From the Pay-per Plastic department:

On March 15th, IKEA is going to start charging $.05 per plastic bag at all of their U.S. locations. This is an effort to cut down on consumer waste, and I think it's a great idea. The plan is to encourage customers to use IKEA's reusable bags to carry merchandise out to their cars. My only question is, will there now be a bag security position at IKEA stores?

Y'know... I have a drawer full of plastic bags from the local grocery. If anyone's interested, the going price is $.04.

(CSRwire)

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From the Don't Play With Your Johnson department

This has already been widely linked, but I felt that it needed to go up because it reflects how I feel about many technology consumers to a T.

Joel Johnson, who wrote for the tech-blog Gizmodo for two years has returned for an Ass-Whoopin' minute with an essay that slaps some wake up into everyone who used to hang on his every word. The gist of this essay? Stop buying new shit just because it's new you idiots! From the article:

You want to know the punchline? The average Joe that makes up the market is smarter than you saps. The market-at-large waits until a clear leader emerges, then takes a modest plunge. You may think you're making up the "bleeding edge" of "gadget pimpatude" but you're really just a loose confederation of marks the consumer electronics industry uses as free market research and easy money. "Give me the latest version," you coo, hiking up your skirt another inch over your exposed wallet. "Point Oh One upgrades make me so hot."

I couldn't have said it better myself, Joel.

(Gizmodo)

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From the That's Why You Buy Good Produce! department:

Ivan Dimitrov (47, Russia) has filed for divorce from his wife of 18 years because she was lying about the ingredients she baked into his pies. Anthrax? Cyanide? Nope... Pumpkins. She was baking pies with pumpkins (which Ivan hates) instead of courgettes for six months because pumpkins are cheaper. All this time, Ivan didn't notice the pies he was eating were made from an ingredient he "hates?" 47 is a bit too old to be snubbing vegetables purely on principle, don't you think?

(Ananova)

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From the That New Old-Time Religion department:

The Chicago Bears are going to the Super Bowl! I realize that I can be ostracized for saying something like this, but... I don't really care. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the occasional football game and can admire it for the competition it is, but I just can't get behind the neo-tribalism and arbitrary territorialism of sports fans. I've seen drunken beat-downs in the street outside of my old apartment (located a couple of blocks from Soldier Field) that stemmed from fan rivalry. Rex Grossman represents me about as much as you can smoke Magritte's pipe. I'm not criticizing sports, teams or a person's enjoyment of them. Athlete's abilities and dedication to a game is something to be admired. I'm simply baffled by the level of importance that professional sports holds in our society.

How important is the Super Bowl to Chicagoans? The Chicago Tribune reports that it may just be worth $10,000. I'll watch it at a friend's house and spend the $9,900 I save on something else, thank you very much.

(Chicago Tribune)

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From the Would You Like A Light With That? department.

Chicago's Daily Southtown published an article on Thursday, pointing out the hottest consumer fad in this increasingly technological age... The drive-up window. Drive through banks, drive through pharmacies, and now... Drive through tobacco stores. The manager of Cigarette Outlet (located at 58th & Harlem, just in case you happen to be driving by while reading this and want to pick me up a pack of smokes... I'm just too busy to walk down the block to get one) pointed out the convenience of having a drive-through window and said, "What's the point of coming in?"

I have a better question. What's the point of driving to the store to get a pack of cigarettes in Chicago, when you have to walk no farther than 4 blocks from any particular point in the city to find a store that sells them?

Did we make fattest city in America yet? Where's the drive-through gym?

(Daily Southtown)

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From the Dude... I'm Not Getting Dell department:

Michael S. Dell, of Dell Computers, wants to offset the impact of computer energy consumption on the environment. That's why he's started the "Plant A Tree For Me" program which asks customers to donate $2.00 for every laptop they purchase and $6.00 for every desktop PC. The money will then be donated to two nonprofit organizations that promote ways to reduce or offset carbon emissions and, yes, plant trees. While I commend the desire to clean up the environment, I am confused about the method. Is asking the consumer to voluntarily contribute to this fund really going to help the environment in any significant way? Wouldn't it be easier to raise the price of the machines and donate these amounts with each sale? The prices wouldn't raise significantly and no opportunity would be left open for a penny pinching consumer to deny the environment its fair share.

Dell has done a great job with its free recycling program, but if Mr. Dell truly is "personally interested in the environment," he can do a lot better than simply asking his customers to consider a donation. I worked in non-profit telemarketing for a year and can tell you that this approach is not the best way to secure funding.

(New York Times)

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From the Buy Nothing Year Round department:

The associated press has a new year follow up story about a group of San Franciscans who made a pact to refrain from buying new things for a full year. The group calls themselves The Compact, after the Mayflower pilgrims. Some of the members have vowed to do it all again this year after a one day restocking day. The Compact does have some exceptions to their rule such as food, drink and necessary medicine. Necessary cleaning products, socks and underwear are also allowed. All in all, it's a pretty amazing project that I doubt most Americans could even dream of.

(Yahoo News via Michaelia)
see also: The Compact's blog

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From the Books Go Digital... Then Go Back department:

CNN Money reports that a company called On Demand Books has developed a $50,000 vending machine called the Espresso. No, this machine doesn't pour you cups of highly concentrated coffee. The Espresso is a print on demand book vending machine. With over 2.5 million books available in its database, a handful of the machines are set to go live in approximately 25 bookstores and libraries later this year. The vending machine can print, align, mill, glue, bind two books simultaneously in less than seven minutes, including full-color laminated covers, and render my resume worthless. I'll bet the machine doesn't have a pretentious attitude or talk down to the customers though! You'll miss that when it's gone!

(CNN Money)

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