Consumer News and Links for Jan. 25th (Late Edition)
From the Cheap Love department:
For those of you who have let the Hallmark Corporation make you their bitch, here are some really bad (but free) valentines for you to print out. I'm providing this link for those of you with children who insist on passing out valentines to every cute boy in class. I suppose this would also be a valid link for those of you who want to end your current relationship but lack the courage or tact to do it any other way. Of course if you are just cheap, you could always try and convince your snookums that the ink used in printing her valentine costs more than a store-bought card. That will really impress her. (DLTK's Printable Crafts for Kids)
From the Terrorist Fashion (Round 2) department:
As a follow up to yesterday's link about the black market being directly tied to terrorist organizations, here is a story about 18 landlords on Manhattan's Canal street that have agreed to post signs saying retailers are not allowed to sell Louis Vuitton merchandise. Canal St. has become a popular destination for tourists looking for the counterfeit bags. Louis Vuitton himself is in discussions with several other landlords, trying to convince them to take the same measures. Good God's America! You are a true patriot, Louis! Your efforts to secure your profits is ending terrorism as we speak! Keep this up and we may call our deep-fried potato strips French Fries again! Christopher J. Falvey is so proud of you! (WNBC)
From the Best Shoplifting Story Ever! department:
A 33-year-old female prostitute from New Zealand stole a $250 watch and flew over police officers on a paraglider in an attempt to escape. Do you need me to tell you how awesome that scenario is? (New Zealand Herald)
From the Worst Shoplifting Story Ever! department:
A 30-year-old Beijing woman was caught stealing approximately US$1.50 worth of powdered milk. When four security guards confronted her, she confessed and begged forgiveness. The security guards proceeded to beat her with wooden blocks and clothes racks for nearly 12 hours then threw the woman out of the back door of the supermarket. Nineteen days later, the woman died of cerebral hemmorhage. Do you need me to tell you how disgusting that scenario is? (China View)
From the You Still Don't Get Any Health Insurance In The Future department:
Super-Discount-Centers Costco and Wal-Mart are considering using biometric scanners to let their customers pay by scanning their fingerprints. Oh good! The employees still won't be able to feed their families or go to the doctor despite the 50+ hours they work, but I get to check out with HAL 9000. (CNN via Engadget)
For those of you who have let the Hallmark Corporation make you their bitch, here are some really bad (but free) valentines for you to print out. I'm providing this link for those of you with children who insist on passing out valentines to every cute boy in class. I suppose this would also be a valid link for those of you who want to end your current relationship but lack the courage or tact to do it any other way. Of course if you are just cheap, you could always try and convince your snookums that the ink used in printing her valentine costs more than a store-bought card. That will really impress her. (DLTK's Printable Crafts for Kids)
From the Terrorist Fashion (Round 2) department:
As a follow up to yesterday's link about the black market being directly tied to terrorist organizations, here is a story about 18 landlords on Manhattan's Canal street that have agreed to post signs saying retailers are not allowed to sell Louis Vuitton merchandise. Canal St. has become a popular destination for tourists looking for the counterfeit bags. Louis Vuitton himself is in discussions with several other landlords, trying to convince them to take the same measures. Good God's America! You are a true patriot, Louis! Your efforts to secure your profits is ending terrorism as we speak! Keep this up and we may call our deep-fried potato strips French Fries again! Christopher J. Falvey is so proud of you! (WNBC)
From the Best Shoplifting Story Ever! department:
A 33-year-old female prostitute from New Zealand stole a $250 watch and flew over police officers on a paraglider in an attempt to escape. Do you need me to tell you how awesome that scenario is? (New Zealand Herald)
From the Worst Shoplifting Story Ever! department:
A 30-year-old Beijing woman was caught stealing approximately US$1.50 worth of powdered milk. When four security guards confronted her, she confessed and begged forgiveness. The security guards proceeded to beat her with wooden blocks and clothes racks for nearly 12 hours then threw the woman out of the back door of the supermarket. Nineteen days later, the woman died of cerebral hemmorhage. Do you need me to tell you how disgusting that scenario is? (China View)
From the You Still Don't Get Any Health Insurance In The Future department:
Super-Discount-Centers Costco and Wal-Mart are considering using biometric scanners to let their customers pay by scanning their fingerprints. Oh good! The employees still won't be able to feed their families or go to the doctor despite the 50+ hours they work, but I get to check out with HAL 9000. (CNN via Engadget)
posted by Kevin | permalink |
3 Comments:
Can a Frenchman who died over a century ago be an American patriot? If he is doesn't that actually make him a zombie turncoat?
Hey. We need to take what we can get! So he needs a pound of flesh every once in a while! So what!
And no, that wasn't a mistake, I just choose to speak of corporations as people, since that is what they are legally considered.
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