Safeway Select Frozen Cheese Pizza (20.5 oz.)

Item Purchased: Safeway Select Frozen Cheese Pizza (20.5 oz.) Location Purchased: Dominick's / 3140 S. Ashland / Chicago, IL
Price: $2.50 + tax

Review: Dominick's generic brand, Safeway Select is nothing if not consistent with their foodstuffs. As with the Southwest Salsa I reviewed a few months ago, this pizza is exactly what you would expect from a bargain-priced frozen dinner. After pre-heating and cooking this pizza for the suggested amount of time, the end result was spongy crust with watery tomato sauce and not even enough cheap cheese to cover its embarassing red marks that resemble some kind of acne. Bland in every way, this is food for drunks and children.

Let us not, however forget the pizza-sex maxim. Though I rate this pizza low, I will most likely reach for another sometime soon.

Of course, if you douse the pizza with Old Bay and Krazy Mixed Up Pepper like my girlfriend and I did, you transform a foodified frisbee into lazy Sunday delicacy.

Rating: 1.5 / 5