Three Treasures Chow Mein from Lee Wing Wah Restaurant

Item Purchased: Three Treasures Chow Mein
Location Purchased: Lee Wing Wah Restaurant / 2147 S. China Pl. / Chicago, IL
Price: $8.95 + tax

Review: Who doesn't like treasure? Let alone three treasures? Our waitress told us that the three treasures in this chow mein dish were pork, chicken and ham. This led to a discussion between my roommate, Josh, and I about the difference between pork and ham. He said it was the same thing. I said it was something different by restaurant standards. Josh was right.

So our treasures were pork, ham and more pork?

Not really.

I considered the third treasure to be the perfectly fried chow mein noodles in this dish. On the outside, the noodles were crispy and almost dry. Near the center, the noodles were tender and soppy with delicious brown sauce. Absolutely delicious!

Lee Wing Wah is a great restaurant in Chicago's Chinatown to take larger groups of friends or just a couple of people to share plates. The staff is pleasant, but quick. You may feel rushed, but with such a limited seating plan, they simply must be, in order to generate the highest turnover rate of customers. Inexpensive food in large portions, cheap and strong mixed drinks and a somewhat loud, but pleasant atmosphere makes this one of the better lunch stops on your trip to Chinatown. We're not talking fancy gourmet food, but real, good and hearty Chinese fare that will keep you going.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Watch The Consumatron Minute

Khan Vindaloo w/Lamb from Panna II

Item Purchased: Khan Vindaloo w/Lamb
Location Purchased: Panna II Garden Indian Restaurant / 93 1st Ave. Ste. 5 / New York, NY
Price: $6.95 + tax
Purchased on: 02/01/07

Review: Take one look at this East Village Indian restaurant and you might think that they have nothing more to offer than a surrealist mise-en-scene. When I was younger, I used to think that my mother went a bit overboard with Christmas decorations around the house. Sorry Mom, you've got nothing on this place. Panna II prides itself on its colorful display of strung lights, chili pepper light bulbs and overall weirdness. If it weren't for the tables, napkins and silverware, I would have been tempted to think that I wandered into a Coney Island fun house. The narrow dining room is so laden with lights and ornaments hanging down from the ceiling, that it is nearly impossible to stand up straight and a minor challenge to maneuver into your seat.

Beyond all of the colorful glee, however, is a restaurant that offers affordable Indian Cuisine that could put some of the more elegant eateries on Manhattan's Curry Row to shame. For only seven dollars, I received a healthy serving of tenderly cooked lamb meat and potato chunks swimming in a spicy vinegar curry mixture that will have you drinking the complimentary lentil soup that comes with it like it was a glass of soothing milk. Though spicy enough to have you breathing digestive fire, all of the complex flavors required for any lamb dish are present. Served atop the generous serving of rice I received, this lunch filled me up and sent me on my way, ready for whatever hurdles a whirlwind walk through Manhattan had in store for me.

In addition to the quality of the food, Panna II's service is impeccable. Though the typical tourist may be easily discomforted by the stone-faced servers here, they are attentive and concerned with your dining experience. It may have been due to the fact that I was taking pictures of everything on the table, but my waiter responded to my compliments on the food with a complimentary cup of tea at the end of my meal. Appetizer and meal in New York's East Village for under $10.00? You can't beat that. Even if you paid double the price elsewhere, I doubt the dining experience, atmosphere or taste of your meal would come close to equaling Panna II's output.

Mark this oddity as a regular stop for me when I visit New York in the future!

Rating: 4.5 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Watch The Consumatron Minute

Philly Cheesesteak Sandwich from Jet Rock Bar and Grill

Item Purchased: Philly Cheesesteak Sandwich
Location Purchased: Jet Rock Bar and Grill / LaGuardia Airport / Flushing, NY
Price: $8.49 + tax

Purchased on: 01/31/07

Review: Pop quiz... What's wrong with buying a Philly Cheesesteak in New York?

Answer: Nothing, unless you buy it at an overpriced airport sports bar & grill.

The beef in this thing was bland and dry. The cheese was the same type of substance as that Velveeta that comes in long pillars of jelly. It amazes me that some establishments think that just because a cheese is melted, no one will notice how crappy it is. It amazes me even more that most people don't notice. To top off all of these points against this sandwich, the price was more than I would ever choose to pay for something four times as good as this sandwich.

The fries were the best part about this meal. Unless it's a Figs, it's probably a good idea to let yourself starve in an airport than to waste your money at some cut-rate hot plate with a few neon beer signs and four hundred flat screen televisions hanging on the wall.

The French fries were the best thing about this meal. That's never a good sign.

Rating: 0.25 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Watch The Consumatron Minute

Smoked Salmon Entree from Figs LaGuardia

Item Purchased: Smoked Salmon Entree
Location Purchased: Figs LaGuardia / LaGuardia Airport / Flushing, NY
Price: $18.99 + tax
Date Purchased: 02/02/07

Review: When inside of an airport, I expect to pay too much for too little of something that isn't too good. This is why my girlfriend and I decided to try the fanciest looking place in LaGuardia while we were there. One, two, three, knock out! Figs totally pulled the carpet out from underneath my expectations. If you ever find yourself inside of LaGuardia Airport with a few hours and about thirty dollars to kill, I urge you to make a bee-line for this unassuming food court feast factory!

For about two thirds of what I would pay in Chicago for a comparable dish, I received a substantial chunk of fish that was expertly seasoned, smoked, blackened and served atop a pan-continental salad of baby spinach greens and cold cous cous. From the moment I took the first bite of this meal, I didn't want it to end. The fish was perfectly cooked, with a moist inner flesh and crispy outer carbon casing. Both the salmon and the salad were prepared with a mild vinaigrette which accented each individual element's flavor and served to bring the entire entree together.

Never... I say, never did I think I would find something this delicious and this reasonably priced in an airport food court.

Rating: 4.75 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Watch The Consumatron Minute

Blackened Catfish Fillet with Brown Rice & Smoked Gouda Mac N' Cheese from Handlebar

Item Purchased: Blackened Catfish Fillet with Brown Rice & Smoked Gouda Mac N' Cheese from Handlebar
Location Purchased: Handlebar Bar & Grill / 2311 W. North Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $11.75 + tax

Review: If you are reading this review from inside of Chicago city limits, stop now and get over to 2311 W. North Ave. to try this amazing piece of food yourself! (unless you are at O'Hare, because that ridiculous tendril of the city limits shouldn't really be considered part of Chicago anyway)

Catfish is everywhere in the Midwest. It's one of the few types of fish that you can catch in this area and serve fresh virtually year-round. As with most other foods that are so widely available, there is a lot of poorly prepared catfish to be had in this city. I suppose the fact that Handlebar's menu is pescetarian gives them a slightly better chance of being competent seafood cooks, but even that is no sure bet. Take a chance, however, and you will find this blackened catfish dish to be one of the better fish dishes to be found in the city. Not only is the fish itself of solid texture and consistency, but the combination of flavors used to prepare it are worthy of any four star restaurant.

Served without lemon or sauce to accompany it, this confident charred fillet has a slight citrus flavor cooked into it, a fragile smoky crust and a barbecued spiciness that could put most grilled land animal flesh to shame. Instead of dissolving to much in your mouth as most catfish does, the texture remains and you find yourself chewing something substantial and worth far more than its price tag.

The entree comes with two side dishes of your choice. Because fish usually doesn't fill me up, I chose the carb-full brown rice and Handlebar's specialty... Smoked Gouda macaroni and cheese which, for me, is a prerequisite for eating here. Though I finished everything on my plate, I could have ordered a lite salad and still walked away clutching my satisfied belly, which was full of flavor and amazement when I walked through the entrance I plan on walking through much more often.

Rating: 4.75 / 5

Visit the Forum!

Tecate Beer (12 oz. can)

Item Purchased: Tecate Beer (12 oz. can)
Location Purchased: Handlebar Bar & Grill / 2311 W. North Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.50 + tax

Review: Tecate's slogan should be: "Because Corona is gross and Old Style isn't Mexican."

A cheap and pale lager, Tecate is fairly interchangeable with beers such as Old Style or PBR. It has a refreshingly crisp taste and comes in an unmistakeable red and gold can (unlike those other two brands that have the same color scheme). Tecate is also often served with a lime wedge (which most Mexicans don't used in their beer, I'm told) just like Corona. Drinking my beer over a mid-afternoon Sunday meal of blackened catfish, I realized something. I realized that I should add lime to more of the pale lagers I drink. Unlike the off-piss flavor that Corona develops with or without lime, Tecate actually tastes quite good as a citrus drink.

In addition to the great taste, it is worth noting that Tecate was the first beer to introduce the ecologically friendly non-removeable pull-tab on its cans back in 1985, thus reducing lager related pollution and making it much more difficult for the Ronald McDonald House to raise money.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

Visit the Forum!

Primo Panini from Massa Cafe

Item Purchased: Primo Panini from Massa Cafe

Location Purchased: Massa Italian Cafe / 807 W. Roosevelt Rd. / Chicago, IL
Price: $6.59 + tax

Review: Grilled panini bread. Check. Tender grilled chicken. Check. Crispy bacon. Check. Fresh avocado. Check. Swiss cheese. Check. Warm and soggy lettuce. Che... What the hell?

Everything was going so well with this sandwich until I realized that Massa heated up the lettuce along with everything else, reducing it to the consistency and texture of a re-used tissue. Note to Massa: heating up lettuce is only okay some of the time, but not usually on a sandwich.

Everything else about this sandwich is great. The fresh avocado tastes like a nature made guacamole and the combination of bacon and chicken (strike that... the combination of bacon and anything) makes any sandwich better.

With every sandwich purchase at Massa, you receive a free bag of Vitner's potato chips. Vitner's brand chips are neither here nor there. They taste like any other potato snack product. Their mascot, however, is something to be pondered. Named Vinnie, the Vitner's mascot is on the front of every bag of chips. He is pictured as a cool saxophone player with sunglasses on. Out of the horn of Vinnie's saxophone flow five potato chips. Now, I'm sure Vitner's designer meant for the potato chips to represent musical notes, but I can't help but think of them as something else. See, Vinnie is, himself, an anthropomorphic bag of potato chips. With puffed cheeks and eyes hidden behind his large sunglasses, it looks as if Vinnie is vomiting into his saxophone and spraying his potato innards all over the place. I may have a perverse mind, but my friend Josh views Vitner's Vinnie in the same way, so you can't use this as evidence.

Fortunately, eating Vitner's potato chips doesn't elicit the same response from me.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

Visit the Forum!

Vegetarian Chili from Heartland Cafe

Item Purchased: Vegetarian Chili from Heartland Cafe
Location Purchased: Heartland Cafe / Renegade Craft Fair / 1419 W. Blackhawk / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.00 w/tax

Review: The Renegade Craft Fair was in town again for its winter outing (inning?). This time around, the open air market sought shelter in the Pulaski Park Fieldhouse. Utilizing three large rooms in the park's recreational facility, there were a wide selection of craftmakers, D.I.Y. types and a whole lot of yarn being spun. You may recall that I attended the Renegade Fair back in September, when I bought myself some buttons and a bowl. This time around, the fair had a more diverse selection of vendors, with an emphasis on gifts for the holidays and clothing.

Along the way, in one particularly cold section of the field house, the Heartland Cafe (located in Rogers Park and on the far left side of the political spectrum) had a long table set up with offerings of chili and various other snacks. Though the Heartland was offering a Buffalo chili (with actual buffalo meat, not just hot peppers and spices), I opted to go with the vegetarian variety so my girlfriend could help me out.

Though a bit thin, the Chili was tasty. Heavy on the beans and spicy broth, along with a smattering of mushrooms that I happily gave to my girlfriend, this Chili hit the spot, but probably wasn't worth $5.00. The steamed corn torillas that came with the Chili helped bulk the meal up, but I couldn't help feel that it could have used a bit more substance. Maybe I should have gotten the buffalo!

Regardless, Heartland Cafe is a great restaurant with it's heart and mind in the right place... The community. I rarely get up to their neck of the woods, so it is always nice to see them down in mine.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Enter the Dec. 2006 Contest!

Chocolate Hazelnut Mousse Tart from Lula Cafe

Item Purchased: Chocolate Hazelnut Mousse Tart from Lula Cafe
Location Purchased: Lula Cafe / 2537 N. Kedzie Blvd. / Chicago, IL
Price: $7.00 + tax

Review: I hate to admit it, but I was a bit disappointed with this dessert. That is not to say that it was bad. I simply thought the cake part of the tart tasted a bit stale while trying to be crisp and wafer-like. Like a fortified Oreo cookie, the sides, top and bottom of the tart needed to be cracked before reaching the inner cream filling, of which I could have eaten an entire bowl. A typical chocolate mousse with both hazelnut flavoring and actual pieces of slivered hazelnuts inside of it, this dessert could be much better if it followed the rule of "less is more." Besides the stale tart with scrumptious filling, there is also a light and fluffy egg-flavored cream dolloped on top and a runny creme anglaise forming a pond in the plate below.

Lula gets points for serving up something I have never seen the likes of before, but this may be one dessert where they tried a bit too hard. I would have preferred a small dessert dish of the mousse by itself with a token wafer cookie or two to offset the rich flavors within instead of a crunchy exoskeleton to wince through before getting to the good stuff.

Rating: 2.75 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Enter the Dec. 2006 Contest!

Linguine A La Carbonara from Lula Cafe

Item Purchased: Linguine A La Carbonara from Lula Cafe
Location Purchased: Lula Cafe / 2537 N. Kedzie Blvd. / Chicago, IL
Price: $13.00 + tax

Review: People praise the Italians for their pasta and their pizza, but prefer to point out another "p" that the Italians do well... Pancetta. I don't like to think of the prospect of eating any animal's stomach, but pancetta is the exception to the rule. Piggy belly that has been cured, spiced and salted was precisely the primary selling point that made me pick this dish. Everything else in this dish is what made me eat everything on my plate regardless of the fact that I wasn't that hungry to begin with.

In addition to the pancetta, the carbonara sauce used in this dish is also made with Pecorino Romano cheese and pepper so fresh that you can taste a slight spice with each bite. Tender white beans add a welcome texture to the pasta, as well as the price-driving hen of the woods mushrooms included (I even ate some of them despite my aversion to ingesting fungus). Everything tastes as if it were harvested and created in the half hour between the time I place my order and the moment my dinner was delivered. This is just one of the many reasons Lula Cafe is one of my favorite restaurants in the city.

Lula always offers affordable and unique dishes made from local, seasonal and organic ingredients. You can show up in a pair of ripped jeans (because they are old, not hip) and a t-shirt and your meal will make you feel as if you are dining somewhere that demands a suit and tie. Best of all, Lula's food is fantastic enough to warrant that kind of dress code, yet regular Joes like myself can walk in any time and get a top notch meal.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Enter the Dec. 2006 Contest!

Leffe Blonde Ale (16 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Leffe Blonde Ale (16 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Lula Cafe / 2537 N. Kedzie Blvd. / Chicago, IL
Price: $4.50 + tax

Review: While I don't usually review food and drink purchases I make for other people (even if I do happen to have a taste of the purchase), I felt that the sip I did have of this golden colored ale was enough to warrant an opinion. I feel this way because I doubt I will ever be taking a sip of this taste bud twirling atrocity again and would be remiss if I didn't take a shot at what is a poor excuse for a beer. Bear in mind, I love Schlitz, so base how seriously you take this review on that bit of knowledge.

At first, this beer tastes like a pleasant caramel ale on the tip of the tongue, but when the rest of your tongue is exposed to it, the true nature of this Belgian bamboozlement comes out. Though light in flavor throughout, there is an unmistakable cinnamon flavor to this brew. I half expected to see a cinnamon stick at the bottom of the bottle. My beer tastes run wide, but when it comes to woody spices like this, I'd rather have a hot apple cider than a cold brew.

Rating: 1 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Enter the Dec. 2006 Contest!

Spinach Salad from Lula Cafe

Item Purchased: Spinach Salad from Lula Cafe
Location Purchased: Lula Cafe / 2537 N. Kedzie Blvd. / Chicago, IL
Price: $8.00 + tax

Review: Lula does everything right. On a crowded Saturday night, the hostess told my girlfriend and I that we would have to wait nearly 45 minutes for a table (we only waited about 20) and mere minutes after we placed our order, the appetizer arrived. Of course, it doesn't take much to throw together a spinach salad, but Lula did it again by keeping expectations low and the outcome high.

This simple salad is comprised of baby spinach greens tossed with dried cherries, string thin red onions (that neither my girlfriend or I ate, but appreciated for the flavor they added to the dish) and the creamiest chevre cheese that made me want to get down on my knees and beg for goat milk. All this is topped with a perfectly balanced drizzle of balsamic vinaigrette that dances and twists with the already strong flavor provided by the chewy cherries. At eight dollars, this is an adequately sized salad to turn your hunger into a somewhat comfortable salivating anticipation while you wait for the rest of the magic to emerge from Lula's kitchen.

Rating: 4 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Enter the Dec. 2006 Contest!