Fresh Horseradish Root from Whole Foods (0.84 lb)

Item Purchased: Fresh Horseradish Root from Whole Foods (0.84 lb)
Location Purchased: Whole Foods Market / 1000 W. North Ave. / Chicago, IL 60622
Price: $4.19 + tax

Review: I'll admit it, I pulled the old 'innocent tourist' trick to get this big honkin' piece of horseradish. I've never seen raw horseradish before. The only knowledge I've had of it until now is those small disgusting packets of horseradish sauce you get at Arby's restaurants. You know the ones... They taste like ass pudding and tickle the nose hairs you never thought you had.

While in the produce section of Whole Foods today, I found the sign for horseradish, but it was among five or six other signs for vegetables I also did not have any experience with. I thought I knew which one it was, but I'm not the typical male who won't admit his lack of knowledge and continue driving in the wrong direction. No. I'm the type of male who will pretend he didn't even see the sign and ask the grocer if they have any horseradish at all, so as not to look completely uneducated.

Only serving to rub in the shame of asking for help in this way, the grocer took me over to the roots I had originally thought to be horseradish and pointed at them. This left me questioning where my shame came from at all. I know I don't know everything. Hell.. I don't even know all that much. Perhaps it was the drone-like competency of the rest of the Whole Foods customers that caused me to feel anxious and defensive... I don't know.

Regardless, I got this large hunk of horseradish that looks a bit like a bugle to me. I only needed three tablespoons of the root for the tofu bars I made, so I can still play bugler for quite some time.

Fresh horseradish is not nearly as strong as the mulched kind you buy in jars. It smells like dijon mustard and adds a great spicy flavor to whatever you sprinkle it atop. I have a feeling my fear of horseradish has been cured and I will be using this root much more in the future.

I better. There's a lot left!

Rating: 4 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Enter the Dec. 2006 Contest!

15 Fresh Sea Scallops from Whole Foods

Item Purchased: 15 Fresh Sea Scallops from Whole Foods
Location Purchased: Whole Foods Market / 1000 W. North Ave. / Chicago, IL 60622
Price: $42.30 + tax

Review: I'd like to invite everyone to my next dinner party where I will be serving ramen noodles and Safeway brand soda in the can.

Holy jeez these scallops were expensive! $22.00/lb. But this dinner party was special. This was my non-holiday, pre-holiday dinner party, so I had to go all out... In honor of those people who don't feel comfortable with any holiday (me), but extremely comfortable with good seafood (me again).

I almost bought my scallops from Dominick's, but when compared to the selection at Whole Foods, Dominick's scallops looked like fleshy marbles in a bucket of sewer water. In the scallop world, mine were professional wrestlers, politicians or both. These suckers were big! Each one measured nearly three inches across pre-pan and two inches post-pan. After smothering them in a lemon vermouth sauce and bacon fat, these scallops were not only big, but famous. Even Theresa, who hates seafood, liked them!

So my question is, when will the investors come crawling out of the woodwork to pay for my own restaurant? Or maybe they could just cover my grocery bill for my dinner parties.

Whole foods offers fantastic fresh foodstuffs at a price that is set to attract people who know nothing about food and base quality on price. For the most part, Whole foods succeeds in backing their prices up with quality. These scallops are just one example. The flesh of the scallops was a healthy white rather than the sickly gray-pink hue most grocery store scallops have. I wouldn't buy these every week (even if I did have the money), but for special occasions, this is a fair price for quality seafood.

Rating: 4.25 / 5

Visit the Forum! / Enter the Dec. 2006 Contest!