these places today between the hours of two and four, stop in, wait in line for a half hour, get a cup of caffeine and try explaining to your boss why you took a 45 minute break just to get a cup of coffee.

Participating locations:

Caffe Baci, 231 S. La Salle St., 60604
Caffe Baci, 332 S. Michigan Ave., 60604
Capra’s, 46 S. Clark Street, 60604
Caffe Baci, 225 W. Wacker, 60606

I might just make the bike trip to Capra's, so if you see me there, say "hi." Maybe I'll give you a Consumatron.com button or something.

via Chicagoist.com

Reviewed On Mediatron!




















Reviewed Today on Mediatron!

June 27th - Unreviewable Purchases

Item Purchased: Goose Island Hopscotch Ale (1 pt. on draft)
Location Purchased: Goose Island Brew Pub / 1800 N. Clybourn / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.00 w/tax
Note: Purchased for my girlfriend.

Monday, June 26, 2006

June 26th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Medium Dunkin' Donuts Coffee (Cream & Sugar)
Location: Dunkin' Donuts / Inside the Division Blue Line L Station / Chicago, IL
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Marketfare Bistro to-go Chicken Chipotle Wrap (8 oz.)
Review: (LINK)
Note: I need an apartment and a blender so I can stop eating this crappy (but tasty) food! I want to get back on my diet routine I had about a year ago so I don't continue to pack on winter pounds during summer.

Item Purchased: Planters Salted Peanuts (1.75 oz. tube)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Chocolate Chip Cookie from Caribou Coffee
Review: (LINK)

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Oasis Greek Style Pita Bread (16 oz.)

Item Purchased: Oasis Greek Style Pita Bread (16 oz.)
Location Purchased: Whole Foods / 1640 Chicago Ave. / Evanston, IL
Price: $2.39 + tax

Review: I'm not sure what makes a pita Greek style. Whenever I hear the term "Greek style" I think of something that happens behind closed bedroom doors between two consenting adults. Of course, I have a dirty mind and had a sexually frustrated adolescence, so pay no attention to what I just wrote.

Regardless of the exact nature of this pita bread's development, I will say that the taste and texture of it is pretty great. There are mild scorch marks from whatever oven it was made in, giving it a robust flavor, and they are easily split open to make sandwiches with if you should choose so. Most pitas I buy from the store tend to stick together and can only be used for dipping. Though I primarily used these pita breads for dipping, it is at least comforting to realize that I have options. Maybe that is what "Greek style" refers to... Quality and care. Maybe I should get my mind out of the gutter and respect a culture's culinary tradition rather than make lame jokes about it.

Maybe.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Chef Earl's Jalapeno Hummus (13 oz.)

Item Purchased: Chef Earl's Jalapeno Hummus (13 oz.)
Location Purchased: Whole Foods / 1640 Chicago Ave. / Evanston, IL
Price: $4.99 + tax

Review: I've been a strict roasted red pepper hummus guy, but my girlfriend had me pick up some of this great stuff while I was in the vicinity of Whole Foods today. I'm not sure if I will ever go back. Chef Earl's Jalapeno hummus packs just the right amount of spice with an already great hummus flavor. It leaves your mouth steaming just a little bit so you are forced to go back for more. A bit more expensive than some of the other hummus brands Whole Foods has to offer, Chef Earl's is all natural and all yum, which makes the extra few quarters worth it. Not to mention, it is a family run business that operates right here in Chicago. If there is one consumer practice I support, it is buying locally and supporting your community businesses.

Rating: 4.5 / 5

Apple Cinnamon Bread Loaf

Item Purchased: Apple Cinnamon Bread Loaf
Location Purchased: Wicker Park Farmer's Market / Damen & Schiller / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.00 w/tax

Review: When I lived in the Gold Coast (don't ask me why I did it. I don't know.), the weekly farmer's market on Division and State Street was one of the few bright spots in my dreary life. It was the one time of the week I managed to work out of my sleepy depression, caused by having no money and few friends, and get out of my dismal one-room studio. Talking with the farmers at the booths was so much more interesting than any of my neighbors or the millions of shoppers buying pre-ripped jeans for hundreds of dollars on Rush St. Every weekend, I went home with fresh vegetables, jars of honey, bags of peanuts and handmade peanut butter. It was more than I could afford at the time, but compared to the supermarkets in the area, extremely inexpensive. The small street market kept me fed and was one of the few things that kept me from withering away like a head of lettuce myself. To this day, I hold a very special place in my heart for farmer's markets. The food is fresh, the people who sell you their wares are often the same people who tend the fields and there is just the simple pleasure of an open-air market to set your mind at ease.

Today was the first day of Wicker Park's farmer's market and it will continue through October, every Sunday from 7:00 AM until 2:00 PM. Though it was a dreary overcast day, there was still a show of about seven or eight tents all selling different foods and flowers. I expect there to be more tents as the summer heats up. The tent I decided to stop at was not from a farm at all, but a bakery called Delightful Pastries located on 5927 W. Lawrence Ave. Everything from custards to cakes lay spread on the plywood platform tables, but I settled with something that sounded semi-healthy: Apple Cinnamon Bread. An entire loaf cost me five dollars, and though the bottom of the bread was a bit soggy from internal plastic wrap perspiration and the humidity in the air, the purchase was worth it.

Incredibly moist with a sugared cinnamon glaze on the top, this simple yet tasty loaf of bread is enough to satisfy any morning sweet tooth. There are even recognizable chunks of apple in the bread to add the extra flavor all good fruit based bread needs or just to make you feel as if you are eating something healthy. I enjoyed this loaf of bread so much, I may just have to make a trip out to Chicago's Portage Park neighborhood to try Delightful Pastries' goodies straight from the oven.

Rating: 4 / 5

Goat Cheese Quesadilla from Earwax Cafe

Item Purchased: Goat Cheese Quesadilla from Earwax Cafe
Location Purchased: Earwax Cafe / 1561 N. Milwaukee Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $7.95 + tax

Review: Earwax has done it again by taking a few simple ingredients and mixing them into something so tasty, I am willing to pay $7.95 for it.

Earwax's goat cheese quesadilla is a simple flat quesadilla made with thin flour tortillas, copious amounts of slightly mealy goat cheese spread in between, a healthy sprinkling of fresh yellow corn, just the right amount of scallions and a tingling amount of red peppers to give it that extra zing. The filling order comes with a side of deep green cilantro pesto sauce that I found pleasantly powerful in taste and thick enough to spread over the pizza slice size cuts with a knife.

If you are in the Wicker Park neighborhood and want an alternative to your nightly La Pasadita burrito, try this dish from the uber hip Earwax. Don't forget to thank me.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Ambar Especial Beer (12 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Ambar Especial Beer (12 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Cafe Iberico / 739 N. LaSalle Dr. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.50 + tax

Review: This amber lager from Zaragoza, Spain looks more orange than amber. The taste is that of a light malt with a slightly less light hoppy taste. Not my favorite amber beer, as Ambar (much like all Spanish beers I have tried) has a bitter finish to it. It is a refreshing beer until the bitter (literally) end, however, and at $3.50/bottle for a Spanish import, you can't do too much better.

Rating: 2.75 / 5

June 25th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Seitan Ruben from Earwax Cafe
Review: (LINK)

Saturday, June 24, 2006

June 24th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Haircut from Great Clips
Review: (LINK)
Note: No small talk this time around under the swivel-kinfes... Just clean-cutting business. This I was grateful for since this is the best haircut I've had in a long time. (Whether that is apparent from the picture to the left, I'll leave up to you.)


Item Purchased: Polish Sausages w/Fries from Jim's Original
Review: (LINK)

Friday, June 23, 2006

June 23rd - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Schlitz Beer (12 oz. can)
Review: (LINK)

Thursday, June 22, 2006

June 22nd - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Swiss & Bacon Omelette from LeSabre Restaurant
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Cup of Coffee from LeSabre
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased:7-Eleven Tuna Salad Sandwich
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Cinnamon Chip Scone from Caribou Coffee
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Polish Sausages w/Fries from Jim's Original
Review: (LINK)

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Sprecher Pub Ale Beer (16 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Sprecher Pub Ale Beer (16 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Otto's Beverage Center / N88 W15413 Main St. / Menomonee Falls, WI
Price: $1.45 + tax (purchased on 06/18/06)

Review: After trying Sprecher's Micro Light, it was going to take a lot to make my beery smile light up like a Christmas tree laughing through its three week vacation at Channakuh's workaday life. Well, color me green and red and send me to the Bahamas, because the Pub Ale did its job and got me grinning again.

This medium dark ale has a deep nutty flavor that lingers just long enough for you to appreciate it and want more. There is no bitter aftertaste and the undertones of chocolate and caramel aren't too overwhelming.

You have redeemed yourself, Sprecher. Not that I ever doubted you in the first place.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Reviewed Today on Mediatron!



Mediatron has been a bit neglected lately. Sorry, here's a scrumptious review of last night's Radiohead show in Chicago for all of you to chew on. There is also video of a brand new song courtesy of mattman176 and YouTube.com. Just click on the bear.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Sprecher Micro Light Beer (16 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Sprecher Micro Light Beer (16 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Otto's Beverage Center / N88 W15413 Main St. / Menomonee Falls, WI
Price: $1.45 + tax

Review: It's sad when you have to reduce the quality of your product just to compete with the general public's bad taste. That is just what Sprecher seems to have done with this light beer in order to compete with Milwaukee's other famous light beer, Miller Lite. Unfortunately, this brew from an otherwise excellent brewery tastes like Miller Lite with a bit of pepper or cinnamon added. Blech. Much like Miller Lite, this beer must also be drunk ice cold for fear of the taste of urine.

Even perfection has its bad days.

I love you Sprecher, but this stuff has got to go!

Rating: 1 / 5

June 20th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Miller Lite (bottle)
Location Purchased: Auditorium Theatre / 430 S. Michigan Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.00 w/tax
Review: (LINK)
Note: $5.00 for a Miller Lite? That is what is known as highway robbery where I come from.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Sprecher Abbey Triple Ale (16 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Sprecher Abbey Triple Ale (16 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Otto's Beverage Center / N88 W15413 Main St. / Menomonee Falls, WI
Price: $1.45 + tax (actually purchased on June 18th)

Review: When I went home to Menomonee Falls for Father's Day, I made sure to pick up an assortment of my favorite brewery's beverages to bring back to Chicago. It is nearly impossible to find a liquor store in Chicago that sells Sprecher products, let alone seven different kinds! It is only slightly less impossible to find a bar or restaurant that has any of Sprecher's products in stock. I really don't understand why a city that has a large German Fest, several German restaurants and thousands of German-descended residents doesn't have easy access to this German style brewery's products. I love Chicago, but I'm sorry to say that Milwaukee has one up on you with Sprecher.

Sprecher's Abbey Triple Ale is a deep golden red liquid that goes heavy on the malt, light on the hops and over and above on the flavor. My amateur palette couldn't decipher all of the fruit flavors that hit the buds before the clean oaty beer flavor takes over and only lingers for as long as it is welcome. This, my friends, is a fantastic beer. Though I wouldn't drink a beer as complex as this one every time I needed a cold one, I do so love it and it pains me to think that I only purchased one to bring back to Chicago. If anyone knows where I can buy Sprecher in this city, please let me know.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

El Ranchero Mild Hot Tortilla Chips (14 oz. bag)

Item Purchased: El Ranchero Mild Hot Tortilla Chips (14 oz. bag)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1341 N. Paulina Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.99 + tax

Review: There isn't a sliver of doubt in my mind that El Ranchero makes the finest tortilla chip on this side of the Rio Grande. The variety in the green bags that only have salt are the absolute tops in the tortilla arena. The chips are substantial hunks of baked/fried corn chips with a body to them. It's rare you'll find a broken chip in your dip with El Ranchero, because these chips pack thickness, flavor and crunch into every little fragment.

Though fundamentally the same as the salted variety, the mild hot Ranchero chips don't deliver in the flavor department. Because they are dusted with an extremely weak and almost tasteless amalgam of chili powder and other spices, these chips just annoy me. Even when you get a chip that is packed with the flavor dust, you don't get what you expect. For the most part, these taste like their yellow-bagged brother which come with no salt added. That's fine, but something has to be said for false advertising. These chips are simply mild and not hot at all.

Still, El Ranchero Mild Hot chips are a damn sight better than any other tortilla on the market.

Rating: 3 / 5

French Roast Ritazza Coffee from Vending Machine (10 oz.)

Item Purchased: French Roast Ritazza Coffee from Vending Machine (10 oz.)
Location Purchased: Milwaukee Amtrak Station / 433 West St. Paul Ave. / Milwaukee, WI
Price: $1.00 w/tax

Review: When I was a child, I read a lot of science fiction and watched a lot of Star Trek. Often I wondered when it would be my turn to adopt a British accent and command a machine, "Earl Grey. Hot." We may not be at that point yet, but advances in technology over the last ten or so years have brought us close. This cup of coffee is proof of such advances. The unassuming brown cube tucked away on the far wall of the Milwaukee Amtrak station where only homeless men (which explains why I was there) and snot-dripping, sugar-buzzing children (which explains why I bought my coffee and went back outside) spend any length of time seemed like a normal coffee vending machine. By "normal coffee vending machine" I am referring to the rust cornered Lost In Space robot rejects that have no more than three buttons (coffee, decaf and hot water) and only take quarters like the ones I got my coffee from in college. Oh no, no, no. This machine had more buttons than my computer's keyboard and more flavors than your local Starbucks. With the production of these machines, we won't ever have to outsource careers in the barista sector (though we may outsource the jobs of people who make these machines). In addition to the flavor selection process, you then have three more steps before getting your coffee dispensed. First, you must choose the strength of your coffee on a scale of one to three (three for me). Next, you must choose how much cream you would like in your coffee (one shot for me). Finally, you must choose how many lumps of sugar you would like in your coffee (three please!).

After this fairly lengthy, but simple process, a cup falls from the innards of the machine, the cream and sugar plops into the cup and piping hot coffee follows filling the cup up to the brim.

The coffee itself is average at best, but a damn sight better than the carbon ash swill I used to get from the coffee machine in the film department at UWM. For machine coffee with an unknown, unseen brewing process, you could do much worse.

Now I am certain all of you reading this are going to plan a train ride to Milwaukee to grab a one buck chuck version of coffee from the far wall of the Milwaukee Amtrak station. Enjoy!

Rating: 2.5 / 5

June 19th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Brownberry Whole Grain Classics 12 Grain Bread (24 oz. loaf)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1341 N. Paulina Ave. / Chicago, IL
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Morningstar Farms Grillers Vegan Veggie Burgers (4 ct.)
Location Purchased: Jewel / 1341 N. Paulina Ave. / Chicago, IL
Review: (LINK)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Shrimp and Swordfish Combination Hibachi Dinner from Seigo's

Item Purchased: Shrimp and Swordfish Combination Hibachi Dinner from Seigo's
Location Purchased: Seigo's Japanese Steak House / N64 W23180 Main St. / Sussex, WI
Price: $22.50 + tax

Review: Seigo's Japanese Steak House is a restaurant that offers its guests a show as well as a finely cooked hibachi style dinner. You sit around a low bar-style table with a flat top grill in the center. After a round of drinks and salad from your waitress, your own personal chef takes the stage behind the grill and cooks your food in front of you. Our waitress wasn't close to being Japanese and the chef who cooked our meal was Hispanic, but its the steak that is supposed to be Japanese, not the staff. Regardless of anyone's ethnicity, the service and food was great. Our chef created an onion volcano with a burst of flame that shot up to the ceiling for nearly 30 seconds, flipped knives and food competently, and allowed each person sitting at our table to catch a piece of hibachi shrimp in our mouth (I missed twice... what a waste of good food... I blame myself).

The price of each combination meal is reasonable for great food and grill showmanship. My combination dinner consisted of a bowl of chicken broth soup, a small salad, an appetizer of shrimp, a dinner portion of shrimp, a dinner portion of swordfish, mushrooms, bean sprouts, rice and a small dessert which I passed on.

All of Seigo's meats and vegetables are so fresh that I found myself wondering if we were even in Wisconsin anymore. The shrimp tasted as if it were just caught and the swordfish had a consistency of a fresh tuna steak with a bit more toughness and a bit more flavor. This was my first experience with swordfish and I have decided that I like it. This was a great meal for Father's Day and would be great any time, special occasion or not. Unfortunately, I can't afford a $20 meal too often, so I will have my next swordfish where it is prepared out of sight and allow whatever shortcuts seafood cooks take to happen. If you happen to have a Seigo's near you, I highly recommend the experience though. Moreso than other Japanese steak houses such as Benihana's. The food is just as fresh, the show is just as good and the price is much better.

P.S. As a humorous aside, I have a shirt that features a picture of Japanese author, Natsume Soseki. Underneath his profile, there are Japanese symbols that translate roughly as "I am a pervert." When I put this shirt on this morning, I had no idea that my father was going to choose a Japanese steak house as a dinner destination. I was relieved when I found out that our waitress and chef weren't Japanese and probably wouldn't understand the shirt. I was equally horrified when we sat down directly across from a table where a Japanese family was seated. I spent much of the night trying to keep an arm in front of the Japanese characters on my shirt so as not to offend the elderly and children at the table. I am not sure I succeeded, but no one said anything to me. (shrug)

Rating: 4.5 / 5

Sapporo Premium Beer (12 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Sapporo Premium Beer (12 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Seigo's Japanese Steak House / N64 W23180 Main St. / Sussex, WI
Price: $4.52 + tax

Review: Japanese beer is not my favorite, but I was at a Japanese steak house, so when in Tokyo...

A pale golden beer with an almost fruit flavored bite to it, Sapporo goes down mild and never comes back up. It is a refreshing beer for a hot summer day or a humid and sweaty dinner seated in front of a blazing hot grill and lighthearted knifeplay.


Rating: 3 / 5

Bacon Egg & Cheese Biscuit Meal (with hash browns & coffee) from McDonalds

Item Purchased: Bacon Egg & Cheese Biscuit Meal (with hash browns & coffee) from McDonald's
Location Purchased: McDonald's / Union Station / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.39 + tax

Review: Train station breakfast. What can be said about it? It sucks. It's rushed, it's cheap, it's greasy, it's half eaten in the station, half eaten on the train and half digested by the end of the day. Let me make it plain: I despise McDonald's and everything they stand for. I would rather eat shredded wheat with pickle juice than ingest a single french fry from McDonald's. I would rather fast for forty days and nights than feel the soggy cardboard texture of a McDonald's hamburger between my teeth. I would rather drink powdered milk mixed with tequila than taste the gristle of one of McDonald's shakes.

I do have one weakness though. That weakness is McDonald's breakfasts. I don't eat them often. I am not proud of the times I do. I am virtually trembling as I write this review. If there was ever proof that I review everything I buy here on Consumatron.com (even the embarassing purchases), this review is it.

My name is Kevin and I like McDonald's breakfast sandwiches.

Wow... that feels good to get that off of my chest.

McDonald's biscuits are dry and dusted with a light but powerful salt. They crumble into your mouth as your teeth meet the grease-caked egg puck and microwaved bacon. As the oils and sulfites swirl around your mouth, you can taste the unfair wages and stifling work environment. With each easy swallow of the heavily self-lubricated food, you can feel the saddle bags under your grease-stained t-shirt expand. But damn, it tastes good.

I like McDonald's bacon, egg and cheese biscuits. I don't feel good about it. No amount of guilt can explain the strain of pleasure I feel when I purchase one. I can, however, explain the strain I feel when I eat the accompanying foods in this breakfast value meal.

First, the hash browns. Anyone who has been to a McDonald's before 11:00 knows these disgusting things. Ovular potato discs sheathed in a tissue paper holster stained and glistening with fryer grease. They taste as if they are comprised of deep fried batter with no potatoes inside at all. Why not just deep fry a slice of Wonder Bread?

Finally, McDonald's new coffee. A few months ago, I began seeing ads all over the city of Chicago advertising McDonalds' new gourmet coffee. The ads depicted the old McDonald's coffee as plain and boring (right-o) while the new coffee was depicted as being well-dressed (check. McDonald's coffee now comes in attractive multi-hued tan cups), edgy (wrong) and bold (extremely wrong). I've had the displeasure of ingesting a lot of McDonald's coffee on train rides home and I am here to dispel the advertising mythology.

McDonald's new coffee tastes exactly the same as the old coffee! It is watery, weak and gives me gas that I'm sure all of my fellow Amtrak commuters appreciate. The only noticable difference in the coffee is that the cashier now serves as beginner barista by putting your cream and sugar in your cup for you. I'm not impressed McD! Your employees still look bored and cracked out and I doubt you have given any one of them a substantial raise for this tedious additional task they have to deal with every morning.

So, as a whole, the meal deal was a bust. But, oooooh that sandwich! So guilty! So greasy! So good.

Rating: 3 / 5

Queso de Cabra from Cafe Iberico

Item Purchased: Queso de Cabra from Cafe Iberico
Location Purchased: Cafe Iberico / 739 N. LaSalle Dr. / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.95 + tax

Review: Queso de Cabra is my favorite dish to order at any tapas restaurant. It works good as an appetizer and continues on through the meal as a dip that everyone returns to with whatever other tapas they may have in hand.

Queso de Cabra consists of A large disc of baked goat cheese swimming in the center of a large bowl of hot tomato basil sauce. It is served with a side of five or six toasted garlic bread slices, but this is never enough. Make sure you have a full bread basket when you order this dish. Spoon this dip on your other tapas! Eat it like a soup. Just don't leave any of this stuff on the table when you are done.

Iberico's tomato basil sauce happens to be the most fragrant and strongly flavored that I have tasted at any of the four tapas restaurants I have visited in my life. The goat cheese melts upon touch and again upon meeting your dirty mouth. Enjoy it. Curse out loud at how good it is. I did.

Rating: 4.75 / 5

Tostadas de Pisto from Cafe Iberico

Item Purchased: Tostadas de Pisto from Cafe Iberico
Location Purchased: Cafe Iberico / 739 N. LaSalle Dr. / Chicago, IL
Price: $4.25 + tax

Review: This dish features eggplant. I hate eggplant. Yet, I love this dish. Weird, huh? That's the great thing about tapas, though. The dishes are so small that you can afford to try something that may contain something you usually wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Kind of like those Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books I read as a kid where I would have the protagonist do all sorts of risky things I would never do like jump off a cliff and light a nun's habit on fire because I knew, no matter what, I could always flip back to the previous fork in the book and choose another path. With tapas, you can always choose another dish. Flip back to the menu. Point. Choose.

This small dish comes with four medium sized toasted pieces of bread buried in heaps of delicious stewed peppers, onion, zucchini, tomato and, yes, eggplant. Cold mushy vegetables are not something I would normally subject myself to but, again, this dish surprised me and I love it. Though the bread is so finely toasted as to make it nearly impossible to cut through without zinging a portion of your food on your lap, I don't mind having vegetable juices running down my forearm as I shovel these Spanish cousins of bruschetta into my mouth. The veggies aren't too soggy and each one retains plenty of flavor and freshness.

Just stay away from the olives... That's where all the sogginess goes.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Tortilla Espanola from Cafe Iberico

Item Purchased: Tortilla Espanola from Cafe Iberico
Location Purchased: Cafe Iberico / 739 N. LaSalle Dr. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.95 + tax

Review: Cafe Iberico not only serves the best tapas in Chicago, but they are also the most affordable tapas in Chicago. Other tapas restaurants make a big deal about being a tapas place. So big a deal that they think it is okay to charge a lot of money for a little food which isn't that good to begin with. Cafe Iberico is a large and spacious restaurant that doesn't over-emphasize the fact that you should go there because it's like Dim Sum but with spanish food. They offer cheap drinks, inexpensive and masterfully prepared food, and stay open late enough for those of us who get off of work at around midnight on weekends to grab something to eat that's not crappy bar food.

The Tortilla Espanola comes from Iberico's cold tapas menu and consists of everything you would expect in a hot breakfast plate. Potatoes, eggs, and cheese are cooked together in an omelette-like formation then wrapped in a light and fluffy tortilla crust and served up like a cold slice of quiche. The dish is served with a cold salad of lettuce and stewed peppers that should be eaten with a piece of the omelette itself to achieve maximum satisfaction. I do have a few hangups with this dish, however. The first is that it tasted a bit stale when I got to the edges. Maybe a cold egg dish isn't the best thing to order from a restaurant near the end of their business day. The second is that even for the great price, this isn't the largest portion. Still better than other Tapas places I have been to, but it is an egg dish... Eggs are a pretty low-cost food. Just a thought.

Rating: 3.00 / 5

Estrella Galicia Beer (12 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Estrella Galicia Beer (12 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Cafe Iberico / 739 N. LaSalle Dr. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.50 + tax

Review: Too much hops in this beer for my taste, but not all bad. Estrella Galicia is a golden colored lager with a golden taste and a bitter aftertaste too bitter for its otherwise golden flavor. That's a lot of gold, and it almost makes up for the bitterness, but there are just certain things I expect from an amber colored beer. Still, at the price that Cafe Iberico sells this Spanish beer for, I would (and will) buy another.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

June 18th - Unreviewable Purchases

Item Purchased: Glass of Vega Sindoa (Viura- Chardonay)
Location Purchased: Cafe Iberico / 739 N. LaSalle Dr. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.50 + tax
Note: Purchased for my girlfriend.

Item Purchased: Diet Coke (glass)
Location Purchased: Seigo's Japanese Steak House / N64 W23180 Main St. / Sussex, WI
Price: $1.43 + tax
Note: Purchased for my mother.

Item Purchased: Chicken & Scallops Combination Hibachi Dinner
Location Purchased: Seigo's Japanese Steak House / N64 W23180 Main St. / Sussex, WI
Price: $21.50 + tax
Note: Purchased for my mother.

Item Purchased: Fillet Mignon & Shrimp Combination Hibachi Dinner
Location Purchased: Seigo's Japanese Steak House / N64 W23180 Main St. / Sussex, WI
Price: $21.50 + tax
Note: Purchased for my father.

Item Purchased: 2 Southern Comfort Manhattans on the Rocks
Location Purchased: Seigo's Japanese Steak House / N64 W23180 Main St. / Sussex, WI
Price: $16.17 + tax ($8.085 ea. Yes, you are reading that right... see below.)
Note: Purchased for my father. This was very odd. On the receipt I received after the dinner, these drinks were listed as such: "2 Souther Comfort: $9.51, 2 Manhattans: $4.76, 2 On the Rocks: $1.90." Does anyone know of another establishment that charges per ingredient on their drinks? This seems extremely meticulous for a bar/restaurant (aka: cheap).? The receipt left me bewildered.

June 18th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: 2-for-1 pack of Marlboro Blend 27 Cigarettes
Location Purchased: Pick'n Save / N78 W14501 Appleton Ave. / Menomonee Falls, WI
Price:
$4.36 w/tax
Review: (LINK)
Note: Holy crap! $2.18 per pack of smokes! That's some cancerific deal!

Item Purchased: Amtrak Hiawatha Train from Chicago to Milwaukee
Review: (LINK)
Note: Home to Menomonee Falls, WI for Father's day!

Item Purchased: Sprecher Brewing Co. Special Amber Lager (16 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Seigo's Japanese Steak House / N64 W23180 Main St. / Sussex, WI
Price: $4.52 + tax
Review: (LINK)

Saturday, June 17, 2006

June 17th - Unreviewable Purchases

Item Purchased: Portabello Mushroom Burger
Location Purchased: Eleven City Diner / 1112 S. Wabash / Chicago, IL
Price: $8.95 + tax
Note: Purchased for my girlfriend... She's the fungus eater, not me.

Item Purchased: Sam Adams Summer Ale (pint glass)
Location Purchased: Eleven City Diner / 1112 S. Wabash / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.50 + tax
Note: Purchased for my girlfriend.

June 17th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Schlitz Beer (12 oz. can)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Three Eggs (Scrambled) from Eleven City Diner
Review: (LINK)

Friday, June 16, 2006

June 16th - Weekly Buy Nothing Day

Things I did today:

-Rode my bike

-Worked

-Sweat in the Chicago heat

-Witnessed a grown man childishly lie to me to prove a point I have no control over... In front of his wife and kid.

-Spent time lounging around with my girlfriend.

-Wrote a bit in my notebook.

-Worked a bit in reformatting BurningJelly.com (which will soon become a place where I will brain-dump things I find on the web or things I am thinking at any given moment... right now it just looks a lot like Consumatron.com)

-Read the current issue of Bookforum (and now I need to check out the new James Tiptree biography)

-Played with my girlfriend's two new kittens.

-Spent $0.00 and had a great day.

From the Shopping Is For The Birds department:

Big box stores like Wal-Mart and Home Depot seem to be the new real-estate of choice for today's feathered fowl. Low prices, nests and poop from the rafters is what these stores have to offer due to civilizations of flying creatures moving in. (Concord Monitor)

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Small Guatemala Atitlan Coffee

Item Purchased: Small Guatemala Atitlan Coffee
Location Purchased: Caribou Coffee / 1328 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.50 + tax

Review: It is hard to believe, as much as I am in Caribou grabbing a drink or snack to break up my work day, that I have never had this particular blend of their coffee. They must brew it at this location primarily on days I do not work. Too bad for me. This one is a keeper.

Caribou's Guatemala Atitlan blend is one of the lighter roasts they offer. Frequent Consumatron readers know how much I like light roast coffee. For those of you who are new here (or to coffee), the more you roast a bean, the more caffeine you lose in the process. Therefore, dark roast = sacrilegious. I think that Starbucks is conditioning us to have a taste for dark roasted coffee so that when we are all dependent on it, they will stop injecting their beans with extra caffeine and we will all become zombies willing to do Howard Schultz's bidding.

This is why I drink this tasty light roast coffee which is naturally imbued with oodles of caffeine to help you fight whatever may slow your day, whether that is zombies or just your co-worker's inane chit-chat. The Guatemala Atitlan blend is also one of the few coffees that Caribou claims to contain fruit flavors that I can vaguely taste when I drink the finished product. Just a hint of fruit makes this velvety coffee one that I will keep my eyes open for... And with.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Frome the I Want My Orgasmatron department:

Sony has announced that they will be selling Playstation Portable Consoles and games through vending machines. Vended items will also include digital cameras, CD players, DVDs and other small portable electronic devices. This means that techno-geeks will no longer have to suffer through any tedious face-to-face interractions with insipient humans. I'd say this is a bad thing, but I choose to view it as one step closer to the orgasm machine from Woody Allen's Sleeper. And you know what that means! Pretty soon, we'll have fruits and vegetables the size of canoes! (Hey, if I can't have my flying car, I'll take what I can get.) (EuroGamer)

June 15th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Marketfare Bistro to-go Chicken Chipotle Wrap (8 oz.)
Review: (LINK)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Bombay Coconut Curry Chicken Tenders from WOW Cafe and Wingery (4pc.)

Item Purchased: Bombay Coconut Curry Chicken Tenders from WOW Cafe and Wingery (4pc.)
Location Purchased: WOW Cafe & Wingery / 717 West Maxwell St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.99 + tax

Review: So, I buckled and went to WOW again to get some overpriced chicken strips. This time, I opted for a 4pc. instead of the 6pc and instead of their tossers, I opted for the tenders. All this really means is that I had to apply the Bombay Coconut Curry sauce myself instead of having the professional sauce tosser in WOW's kitchen do it for me. This option saved me $0.50 and even though the cost per tender was less this time, I still think $6.00 for 4 chicken strips is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on fried chicken. The taste and quality of the tenders are exactly the same as the tossers, but I think you get a little less sauce than when you have them douse your chicken in your choice. Of course, this time I did the smart thing and ordered a different side than the ass-awful fries WOW serves up... Texas Toast! The toast was lightly browned, lightly buttered and taken lightly like a joke from your Uncle who you only see once every three years. The two slices of typical store-bought Texas Toast bread was nothing special, but in comparison to the fries I had last time, this is reason enough to give WOW's tenders a full point more than my last review.

Rating: 3 / 5

June 14th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Blueberry Muffin from Caribou Coffee
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Planters Salted Peanuts (1.75 oz. tube)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Marketfare Bistro to-go Chicken Chipotle Wrap (8 oz.)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) 12 oz. can
Location Purchased: WOW Cafe & Wingery / 717 West Maxwell St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.00 w/tax
Review: (LINK)
Note: Best price in town! Every day WOW has one dollar PBR and Old Style cans. I knew they would rope me back for their overpriced chicken somehow!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

5 x 10 Storage Space Rental (1 month w/insurance)

Item Purchased: 5 x 10 Storage Space Rental (1 month w/insurance)
Location Purchased: Storage USA / 1255 S. Wabash / Chicago, IL
Price: $73.00 w/tax

Review: I am 27 years old and I am homeless. That's one thing I never thought I would be saying. I come from a solid family. Both of my parents are still married and have good jobs. I have been supporting myself since I turned twenty when I moved away from home. I currently work three jobs. When I was a child, I wanted to be an astronaut, an artist and a lawyer, in that order. I scored nearly all A's in high school and went on to make it onto the dean's list in college until I quit because film school was too boring and pretentious for me. I've traveled to almost every state and, had I kept the job I had before moving to Chicago, I would be making nearly a six-figure salary. After a couple of years of city acclimating depression, I find myself a bookseller, research assistant, boyfriend, highly motivated artist/writer of sorts and a sometimes DJ. I also find myself homeless, but you know what?

I love it.

Every single minute of the couch-surfing last few weeks have made me realize even more than before that homeless doesn't necessarily have to carry a negative stigma with it.

Things happen. Like having your 4000+ sq. ft. loft bought by greedy condominium developers and getting the perfect artist's wet dream pulled out from underneath you. Like a seemingly cool leasing agent (coughJasonRaidercough) giving the apartment you showed repeated interest in to some other guys and promising to get back to you about further apartments but failing to do so. Like having a great and affordable three bedroom apartment given to another couple.

Things happen. And when they do, you can do one of two things... Settle or roll with the punches.

In rolling with the punches, I've realized how absolutely lucky I am to have so many friends who will both put up with me and put me up for a few nights at a time until I find the right place where I can start the next stage in my life. Second, I've realized how little a person actually needs to be happy in a city like Chicago.

Living in a large loft like I did, a person tends to amass a lot of stuff. Books, records, silly little tchotchkes and trinkets, robots, remote control cars, etc... You name it, my roommates and I had it. When I realized that I had to move all of my possessions into a small storage space while I hobo'd for a while, I was forced to do some serious cleansing. Clothes donations, book sales, garbage bag filling and furniture adoption. After about a week, I whittled it down to a manageable roomfull of possessions and rented this space. Inside is a bed, boxes and a few pieces of small furniture. Right now I live out of three bags. One I keep with me. One I leave at work. The last I keep at my girlfriend's. Hoping that I don't wear myself out on any one person, I try to keep jumping from place to place, commuting with my bike.

Though I do occasionally feel the stress of not having a "base of operations" for my life, I am taking my time finding a comfortable apartment where I will be able to thrive, saving some money, working a lot, hanging out with good friends, getting to know my girlfriend better, revisiting an outlook on life I haven't had since traveling the country and living out of my van back in 2001 and hopefully not pissing any of my hosts off too much. I recommend a voluntary homelessness to anyone who wants to slim down their material life and revisit what is truly important. It's been almost a month and I feel great.

The only rent I pay is for this dry and cozy storage space where all of my possessions sit stacked on top of each other. I have a sneaking suspicion that when I do find an apartment and revisit these things I thought I needed to hold on to, I will weed out even more in order to make room for new projects.

The space itself is dry and well kept with security and camera surveillance all day long. Though I can only access my storage space between the hours of 6AM and 8PM, this doesn't cause much of a problem. I don't find myself needing to check up on any of my things too often and for the time being, it is nice to have them out of my hair. The first level of insurance that 123 Storage offers covers up to $2000 worth of damage or property which, with the exception of priceless memories that some of my things are tied to, is more than enough. The employees are helpful and friendly and even though I have seen a man sleeping in his storage space, the 123 Storage workers took care of him quick and I am more than assured that everything inside the facility is secure.

Do yourself a favor. Throw your stuff in storage for a month or two and see how free you can be.

Okay, so this was more of a reaction than a review... live with it.

Rating:
4.25 / 5

Monday, June 12, 2006

Artisan French Bread Loaf from Dominick's

Item Purchased: Artisan French Bread Loaf from Dominick's
Location Purchased: Dominick's / 1340 S. Canal St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.29 + tax

Review: More expensive than Jewel's French bread and not much difference in taste. Nuff said.

Rating: 3 / 5

Wishbone Restaurant Style Raspberry Hazelnut Vinaigrette Salad Dressing (16 oz.)

Item Purchased: Wishbone Restaurant Style Raspberry Hazelnut Vinaigrette Salad Dressing (16 oz.)
Location Purchased: Dominick's / 1340 S. Canal St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.15 + tax

Review: A little too thick for a vinaigrette in my book. Still, Wishbone Raspberry Hazelnut Vinaigrette tastes great. The one advantage of having a thicker vinaigrette is that when you soak some of the other ingredients of your salad (like the walnuts I put on mine) while preparing the rest, this tangy sweet dressing's flavor tends to stick. For this reason alone I would buy this dressing again.

Rating: / 5

June 12th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Chocolate Chip Cookie from Caribou Coffee
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Safeway Select Southwest Salsa Mild (16 oz.)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: O Organics Blue Corn Tortilla Chips with Flax Seed (10 oz.)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: 2 - May-bud Gouda Cheese (7 oz.)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Diamond Of California Chopped Walnuts (8 oz.)
Location Purchased: Dominick's / 1340 S. Canal St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.77 + tax
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Rodan Pizza With Asparagus, Tomato, Avacado and Red Pepper
Review: (LINK)

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Chocolate (64%) Dessert from Hot Chocolate

Item Purchased: Chocolate (64%) Dessert from Hot Chocolate
Location Purchased: Hot Chocolate / 1747 N. Damen / Chicago, IL
Price: $10.00 + tax

Review: Hot Chocolate is one of those establishments that is alluring because of a) its name, b) its specialty (hot chocolate) and c) its presentation. Accolades given to a place simply because it slings remixed sugar or makes your soon-to-be-eaten dinner look pretty always make me suspicious. I grew even more suspicious when the waiter asked my girlfriend and I if we wanted bottled water or tap water. Uh... Is that an attempt to upsell us? Tap water please.

Hot Chocolate is fancy. Fancy in decor, fancy in drink and fancy in eats. Regardless of all of this fance, the waiters dress in blue jeans and the tap water most definitely comes from a Chicago tap. It seems to be an establishment trying to hang with both crowds that live and dwell in the Wicker Park/Bucktown area. We were just trying to get some dessert.

The dessert my girlfriend and I picked to share was the Chocolate (64%) dish. It sounded simple and scrumptious enough. After a few minutes, we received an extremely oversized white plate with an edible minimalist sculpture in the middle of it. The sculpture consisted of a warm chocolate souffle tart, a dollop of salted caramel ice cream already melting down the sides and a wiry pretzel of sorts that crowned our dessert like the sinner's thorns we probably deserved. I'm just not sure whether the sin was what I paid for this dessert or the richness of the chocolate itself.

Mind you, paying ten dollars for a small dessert doesn't bother me every once in a while, but being the frugal person I am, there are certain expectations attached to such a purchase.

The souffle melted and stuck in our mouths, coating our glands with chocolate lusts I didn't know were possible in such a small bite. The caramel ice cream was better than most others I have tried, but the highlight was the pretzel topping. Thinner than any pretzel I have ever seen before, the brittle headpiece contained a strong dough flavor and overwhelming saltiness needed to combat the richness of the sugar underneath.

I don't know if it was worth $10.00, but it was a damn good dessert. (And yes, they have $5.00 milkshakes at Hot Chocolate as well.)

I doubt I will be going back anytime soon or frequently, but Hot Chocolate was a nice cap to a lazy Sunday spent lounging around with the woman I love. This restaurant could put a little less love into their foods' appearance and a give customers a little more quantity to love if they wanted to earn paying schlubs like me as a repeat customer.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

Bacon And Brie Burger from Darwin's

Item Purchased: Bacon And Brie Burger from Darwin's
Location Purchased: Darwin's / 1935 N. Damen / Chicago, IL
Price: $9.95 + tax

Review: Darwin's is a slightly overpriced bar/restaurant near the intersection of Damen and Armitage. What they lack in value beers, they make up for in food selection and presentation. Their impossible-to-bus twisty plates and signature fries, coated with lush-ious batter and a midwestern blizzard's worth of parmesan cheese are worth the price of a meal alone.

Among all of the interesting choices on Darwin's menu, I couldn't pass up this carnivore's wet dream. This isn't a regular bacon burger my friends. Oh no. The bacon is cooked inside of the ground beef itself, then topped with melting brie, lettuce, tomato and just the right amount of fresh red onion. All of this is cradled inside of a challah bread roll. It sounded too good to be true.

It turned out to be true, but not as good as I expected. Though the burger was fresh and cooked perfectly to my instructions (medium-well), it could have used a bit more bacon. The few pieces I did notice were cooked crispy, but if you wouldn't have told me there was bacon included, I never would have known. The brie was also tasty but (again) skimpy. This would be a perfect burger if there were just a bit more of the ingredients highlighted on the menu present.

P.S. Despite my overall ambiguous feelings toward this dish, I can't stress how perfectly they cooked my burger at Darwin's. Most places either cook medium well as a charred and dry piece of meat or a bleeding mess. Darwin's got it perfect. Medium well (to me) is the point where all pink is gone but all of the juiciness of the animal flesh remains. Mmmmmm.....

Rating: 2.5 / 5

Veggie Burger from Darwin's

Item Purchased: Veggie Burger from Darwin's
Location Purchased: Darwin's / 1935 N. Damen / Chicago, IL
Price: $8.50 + tax

Review: I only had a bite or two of Darwin's veggie burger. This was purchased for my girlfriend and I was too busy gnawing on the more evolved bacon & brie burger.

From my few bites, however, I found this burger to be fresh and worth the $8.50 price. The burger is slightly mushy when compared to the frozen veggie burgers I am used to, but that is because the primary ingredients of this veggie pattie are squash, potatoes and pumpkin. The sweetness makes for an interesting meal when combatted by the other fresh vegetables included inside.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Grilled Romaine Salad from Darwin's

Item Purchased: Grilled Romaine Salad from Darwin's
Location Purchased: Darwin's / 1935 N. Damen / Chicago, IL
Price: $7.95 + tax

Review: Bizarre. This appetizer dish consists of an extremely large and fresh romaine heart that has been singed on a grill for a few seconds and dusted with parmesan chese. Interesting concept, but I don't enjoy the hearts of lettuce. Also, the heat of the grill only serves to wilt the leafy, crunchy parts that I do like, so the plate looked like something an enemy would prepare for me to eat while watching some inanity like Survivor.

The saving grace of this dish is the creamy garlic parmesan dressing that could double as the world's most perfect dipping sauce. Way to go Darwin's! You get a point for condiments and a demerit for warm lettuce.

Now if you would serve this fine dressing as a side to your equally tasty fries, you might have something!

Rating: 3.75 / 5

Jewel Viognier White Wine (glass)

Item Purchased: Jewel Viognier White Wine (glass)
Location Purchased: Darwin's / 1935 N. Damen / Chicago, IL
Price: $6.00 w/tax

Review: I'm not much of a white wine person. My girlfriend isn't either. At least that's what she told me when we started dating. Now, all of a sudden she starts drinking white wine at any chance she gets! If I were a lesser man, I would begin wondering what else she lied to me about. Instead, I am a big man who realizes that tastes can change and experimentation is healthy. This explains why I tried a big enough sip of her wine to write a short review about it.

Jewel Viognier (sorry, I didn't get the year) is a bold and fruity wine with definite tastes of white grapes, pears and what I thought was a berry of some sort (though it could have been apricot). This wine was far too sweet for my tastes but my girlfriend seemed to enjoy it, which made it worth every penny. For sweet wine, I will stick to ports. If I must drink a white, I prefer a desert dry one.

Rating: 1.75 / 5

Buster Nut Brown Ale (12 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Buster Nut Brown Ale (12 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Darwin's / 1935 N. Damen / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.00 + tax

Review: Buster Nut Brown Ale is brewed by the Ska Brewing company in Durango, Colorado. Colorado is not a state known for beer, so I suppose they deserve props for brewing beverages that seem to be readily available here in Chicago. Another of Ska Brewing's beers I have tried is their Pinstripe Red Ale, which I found to be flat and unimpressive. I gave the beer the benefit of the doubt, thinking the flatness was due to a bad or old batch.

When I ordered this bottle of Nut Brown Ale, I had no idea that the same company behind Pinstripe was responsible for the beer I was about to taste. I like brown and red ales so I tend to jump at the chance to try one I have never had before. Once I saw the bright eyesore of a label hugging the bottle I was brought, I let out a small groan. Brushing off my negative attitude, I did my best to enter into this new beer experience with an open mind, free of judgment.

At the first sip, I was met with the signature flatness that must be Ska Brewing's calling card. Now I know that my first encounter with the Pinstripe Red Ale wasn't just a fluke. Different establishment. Different brew. Same syrupy liquid and annoying ska themed label. Buster's Nut Brown Ale wouldn't be a horrible beer if it were carbonated a bit more. This reminds me of what would happen if someone opened a beer at lunch and decided to drink it at dinner time. Keep trying, Colorado.

Rating: 1.5 / 5

From the Wrapped In Plastic department:

It is a constant struggle between my GM and I. He says to hand out plastic bags with our logo on them with every purchase. I insist on asking the customer if they would like a bag for their books. He says it is free advertising. I say it is a wasteful byproduct of our consumer culture. Maybe he can learn a lesson from the Japanese. (CBS News)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Schlitz Pale Lager (12 oz. can)

Item Purchased: Schlitz Beer (12 oz. can)
Location Purchased: Eleven City Diner / 1112 S. Wabash / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.50 w/tax

Review: I thought Eleven City Diner couldn't get any better but they go and do something like this! Schlitz! Despite the signs everywhere around Chicago, it's rare you see this beer served. Even the few places it is served (Empty Bottle, Schubas), you rarely see people drinking it. People seem to think that the "beer that made Milwaukee famous" isn't Chicago enough for them. Oh give it up people! You drink PBR enough, and that is straight outta Milwaukee. In fact, it is brewed by the same people who make PBR! That's right, after the closing of Detroit's Stroh, Schlitz is back in its birthplace... My birthplace... Milwaukee.

Now all we need to do is get it back to my home of Chicago! C'mon people! Back in 1873, when hundreds of gallons of this stuff was donated to you after the Chicago fire, you drank it up! Unfortunately, from what I know of Goose Island beers, you drank so much of it that you forgot to take notes. Several of your historical buildings still sport the Schlitz logo from when there was a Schlitz pub on every corner of the block. Not only did Schlitz keep you pleasantly inebriated, but it drew businesses to these parts of your recently burnt city. Where is the respect? Where is the Schlitz?

I'll tell you where it is! It's at Eleven City Diner, where they know how to feed a person and, now, how to slip a person into a pleasant and inexpensive buzz. I know that $2.50 for any can of beer is a bit steep, but in a restaurant setting in the south loop, this is about as cheap as it is going to get for you.

Did I mention it is in a can? For some reason, Schlitz is one of the few beers that tastes better in a can than in a bottle. Something about the cold metal kissing your lips just before the wash of taste and joy swirls in your mouth and down your throat. Something about the faint similarity to PBR, yet there is something more there. A little extra taste and a little less bitter. There's just something about it.

There's just something about a Schlitz!

Rating: 4.5 / 5

June 10th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Macaroni & Cheese w/Baked Ham from Eleven City Diner
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Parliament Light Cigarettes
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Falafel Sandwich from Sultan's Market
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: San Pellegrino Aranciata (11.15 fl. oz. Can)
Review: (LINK)

Friday, June 09, 2006

Medium Red Eye from the Italian Coffee Bar

Item Purchased: Medium Red Eye from the Italian Coffee Bar
Location Purchased: Italian Coffee Bar / 1549 Sherman / Evanston, IL
Price: $1.75 + tax

Review: Arriving early in Evanston today to meet a friend for a lunch in Evanston, I began to wander around a bit. I have been to Evanston a handful of times during my five years in Chicago, but never long enough to just wander around and see what the small town has to offer. All I really know of Evanston is that John and Joan Cusack are from there and it is the birthplace of Tinkertoys (thanks Wikipedia).

From my quick walk, I found out that Evanston (at least the area around the Davis Purple Line El stop) is a whole lot of chain businesses, suburban shop layouts and quaint little streets. If it wasn't for nearby Chicago's allure to tourists, Evanston would make a great resort city on the lake.

Amidst all of this sterile atmosphere, Evanston houses some great little restaurants and coffee shops. One of those cafes is the Italian Coffee Bar. With a simple name on the verge of being pretentious, the Italian Coffee Bar carries off what it sets out to do without a hitch. Pleasant friendly employees, comfy tables, chairs and window-bar seating encourage lounging, staring and conversing with whoever happens to be near rather than the faux-comfy cubicle setup of many of downtown Chicago's coffee shops. An article on the wall says that the owner, Chris Casas, set out to recreate a coffee shop that he fell in love with while traveling in Venice. I've never been to Venice, but Italian Coffee Bar does succeed in being a place where I will gravitate to for my caffeine when I next find myself in Evanston. ICB also serves fresh bakery and gelato that I might even make a special trip up there for.

The red eye drink is a cup of coffee with a shot of espresso poured in, to give it a double whammy of a wake-up call. I like espresso in my coffee because of the caramel taste it gives the drink even before I load in the cream and sugar. This red eye had an especially fresh and dark (not burnt) taste to it which made it a whole lot easier to see more of Evanston in the short time I had before meeting my friend.

Rating: 4.5 / 5
Though I am enjoying being homeless for the time being, I find myself extremely busy lately. I am going to drop down to one review a day for a week or so until I get some things in order.

Part of the business is the preliminary planning for the Consumatron.com one year anniversary party in October. Stay tuned.

Hope you all are well.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Marketfare Bistro to-go Chicken Chipotle Wrap (8 oz.)

Item Purchased: Marketfare Bistro to-go Chicken Chipotle Wrap (8 oz.)
Location Purchased: 7-Eleven / 1350 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.99 + tax

Review: Just added to the 7-Eleven deli arsenal! Marketfare Foods' Bistro To-Go Gourmet Wraps!

I'll be honest. As with any microwavable burrito-like convenience food, I was expecting this to be utterly inedible. Quite the contrary, these wraps are so good, it tastes as if someone in the cold-storage area behind the scenes at 7-Eleven is slaving over a hot stove, steaming up the place with his culinary craftsmanship. Not only does the chicken have the consistency and taste of real chicken, but the peppers, corn and black beans don't taste as if they have been floating in water for three years. The mixture of barbecue sauce, chipotle peppers and melted cheeses pack a spiciness not normally found in store-bought prepared foods. The spices don't taste as if someone just doused all of the ingredients in a cheap hot sauce and froze them.

In the end, I can't believe that something that costs only $3.00 is more tasty and filling than a comparably priced burrito purchased at a restaurant or taqueria. Market Fare's other products include the $1.00 Smiley brand sandwich which can be found in some of the fancier $1 Stores across this country. With that kind of cost-cutting experience, I am suspect as to the numerous ingredients and business practices involved in this food, but if you judge these wraps purely on taste and price, they make a great affordable lunch.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Jittery Pets Spot Nip Hedgehog Toy

Item Purchased: Jittery Pets Spot Nip Hedgehog Toy
Location Purchased: Petco / 2000 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.59 + tax

Review: A lot of my friends don't like cats because they don't seem to be as affectionate or caring toward their owners. I am a cat person, so I tend to disagree. Cats just don't need the constant attention that dogs seem to. What some call loyalty I call co-dependence. To each their own.

The one thing cats are not appreciative of is toys. Even though this small fuzzy scale model of a hedgehog vibrates and jitters along the ground after a simple pull of a cord, it does nothing to excite my girlfriend's two new kittens. Instead, they insist on playing with bottle caps from my beer and gnawing at my beard. Of course, this only serves to endear me to the little furballs more because it proves that they are simple creatures who don't need fancy toys or distractions to enjoy life. Like myself, Achilles and Chloe are comfortable taking pleasure in the quirkiness of the world around them and chewing hair. Okay, so I don't chew hair, but I do bite my nails. It is almost the same.

This is a great little toy, but due to circumstance, it was a waste of my money. Sometimes all it takes is a kitten's natural wonder to remind us that there is more to life than buying the latest consumer goods.

Rating: 3 / 5

Buy a toy to be ignored in favor of simpler things from Amazon.com: Consume.

Kirin Ichiban Beer (1 pt.)

Item Purchased: Kirin Ichiban Beer (1 pt.)
Location Purchased: Pint / 1547 N. Milwaukee Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.50 w/tax

Review: Kirin Ichiban claims to have a smooth finish. That may be so, but that doesn't make up for the initial bitter taste when you take a sip of this Japanese pilsner-esque beer. It's not something very prominant or strong, but it is enough to make me wish I ordered a PBR instead of this "special" beer at Pint. Not an entirely bad beer as its body does refresh and get the job that beers are supposed to do done, but I doubt I'll be dropping $3.50 on another one of these any time soon.

Rating: 2.75 / 5

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Macaroni & Cheese w/Baked Ham from Eleven City Diner

Item Purchased: Macaroni & Cheese w/Baked Ham from Eleven City Diner
Location Purchased: Eleven City Diner / 1112 S. Wabash / Chicago, IL
Price: $7.95 + tax

Review: It is fairly difficult to screw up macaroni and cheese, but it is equally difficult to improve on it. Eleven City doesn't go out of its way to make its Mac N' Cheese dish exotic, but there is the simple option of adding baked deli ham into the mix which makes what is traditionally looked at as a convenience food seem like a home-cooked meal Mom slaved over. I thought I might be able to share this dish with my vegetarian girlfriend, but the ham is so plentiful and scattered that this proves to be nearly impossible. The top of the pasta dish is slightly browned, creating a crispy cheese crust that melts in your mouth. As for the rest of the dish, get ready to chew. You won't stop until it is all gone. I promise.

Rating: 4 / 5

June 3rd - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Hacker Pschorr Hefe Weisse Beer (500ml bottle)
Review: (LINK)

Item Purchased: Bottomless Cup Of Coffee from Cafe Jumping Bean
Review: (LINK)

Friday, June 02, 2006

June 2nd - Weekly Buy Nothing Day!

Where the hell did May go? If you live in Chicago like me, you are simply happy to send its way merrily down the road. Half of it was cold and the other half was rainy, with a few scorchers during our two-day long spring. I, for one, am eager to welcome the month of June with its clear skies flurried with grill smoke and people on the streets. Instead of bringing a gift to this party, I decided simply to revel in the weather and enjoy it. Why spend your time in the stores when there is a free economy of life outdoors?

Thursday, June 01, 2006

June 1st - Previously Reviewed Purchases

Item Purchased: Miller Lite (bottle)
Location Purchased: Rainbo Club / 1150 N. Damen / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.25 w/tax

Item Purchased: Old Style (12 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Rainbo Club / 1150 N. Damen / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.25 w/tax