Hershey's White Chocolate Take 5 (2.25 oz. king size bar)

Item Purchased: Hershey's White Chocolate Take 5 (2.25 oz. king size bar)
Location Purchased: 7-Eleven / 1350 S. Halsted / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.29 + tax

Review: I didn't know that they even made a white chocolate Take 5 bars. Had I known, I would have specified to my friend Pete, who made the trip down the street to pick up some snacks, absolutely positively no white chocolate. I mean, why would they even venture to make a white chocolate version of one of the best candy bars on the market today? Everything else is there. Caramel, peanut butter, peanuts and pretzels sit combined in a flavor packing ratio and then are smothered with waxy disgusting white chocolate. Who even likes white chocolate? It's not even chocolate! White chocolate is like the little brother who is always trying to talk like you but can't quite grasp your meaning or cadence so he ends up sounding like Abraham Lincoln in Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure. Here's a secret for you not in the know... WHITE CHOCOLATE ISN'T EVEN CHOCOLATE! It contains most of the ingredients of chocolate, but is missing the one crucial additive that makes chocolate chocolate. According to the FDA, if there is no Chocolate Liquor in a substance, it simply cannot be chocolate. According to me, it also ends up tasting like a mixture of marshmallow fluff and Windex.

This candy bar's one saving grace is that the wrapper says it is a "Limited Edition." Let us hope it is very limited.

Rating: .25 / 5

Buy some utterly disgusting crap at Amazon.com: Consume.
Image from Mikescandywrappers.com