Tai Pei Chicken Fried Rice With Fried Rice (14.2 oz.)

Item Purchased: Tai Pei Chicken Fried Rice With Fried Rice (14.2 oz.)
Location Purchased: 7-Eleven / 1350 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $3.29 + tax

Review: What is it with me and chinese takeout boxes? I can't seem to get enough of them. Unlike the noodle dish from Simply Asia that I purchased on Monday, this chicken fried rice (with fried rice) is not a piecemeal dehydrated meal. This box comes from 7-Eleven's freezer and requires 6+ minutes in a 1200 watt microwave to fully cook. I'm not sure what prompted me to look in 7-Eleven's freezer today. I usually forget that they even have a freezer. I'm not sure if that is an entirely bad thing.

First off, you don't even have to take the plastic wrap off of this box before heating it. Since all of the pre-cooked (?) ingredients are frozen into a blooming brick form, the plastic helps keep the heat and moisture inside the box so my lunch cooks thoroughly. After it is done cooking, the next step is for me to unwrap the plastic, curse the smithy-hot steam that erupts onto my fingers and face and dig in with some chopsticks.

When I began eating this box of fried rice (with fried rice), I didn't see any chicken. The remainder of the ingredients were well cooked and tasted like day-old fried rice leftovers with a bit too much soy sauce on them. The inclusion of baby corn and carrots surprised me and even though I prefer my fried rice (with fried rice) with egg, it was probably better that Tai Pei left the second poultry item out.

As I neared the bottom of my meal, I found the chicken pieces. Let me assure you that this chicken had never seen a blade of grass or a ray of sunlight in its short life. The meat (?) resembled the frothy vomit my cat used to leave in puddles on the carpet after he ate a cluster of fake flowers or baby's breath. There were no tendons, but there were bubbles inside of the meat (?) and the sight of it made me instantly lose my appetite. Tai Pei is a Canadian food company and I must say that this makes me angry at my neighbor to the north. I'm so angry I may just go home tonight and watch my VHS copy of Canadian Bacon to get even with them. All the convenience in the world isn't worth this Canasian treat with the frothy white surprise at the bottom. Stay far away from this stuff.

Let this be a lesson. Any product that has to repeatedly announce that it is what it is (the package says "Chicken Fried Rice With Fried Rice) cannot be trusted.

Rating: 0.75 / 5