Asahi Draft Beer (12 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Asahi Draft Beer (12 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Cost Plus World Market / 1725 Maple Ave. / Evanston, IL
Price: $1.79 + tax
Purchased on: 02/18/07

Review: World market had a mix-n-match rack of beers from around the world. I couldn't resist. As a result, you'll be seeing quite a few beer reviews on Consumatron over the next few days. If they don't make any sense, that means I liked them.

Asahi could be Japan's backup when there is no more Budweiser. Similar in taste, this pale lager has all of the important qualities that any average after-work sixer needs. It has a foamy head that dissipates quickly, a crisp sweet and slightly malty flavor on the top and a clean finish. This would make a great beer-and-pizza beer.

Just as the Japanese businessmen I used to wait on at my restaurant job would consistently order Budweiser, I will be sure to order plenty of Asahi when I make it over to Japan.

One point of confusion: I'm not sure why the bottle says "Draft Beer" on it, when it is clearly bottled. Perhaps a bit of mis-translated Japanese?

Rating: 3 / 5

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Anchor Brewing Liberty Ale (12 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Anchor Brewing Liberty Ale (12 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Cost Plus World Market / 1725 Maple Ave. / Evanston, IL
Price: $1.79 + tax
Purchased on: 02/18/07

Review: After doing some preliminary research online (ha! "research" that's funny! cite my sources... "google"), I've come to develop the theory that most beer lovers have bad taste. I make this assessment based on the fact that most people who comment on Anchor Brewery's Liberty Ale seem to like the stuff.

Liberty Ale is much like the definition of the word "liberty" itself. There is a lot of argument over what liberty actually means just like there is a lot of internal argument over what kind of beer this brew is trying to be. As far as I can tell, it is a golden amber ale with pale tendencies and a pipe dream of becoming a full blown belgian fruit beer when it grows up.

To me, it tastes like the beer equivalent of mixing all of the sodas at a self-serve fountain together, then putting a bit of slushie in the mix to gross it up some more.

Such a dissapointment from a brewery that makes other fine beers (Anchor Steam). With that kind of attitude, Liberty Ale, you'll never grow up. Time to retire, if you ask me.



Rating: 1 / 5

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Brooklyn Lager (20 oz. draft)

Item Purchased: Brooklyn Lager (20 oz. draft)
Location Purchased: Jet Rock Bar and Grill / LaGuardia Airport / Flushing, NY
Price: $7.92 + tax
Purchased on: 01/31/07

Review: I knew what I was doing, but I had just stepped off an airplane with an empty stomach and a dry mouth. I had to be at work in an hour and had never been in Queens before, so I settled for overpriced airport food and libation. Not only did I figure I would be trying a local beer that I had never encountered before, but I also expected to be going the inexpensive route by picking something that was brewed only one burrough over. Obviously shipping from Brooklyn to Queens is an expensive freight, because this particular local beer cost me nearly EIGHT DOLLARS!

I guess everyone in the airport is a tourist.

Disregarding the obscene amount of money this fancy hole-in-the-wall last-resort sorry excuse for a sports bar took from me, Brooklyn Lager is a pretty decent beer! It is a fairly standard Amber Lager with bright caramel flavors highlighting its mildly hoppy bite. Brooklyn Lager finishes clean and leaves you wanting more, but at the price I paid, I chose to do without.

I wish this beer was available in Chicago. I'd add it to my rotating roster of standbys.

Rating (product): 4.5 / 5
Rating (price of product): 0.5 / 5

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6 pk. Oranjeboom Premium Lager (16 oz. cans)

Item Purchased: 6 pk. Oranjeboom Premium Lager (16 oz. cans)
Location Purchased: Trader Joe's / 1840 N. Clybourn Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $5.99 + tax

Review: Recommended to me by a friend as "watery swill" that tastes like the beer he used to like in London, I jumped at the chance to try Oranjeboom. "Watery swill" isn't the most glowing of reviews, but I like to keep my beer snobbery at a minimum and have to keep in touch with the real people. (Hell, I come from the land of Miller, after all)

Though Oranjeboom's name suggest something extraordinary, I'd like to propose the tagline, "every country needs a PBR!" Much like my proletariat potable of choice, this beer is a pale golden lager that tastes best when chugged directly from the can or bottle. Though most English speaking drunks... er... cold coffee connoisseurs may expect the "Oranje" in the name to suggest an orange flavor, it in fact does not. Oranjeboom is simply a satisfying Dutch pale lager with a bit more of a bite than PBR or Old Style and the cleanest finish of the three.

If it were a bit less expensive than $5.99, I might consider buying this beer as a staple in my refrigerator. As it stands, I may just have to save it for special occasions... Like Fridays.

Thanks to Mark Day for the recommendation... Check out his videoblog... The guy is way funnier than you are!

Rating: 4.25 / 5

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Tecate Beer (12 oz. can)

Item Purchased: Tecate Beer (12 oz. can)
Location Purchased: Handlebar Bar & Grill / 2311 W. North Ave. / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.50 + tax

Review: Tecate's slogan should be: "Because Corona is gross and Old Style isn't Mexican."

A cheap and pale lager, Tecate is fairly interchangeable with beers such as Old Style or PBR. It has a refreshingly crisp taste and comes in an unmistakeable red and gold can (unlike those other two brands that have the same color scheme). Tecate is also often served with a lime wedge (which most Mexicans don't used in their beer, I'm told) just like Corona. Drinking my beer over a mid-afternoon Sunday meal of blackened catfish, I realized something. I realized that I should add lime to more of the pale lagers I drink. Unlike the off-piss flavor that Corona develops with or without lime, Tecate actually tastes quite good as a citrus drink.

In addition to the great taste, it is worth noting that Tecate was the first beer to introduce the ecologically friendly non-removeable pull-tab on its cans back in 1985, thus reducing lager related pollution and making it much more difficult for the Ronald McDonald House to raise money.

Rating: 3.75 / 5

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Mythos Beer (12 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Mythos Beer (12 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Nine Muses Cafe & Bar / 315 S. Halsted St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.38 + tax

Review: Heineken Brewery was founded in 1864 while Mythos Brewery was founded in 1970. Sorry Mythos, but you're about one hundred years too late. Not to knock Heineken (I enjoy Heineken), but if you are going to produce a beer that will be heavily exported to other countries to represent your culture's brewing expertise, why would you simply mimic a normal, run of the mill straw colored pilsner? I can probably name a green bottled beer for each finger and none of them taste all that different. Mild, refreshing and a minor, yet varying, bitterness. Mythos is probably the mildest of all of the greenies I have tried, but by no means is anything special.

The more important question is why all beer that comes in a green bottle happens to be a mild, refreshing beer with mild, yet varying, bitterness? Is there some kind of alcoholic beverage global law that makes this a requirement? If anyone has an answer, please let me know, because I haven't been able to find anything.

The best part about drinking a green bottle beer in Chicago's Greektown on a Wednesday night is that Nine Muses had a half-off special on all drinks. The usual $4-6 dollars you pay for a Heineklone is pretty ridiculous, but at three bucks and change, you can't go wrong.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

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Leffe Blonde Ale (16 oz. bottle)

Item Purchased: Leffe Blonde Ale (16 oz. bottle)
Location Purchased: Lula Cafe / 2537 N. Kedzie Blvd. / Chicago, IL
Price: $4.50 + tax

Review: While I don't usually review food and drink purchases I make for other people (even if I do happen to have a taste of the purchase), I felt that the sip I did have of this golden colored ale was enough to warrant an opinion. I feel this way because I doubt I will ever be taking a sip of this taste bud twirling atrocity again and would be remiss if I didn't take a shot at what is a poor excuse for a beer. Bear in mind, I love Schlitz, so base how seriously you take this review on that bit of knowledge.

At first, this beer tastes like a pleasant caramel ale on the tip of the tongue, but when the rest of your tongue is exposed to it, the true nature of this Belgian bamboozlement comes out. Though light in flavor throughout, there is an unmistakable cinnamon flavor to this brew. I half expected to see a cinnamon stick at the bottom of the bottle. My beer tastes run wide, but when it comes to woody spices like this, I'd rather have a hot apple cider than a cold brew.

Rating: 1 / 5

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Dec. 9th - Previously Reviewed Purchases

[ Camel Turkish Royal Cigarettes (Hardpack) from 7-Eleven ($7.95) / Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) 12 oz. can from The Beachwood Inn ($2.50) / 2 Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) 12 oz. bottle from Lula Cafe ($1.75/ea.) / Red Stripe Beer (12 oz bottle) from The Beachwood Inn / 2 Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) 12 oz. bottle from The Empty Bottle ($2.00/ea.) ]

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