From the Nowhere To Go But Up ????? department:

Seems that after years of ravaging our consumer wasteland with their ugly supercenters and shifty methods of guaranteeing low prices, Wal-Mart is having trouble doing what a corporation is supposed to do... increase profits. Their stock has been slipping despite increased sales. Chief Executive Lee Scott is reaching for trendier merchandise and a more appealing environment to increase sales. So c'mon all you Chinese sweatshop workers! Start making our cheap plastic crap look flashier! I want my yellow smiley face to be wearing an iPod and blingin' by the end of the next fiscal year! (Durant Democrat)