From the Where There's Smoke, There's... Um... department:

My wonderfully insane city of Chicago signed a law last Friday that requires all cigarettes sold here be designed to go out when not smoked by 2008. "Low-Ignition" cigarettes. For chrissakes! You've already raised the taxes several times on one of my few vices! Now you are going to bring technology into the act of smoking a cigarette? That's going to be even more money! Just make the damn things illegal already. They would be easier and cheaper to get a hold of, I assure you. And what about matches? Do you know how many times I've lit an entire matchbook on fire on windy nights? Why not make low-ignition matchbooks. Or why not take a vacation with all of the tax money you've swindled out of us already and stop making stupid laws like this one.

Is it wrong that I feel like smoking six cigarettes on top of a mound of fois gras in the middle of Daley Plaza. (ABC7 Chicago)