Safeway Select Ibuprofen Tablets (24 ct.)

Item Purchased: Safeway Select Ibuprofen Tablets (24 ct.)
Location Purchased: Dominick's / 3145 S. Ashland / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.99 + tax

Review: When I got the phone call telling me that my girlfriend had been hit by an inconsiderate, litigiphobic coward in a gold intrepid who turned left on a red light and sped off after having a human being... my girlfriend... roll over his hood onto the ground, I did what any boyfriend in his right mind would do. I stayed on the phone with her until the paramedics made sure she was okay, waited on my front step while the cops drove her to my place, smoked half a pack of cigarettes, bit a few nails, held her in my arms and stayed with her until I was sure she was okay and then walked a mile or so in the rain to get her some ibuprofen, coke, chocolate and beer. First, I walked to Citgo where they had every pill imaginable except for pills with ibuprofen in them. So, I started back down Archer until I caught a cab (which smelled like a narcotics lockup that caught on fire) to the Dominick's a mile down the road.

By the time I got to the store, I looked like a wet dog. By the time I bought this ibuprofen and beer and started back home on foot, I looked even worse. As I was passing Los Com Padres bar on Archer Ave., a Mexican man told me that he would buy "a cerveza for the wet gringo." When I told him my girlfriend got hit by a car, he told me that it would be "two cervezas for the wet gringo then." He smiled a drunken smile and I returned with a wet one. As I politely declined and kept on my way, the man yelled at me "Okay gringo! You come back any time and I will buy you that cerveza!" If I thought the man would remember his offer, I would take him up on it. By the time I got home, I looked like... well... take a look for yourself.

My girlfriend swears by ibuprofen because of its anti-swelling powers. I'd have happily walked the entire length of the city for to get a bottle of this stuff for her. As angry as I am that we live in a society where people are so irresponsible and afraid of getting sued that they would speed off in their car after running into someone, I'd like to share with you that several people stopped to help my girlfriend and make sure she was okay. So thank you decent people of Chicago. You fill this city with the reasons I stay here. Specific thanks to Michael for calling the police and letting me know what was going on.

Rating (ibuprofen): ? / 5
Rating (hit-and-run-drivers): -5 / 5
Rating (helpful decent Chicago citizens): 6 / 5
Rating (my girlfriend's health and safety): 10 / 5