Small Columbian Coffee from 7-Eleven

Item Purchased: Small Columbian Coffee from 7-Eleven
Location Purchased: 7-Eleven / 1350 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.29 + tax

Review: Not only did my tongue taste as if someone had grafted a dirty penny to it after drinking this cup of coffee, but the rest of me felt a bit unfulfilled. See, every day at work, I walk into the Caribou Coffee down the street and get myself a small coffee or beverage. I chat a bit with the baristas (most of whom, have become good friends), order a cup of objectively overpriced coffee and start my day. Occasionally, I will have a smoke with one of the baristas before crawling back to the office. This is all part of my daily ritual of communicating and caffeinating.

Today, Caribou Coffee was closed until mid-afternoon due to a water valve being shut off. Lacking in conversation and caffeine, I decided to do something about one of those things. Oh god, I thought, remembering my last experience with 7-Eleven's coffee. I dreaded the wet cardboard taste.

Even more awkward was the lack of coffee conversation I had become so dependent on. The employees at 7-Eleven and I have a different kind of friendly rapport than I do with my coffee crew. It felt strange to spend an extended time preparing my coffee, getting to know the layout of the preparation table at 7-Eleven and staring over a steaming cup of black liquid at the woman behind the counter. See, I am usually making small talk over a cellophane-wrapped sandwich with factory chicken inside of it or a pack of cigarettes. Never a cup of coffee. It made me wonder how much of my interaction with these people that sell me something is genuine and how much is automatic. If you think about these things too much, you will slowly go mad, so it is a good thing that the taste of the coffee snapped me out of this musing.

7-Eleven's Columbian blend is a far superior coffee to their Exclusive blend. Unfortunately, that doesn't say much. Where the exclusive blend made me want to throw up, the Columbian blend just made me want my Caribou friends back. This coffee tastes like hot water with sugar in it. There is virtually no coffee flavor to it. What little that can be detected is bitter and bland.

7-Eleven, I fear your charm is wearing thin. Convenience is still your strength, but you used to be so inventive and fresh... even if your food wasn't.

Rating: 2 / 5